Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01943-E119: It's a Living

Having the tact and sensitivity of a kick in the ass can be considered a disadvantage in nearly any circumstance, mostly when dealing with superior or ambassador. But from time to time it allows you to unfreeze some situation. -- Anon Guest

Sometimes, delicacy and care are needed in a given situation. Sometimes, people need a swift kick in the butt. For the former, there is the entourage. Which contains all the people who know tact and negotiation, and how to 'handle' the person in charge so that the eventual blast zone is reduced or even eliminated. For the latter, there's people like Kevin.

He's not in the entourage. Not precisely. His official position is something like a waiter or, more accurately, plongeur. Someone who's official task is to take in the main dishes, take out the soiled object, take up the discarded things, and definitely take the blame. Unofficially, Kevins job is to look over the plans or paperwork, or task at hand and say things like, "Why does that thing even need that lever?" Or, "What do they want with that planet in the first place."

In other words, to call into realisation the thing that makes everyone in the room want to kick him out of the airlock in sheer frustration. And sometimes, Kevin can say the things that nobody else is allowed to say. Such as when he told the Gropnoothian Ambassador the Unvarnished Truth.

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Challenge #01938-E114: Shark Generosity

Temptation comes in many forms, 30% off for one. -- Knitnan

Sale season was something Shayde was used to happening during the new financial year. Something that this new age didn't have. What they had, instead, was tax season. Which lead to the tax season charity sales. Excess stock that the companies could no longer afford to store, was to be sold at a discount to those who could otherwise not afford it.

Shayde, who could afford anything she liked now-a-days, still

Challenge #01936-E112: Recurring Pathology

You finally decide to re-arrange or clean up an area and find stuff. -- Knitnan

"This is not a collection," said Rael. "This is a hoard."

Eyah sighed. "Yeah. I might have a problem."

Rael leveled a ersatz-telepathic Look at his fellow Faiize. It said, You may have made the biggest understatement since some alleged genius claimed that black holes are 'a bit heavy'.

"Okay. Yes. I have a problem. I can not stay away from glittery objects. I mean... I have

Challenge #01933-E109: Once Upon an Adventure

We 'narrative apes', don't just tell stories, we play games to pass the time. -- Knitnan

Humans are an inventive lot. They invented inspired desperation as a survival instinct. They invented fiction to make their lives more interesting. They're one of the few cogniscent species and the only known Deathworlders to have boredom. They can multitask, and some of them can multitask, apparently, faster than light. Some are capable of multitasking with mind-boggling precision. Others can't remember what they were doing two

Challenge #01932-E108: Cute, Fluffy, Dangerous

It looks adorable, acts so very cute, and even smells attractive. Don't go near it with barge pole. There's got to be some huge catch. -- Anon Guest

Humans are bizarre. At any given moment, they will attempt to tame and then ride any beast bigger than one of their domestic canids[1]. They will coo over and attempt to pet any given venomous or aggressive creature. But it was on the planetary system WEP969HU84I, nicknamed Planet Cutiekiller, that another aspect of

Challenge #01930-E106: Deathworlder Rituals

You can’t not look at explosions. -- TheDragonsFlame

There were warning signs up surrounding Unsuitable Food Eat. Humans celebrating inside. Small, harmless explosions expected. Fireworks warning. And a pictogram of sparks and explosions with an alert sign. Even the newest of Havenworlders to the Galactic Alliance learned that Humans liked to celebrate with sparking fireworks, loud noises, and shocking expulsions of streamers, as well as other loud noises.

And inside, was a typical Human party. Loud people. Loud accessories. Loud clothing.

Challenge #01929-E105: Wrong Hostages!

You’d be surprised at how much stuff you can screw up with 24 hours, the proper motivation, and a screwdriver. -- TheDragonsFlame

Rael glared at the human in his company. "Do you mean literally, as in fasten, or figuratively, as in ruin?"

A devilish grin. "Ruin," said Shayde, already digging into her extradimensional pockets. Not even dragging their contents out into what passed for the light. Finding what she wanted by feel. One tool emerged. A relatively small swiss army knife.

Challenge #01928-E104: Tag, You're Undead!

The homo genus utilized the persistence hunt as one of its primitive hunting strategies. The homo genus, including homo sapiens, is remarkably well suited for this. We are relatively hairless for mammals (it's actually just much thinner than most mammals' hair), bipedal, sweat over-actively, and our legs (from the soles of the feet to the connection at the hip joint) are very well suited to distance running.

With that said ... I just learned that a few Kenyan villagers ran down a cheetah

Challenge #01926-E102: Science Fiction, Double Feature

Let's hear it for all those cheesy Z grade movie monsters. -- Anon Guest

Shayde had started another side business. The facade declared it to be Armpit Theatre Entertainment. And a placard on one of the windows proudly proclaimed, We show the worst that humanity has to offer! Closer inspection revealed a subtitle to that which read, Yelling at the screen is encouraged if you are funny.

Was this one of her jokes on the rest of civilisation? Or was she making

Challenge #01925-E101: Tragedy Tomorrow

Today's program consists of the Men's choirs, Poetry reading, original, Poetry reading from one of the set poems, and children's dance. (See The Goodies, "Eisteddfod from the Welsh. Eistedd, bored. Fod, stiff.") -- Anon Guest

Colony worlds, once cut off from their progenitor planet, have to deal with what they've got. B'Nar took everything nerd-related with them owing to the fact that it was settled by genetic engineering companies and their nerdy, nerdy staff. And their equally nerdy families. The assembled Greater

Challenge #01924-E100: A Tisket, A Tasket...

Coracle. Ancient form of water transport made out of sticks, cow hide* and waterproofing. *any firm waterproof material will do. -- Anon Guest

The human was messing around with the local vegetation again. They had already taken some fallen wood and whittled two paddles, and now they were making a positively enormous basket out of the long, bendy reeds that had once been growing by this lake.

"Is this a temporary shelter?" asked Thok.

"Nope," said Human Grif. Still lashing things together

Challenge #01923-E099: They Call Her Queen Badass

"How in the world could a single bottle of alcohol render nearly a dozen of Her Ancient Majesty's finest - oh, and the Millennial Queen Herself! - to nothing but a scattered roomful of unconscious drunks?!"

The taller woman examined the elaborately-decorated crystalline decanter, and then the glasses around each snoring soldier. "Hmm... yeah... I'd say fourteen-thousand-year-old firewine would probably do the trick better than anything..." She paused, re-counting one pile of glasses and then looked back at her partner with a

Challenge #01921-E097: One Tension-rich Moment During an Ambassadorial Introduction Party

Your annual festival of re-birth is celebrated by eggs laid by a rabbit! -- Anon Guest

"With," corrected Shayde. "It's celebrated with eggs that're hidden by a rabbit. Yer pretty close though. Gold star fer tryin'."

Behind her, just out of restraining reach, Rael breathed out. The confused statement of brand-new Ambassador G'thox were not, in fact, fighting words. If they had come out of someone trying to start a fight, it might have been a different story.

Shayde had over-the-horizon radar

Challenge #01920-E096: Cometh the Postman

Humans are social creatures. Even the solitary ones. - MolluscsAndMonsters

Humans like me have a saying: No man is an island. Or words to that effect. And... they're right. Even antisocial assholes like me need to brush shoulders with other cogniscents now and again.

But that's why I have the mail run to the cul-de-sac strings. You get wormhole chains like those. Places where it's ten or more jumps to any nexus, anywhere, and the places along the trip are the places

Challenge #01917-E093: Deploy E.C.O.

"Welcome to the first cross-species special forces. You were selected because you are the best of the best in your domain. Now, you will all learn how to efficiently subdue or kill a foe, how to infiltrate a place heavily guarded and how to secure civilians that were hostages. But most importantly, you'll learn that your most important tool isn't your service weapon or a multi-tool knife. Your most important piece of equipment will be this plushy. Because there will always be

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A 2271-post collection

Challenge #01943-E119: It's a Living

Challenge #01938-E114: Shark Generosity

Challenge #01936-E112: Recurring Pathology

Challenge #01933-E109: Once Upon an Adventure

Challenge #01932-E108: Cute, Fluffy, Dangerous

Challenge #01930-E106: Deathworlder Rituals

Challenge #01929-E105: Wrong Hostages!

Challenge #01928-E104: Tag, You're Undead!

Challenge #01926-E102: Science Fiction, Double Feature

Challenge #01925-E101: Tragedy Tomorrow

Challenge #01924-E100: A Tisket, A Tasket...

Challenge #01923-E099: They Call Her Queen Badass

Challenge #01921-E097: One Tension-rich Moment During an Ambassadorial Introduction Party

Challenge #01920-E096: Cometh the Postman

Challenge #01917-E093: Deploy E.C.O.