Amalgam Universe

A 2270-post collection

Challenge #02589-G032: Deception

Anyone who's had humans aboard their ships will know one thing for certain, even when asleep, humans can be very loud. They call the harsh, almost predatory growling-like noise, snoring. There was a reason if you want to allow humans to have quarters aboard your ship, you sound proof it. However, it's also often an indication of the human having an obstructed airway when they sleep, which could be, from a medical standpoint, worrisome. However, once you heard that sound, you knew they were well and deeply asleep. But then again, enemies also knew that sound meant they were asleep, too. What they didn't know, was how well humans can fake the noise and take someone off-guard. -- DaniAndShali

Science has attempted to figure out why Humans snore. Some theories say that the snarling growl would be enough to frighten predators from attacking their sleeping bodies. Some insist that it's merely a byproduct of evolution going with whatever worked well enough at the time. Whatever it is, it has become very important for a crew to know what their Human(s) sound like when sound asleep. Of course, there's always the 'light sleeper' who can go from unconscious to wide awake at the least provocation. In all cases, sound proofing is beneficial to the crew.

What's important about knowing the Human(s) normal noises is the simple fact that Humans know they snore. Some are even aware of the exact sound they make. Humans are also mimics. It's what has made them foremost in xenolinguistics in all of known space. All of these things can create a perfect storm, just like the events that occurred on the Miss Adventure.

Piracy, the Vorax, or both are common hazards in the outer space lanes. One of the many reasons why it's advisable to have at least one Human aboard. One or the other had happened to the Miss Adventure, the records were never clear and the combined efforts of witness testimony and forensics on the remains were unable to determine which forces were at work. Either way, they used a chemical sleep agent and literally dragged the crew to a holding area whilst they raided the ship.

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Challenge #02588-G031: Find-a-Family

He had stolen a lot of items before he was caught. He wasn't a pirate, he didn't go raiding ships, but they treated him nearly as badly as if he had been one. He would sneak aboard stations with lax standards, swipe small but expensive items from cargo holds that were in the process of loading, and escape. Problem is, all thieves get caught sooner or later. And a teenager like him, homeless and no longer caring, didn't normally have a future

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Challenge #02587-G030: Gung Ho

You say "martyr" and I say "I love my family." Sometimes you have to accept that humans make peace with the concept of sacrificing a life for their loved ones (no matter what species). Get on that bike and RIDE, b@tch. -- Ride or Die

This is why Humans are considered insane. Their sense of self-preservation is subservient to the greater good. They can look at an overloaded sled, figure out the importance of the supplies needed at the destination, and

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Challenge #02586-G029: A Friend of a Friend

We love, we protect, and we only want you to carry our own with you when you escape. Please, please, take our tiniest and most vulnerable with you when we sacrifice ourselves for an exit (X1000% if it's our pets, who can't even deal with the galaxy we brought them into) ---HUMANKIND c/- Protection

"You lot go on, I'll catch up. Just do me a solid, okay? Make sure Tibbles is safe with you." Human Fil was torn between what they

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Challenge #02585-G028: The Hand on the Tool

A: This blade, with its razor sharp edge, can cleave through flesh and bone easily. Due to the various materials to make this, no blood or grime will stick to this blade.

B: you know out of context that is scary until you realise it’s a Butcher knife. But the way you hold it and the precision you use it is terrifying. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I derped and did a prompt out of order. Apologies for the inconvenience.]

Cookie continued

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Challenge #02583-G026: Ma Yub

There are two kinds of parents. There's the kind that thinks their children should have the experiences that they had when they were a child, and there's the kind that thinks their children should have something better than that.

The problem with being that second kind, I've found, is that it's hard to give your children something better when you don't really know what that looks like. -- Anon Guest

Bringing up the next generation of cogniscent life is never easy. Certainly,

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Challenge #02582-G025: History is a Pane

I see the words tossed around here and there but I I don’t fully understand the impact of the “shattering” does fragment of humanity wander space, or something comical like everything went ape sh*t the moment humans enter the galactic alliance? -- Anon Guest

Many don't understand what the Shattering is, how long it took, and what it did to Human history. For a start, it's named as if it's one event, but it's actually an era in Terran history.

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Challenge #02580-G023: Just One

Human Bear was sitting on the ramp of his Bodge Job repairing a few new holes on one of the arms of his Live Suit courtesy of a particularly aggressive Predator on the planet they just left. When one of the Crew the creature thought looked like a tasty meal walked into the hanger to express this thanks, Stopped in his tracks at a human not sealed in his Protective Suit. He also noticed a very large very ugly looking scar that

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Challenge #02579-G022: What the Feces?

You’re shit is an insult, you’re the shit is a complement. You’re not shit is a reassurance, and fuck this shit is not related to the previous phrases. -- Anon Guest

Humans don't have to be confusing, but they will frequently do it anyway. Their idioms, axioms, and expressions are many, varied, and assumed to be understood by everyone. This can hold true for some Human words, as well. Enormous papers have been written on the versatility of some

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Challenge #02578-G021: Spoil Them Good

Love me as an equal, and I will pay you back. Exist while I love you SO MUCH, and I will burn entire star systems for your sake. (humans and pets) -- Anon Guest

Humans will pack-bond with anything, though the continually most mind-boggling example of this is Humans and inanimate objects. Second in that esteemed list is the non-cogniscent animals that Humans elect to share their space with and how intensely those creatures are spoiled.

The Humans themselves will put up

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Challenge #02575-G018: Gently, Gently

Two children have been good friends since the time they were in the same daycare together. They grew up as neighbors and even go to a mixed school. One child is a havenworlder, one child is a human. The human child is having a birthday party and has invited their best friend to the party. The parents need to have a long talk so it is fun and safe for all. -- Anon Guest

When you grow up with something, that's what

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Challenge #02574-G017: Art Supplies of Mass Destruction

A havenworlder has a human as a godparent and they love to teach there godchild stuff like survival tips, human pop culture and other things the child's parents would rather them not know. -- Cheshire

Having a godparent, goodparent, or other form of honorary family member is such a Deathworlder concept. Grown Deathworlders are aware of the fragile nature of mortality and have culturally instituted the concept of spare parental figures. This comes in handy for Havenworlders who are, culturally speaking, just

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Challenge #02573-G016: Cultural Exchange Program

Harvest festival, feast time, Thanksgiving, people have a lot of reasons for sitting to celebrate this time of year. A time to give thanks for what one has in their life, to remember what it is they are thankful for. But, for some, it was just a time to put out a feast and be a glutton, and enjoy it! A person had been researching the Vorax, in fact, their entire race, learning their culture and their ways. Learning that the Vorax

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Challenge #02572-G015: Inappropriate Topic

It has been lingering in my mind for a while. Every waking moment it come across my mind. I feel like I’m gonna get my ass beaten if I say it out loud. But why my crew mates look like anthropomorphic animals?!? -- Anon Guest

There are times when it seems like the Universe was made by a lazy creator. The truth might seem stranger than that fiction. Convergent evolution means that beings suitable to a specific gravity and a specific

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Challenge #02570-G013: Happy For Some

Welp since I learn that cursed knowledge I’m dragging y’all down with me with your own curiosity. “Happy tapioca” isn’t all that happy -- Anon Guest

[AN: Urban Dictionary holds all the answers to this mystery and I am positive the average reader does not want to know. Personally, I think it's a waste of perfectly decent pudding, but if it floats your boat, keep it private, thanks.]

When civilisations exist in post-scarcity, the weirdness multiplies. When people can

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