Pack Bonding

A 72-post collection

Challenge #03002-H079: Friendship Offering

They were used to having humans aboard ships over the years. One group or another would work with them to protect them whenever they were heading out to map the Edge. As usual, they had four humans with them. Two scientists, two guards. But one of the guards was different. Unlike all the humans the havenworlders had worked with in the past, this individual politely declined all of the sweet desserts that were offered in friendship and preferred fresh fruits and sliced vegetables to munch on. They weren't vegetarians, but apparently, they didn't really care for sweets. -- NoSweetsPlease

In the "Helpful Tips" section of the Human Interaction Manual, it said, When all other efforts at pack-bonding fail, offer food. Humans like sweet things and offerings of treats will win them over in no time. There were numerous appendices of recipes with easily-understood or obtainable ingredients and simple replacements. Though things like Snickers Salad and Cookie Salad had to be jokes that someone took too seriously[1].

Companion Zeng checked the database of Human jokes just to check. No, the most recent post was concerning the one about the roasted camel, and its parallel, the roasted elephant. Second to that was how to cook and serve an Australian parrot[2]. People actually ate the foods in the recipes section. Not that Zeng was going to try any time soon.

Simple offerings were the best. Something easily acquired and not with versions that could take up to a month for curing. Wow. Some Humans would eat anything. Bark, bugs, any number of poisons, the one bit of an extremely delicate fruit that had to be burned and treated before it could be handled safely... Some of them even ate clay[3]. Zeng, after making certain of the recommendations, went with simple sugary treats. Fudge, to be precise.

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Challenge #02990-H067: To Ease Dreams

Try petting a sleepy human, you may be surprised how they react

Going by my household, that reaction can be anything from screaming and flailing to rolling over, hugging you, and purring. -- Anon Guest(s)

[AN: This was in two posts by as many as two Nonnies, so I added the option for a plural]

Companion Hyekk read and re-read the helpful hint in the Companion's Guide to Bonding With Your Human, and considered what he knew of Human Gof. Not

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Challenge #02978-H055: I Got'cha Something

On docking at the station, the first thing the crew noticed was that it was Silly Season. The second thing that they noticed was that, while they had been being distracted by the colorful streamers on the walls and the semi-random bursts of soft flower petals falling from above, their human had vanished. Hopefully, whatever souvenirs they picked up for pack bonded crew-members would be benign this time.... -- Anon Guest

Silly Season is not a specific time on any planet's calendar.

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Challenge #02934-H011: The Songs We Sing

give me the beat boys and free my soul

I wanna get lost in your rock 'n' roll and drift away -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link leads to a video with parody lyrics that is for real a 2020 mood. Offensensitivity warning for crude language]

The Humans were singing. This was nothing new. The matter of what they were singing was up to debate. The tune was familiar, but the words kept changing.

"Gimmie the yeast, boy/ and knead my rolls, I

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Challenge #02907-G350: You're Worth Fighting For

Human A: "If you try to kill yourself, I will fight you."

Human B: "...I would not win that fight."

(Note: This is part of a conversation that I actually had with my suicidally depressed partner. And yes, if I thought he was going for it, I would totally fight him.) -- Anon Guest

This, alarmingly, was a common conversation between the two Ship's Humans of the Fanciful Deal. Human Zae had issues that manifested as periodic bouts of severe depression. Their

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Challenge #02886-G329: Parallels in Babysitting

(My husband, talking about our children's habit of climbing on me before falling asleep)

"The little ones climb the big ones" -- Anon Guest

Even on Havenworlds, there is one rule followed by nature. If you want to keep your young safe, keep them close. Some prefer the strategy of over-breeding so that some survive to adulthood, but that's more of a Deathworlder thing. Given this fact, it is small surprise that the young of any species seek closeness with those who

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Challenge #02820-G263: You're Adopted!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM8dCGIm6yc -- Anon Guest

[AN: Watch it. Be amazed]

Humans may not be the only species who have weaponised music, but they are the only ones who have weaponised it so effectively. Many have known the sheer horror of thousands of Humans with their voices raised in one song. Scarier still is one Human with some impressive vocal skills.

Soprano is just one of them. The ability to project is another. Throat singing, however, is one

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Challenge #02813-G256: So Vulnerable

I want to see aliens that think humans are cute. Like, they get a Ship's Human because Rules, and when they meet them, they're just...

Oh, it's so cute! Must. Protect.

And it ends in mayhem and hilarity. -- Anon Guest

They had been against having a Ship's Human, but they were exploring and documenting the Edge Territories, so it was mandatory. Those meaty Deathworlders would only cause chaos and destruction. They even had to get a new ship made entirely of

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Challenge #02795-G238: The Ultimate Plasmotron 6000

While I’m playing some team based game

Some dumba22:

Ooo what’s over here~

Death chat:

[the entire enemy team] absolutely destroyed [dumba22] -- Anon Guest

The Humans were very still. There were twenty of them, each concentrating on a screen. It was utterly silent. One of them might mumble now and again, but otherwise, they were transfixed. The only noise was the movement of mice and the click of W A S D keys.

Companion Vresk was only sure of

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Challenge #02794-G237: We Do Mean Anything

Me: Bears are f** terrifying. Some are bulletproof, their bones are strong enough to last though hibernation and are maul me to death with in a matter of seconds.

Also me: https://ifunny.co/fun/QrPytnfe7?s=cl -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video shows a Russian dude (I presume, the dialogue sounds Russian) playing with his FULLY GROWN PET BEAR. How fortunate we are, indeed, to live in a world full of creatures who love to be petted]

Humans will arrive with

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Challenge #02757-G200: Say it With... ????

A xenobiologist decided to study the mating behaviors of many other races from the the weakest havenworlders to the strongest deathworlders. However, when it came to ... ah... HUMAN mating behaviors, well, things just got weird! -- DaniAndShali

It was the study of centuries, greatly aided by just hanging out in various public zones of crossroads stations and people-watching. Of course, the more invasive aspects of the study were a matter for each species individual fictions and documentaries. This study was about the

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Challenge #02749-G192: Disentangling Groupthink

Gamer‘s mob mentality https://youtu.be/1DALU-AHb-U -- Anon Guest

[AN: offensensitivity warning for toxic masculinity content, simulated violence within the linked video]

No matter what the team sport, Humans will become so invested in their team that hostility becomes part of the identification procedure. -- Excerpt from The Galactic's Guide to Human.

The real trick, the Alliance decided, was to discourage the truly horrible behaviour when it started. Allowing it to persist only resulted in worse examples of more of

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Challenge #02743-G186: Gifts For the Pack

What happens when humans are so pack-bonded that even other species start acting like them? The same willingness and madness you'd see from a human instilled into a havenworlder,

Would they really be a havenworlder anymore? -- Anon Guest

Humans will pack-bond with anything. This is known. They will back bond with other intelligent life forms so hard that the pack-bonding works both ways. This has been fatal to some. This has been life-saving to many. For most, though, it just is

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Challenge #02738-G181: Stick Together or Fall...

The strength of the team is each member, the strength of each member is the team -- Anon Guest

Humans have so many sayings about their pack action. There is no I in Team. Teamwork makes the dream work. We stand together or we fall apart. If you needed any further proof that Humans are pack animals, there you go. It's coded into their daily axioms.

It comes to the fore when they work together as teams. They come to know each

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Challenge #02735-G178: Life and Pie

The elderly human was sitting on the porch of their home here on Earth when a shuttle neatly landed on the wide gravel road not far from the garage. They were curious, didn't get many visitors out here on the farm. Once things had settled and were quiet again, the door opened and soon the alien stepped out. The alien, a middle-aged being, smiled and greeted their old friend and went to sit with them for a while. The did promise, as

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