Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01079-B347: Epic Levels of Pettiness

Inspired by Gallafreya's prompt. Magical entity turns up to claim child, only to be told, snarkily. "We had twins! You can have that one, it's only a girl. We, of course will keep our firstborn son for ourselves. 18 years later the results. -- Knitnan

When the wicked witch came for the child, the Prince and Princess had what they thought was a happy solution.

"We had twins," beamed the girl who had bargained a life for magic. "We'll keep the son and heir and you can take the other one."

"It's only a girl," dismissed the Prince. "Of little import to the crown."

The words burned her, though she did not flinch. And as she lifted the babe, she gave the infant the best blessing she could think of.

"You will always be more than people think you are." And she took the baby away.

The Prince and Princess eventually became King and Queen. They shed no tears for their lost daughter. Merely rejoiced in their sons. But this is not their story.

The witch named the new baby Belladonna, and knew that it was a poison. She told the girl her story just as soon as she could understand it. And while she grew, Belladonna learned.

She learned Glamour from the Faeries. She learned of herbs from the Dryads. Water magic from the Merfolk, light magic and deception from the Whisps. She learned of fire and resilience from the Dragons. And even learned how to learn from a wise old frog in a bog.

Everywhere the witch would wander, Belladonna followed. And Belladonna learned. She took in all the stories that those she met would tell. She saw the pattern of the way things were. Reasoned that she could pull a thread and make the cloth of life into the way that things could be.

And, when she came of age, Belladonna had a plan.

She took all her magic together, and wove a charm on a single jut of bedrock that was well away from everything. Everything that was unloved and unwanted would come there. And she would build from it.

From the tailings of dwarven mining, she used Dragon fire to make a new stone she called Spurnrock. It was stronger than any stone made by nature, and Belladonna built a new keep out of it. A new castle. A new city.

The unwanted came in hordes. Many of them girls. The orphans, the abandoned. The third sons, the failures, and those who were told again and again that they were stupid.

Belladonna taught them all. Gave them a home and a trade. Gave their hands things they could do. And her city grew. Peasants and serfs and paupers. Beggars and highwaymen. All those shunned by the elite came to her. And were given new lives.

They could leave if they wanted. But none of them wanted to.

Finally the courtiers of the world realised that, while it may be nice to earn land, it was useless without the people tending it. They had no clean clothes. No new clothes. No food to feast upon and, most importantly, no taxes to fund themselves with.

Belladonna knew her parents, just as well as she knew her brother on sight. They came on their knees before her and begged her for her largesse.

"You valued me not a jot. You shed no tear for my absence from your cradle," she said. "I was only a girl, after all. Now I am become Queen of the Onlies. My realm is all that you never valued. Would you exchange me for your son? Trade that which you value most for that which you valued least?"

Her brother cried out that this was unfair. Her parents cried that they would, they would, only please forgive them their thoughtlessness and give them their peasants back. And her brother cried anew at this betrayal.

Belladonna appeared to think on the bargain, knowing that her adoptive mother the witch would be laughing her curly shoes off at the sight. "You know what? I don't really want what you have to offer. Go grow your own food, and see how valuable it is, then. Tell your son to go wandering as a pauper, and see if only a girl will have cause to love him as he is. And if you learn anything at all, come back and tell me of it. You have a year and a day. Fare well."

Nobody would forget for seven times one hundred years, that even the lowest of the low had their proper value to a King or a Queen.

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I'm taking a day or two

Weekends are the perfect days for Selfish Days. And I kind of need a Selfish Day or two because I've been skipping out on looking after myself.

Stressing out about shit that needs to get done only results in me going into a spiral and not getting anything done at all. And much though I'd love someone to just come in and take care of the stressful stuff for me... I have to do it and being Clear will be a big

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 18]

Chapter Eighteen.
(Rumours abound, An abhorrent abundance of sandwiches, Camping by the bell, and The persistence of exhaustion)

Iris didn't see it happen, but a thousand different rumours hurtled about the manor. Everyone knew that Colonel Walter had retreated to his lab, but word had it that the Admiral had gone up to shout him down. It was the first time that the Colonel had ignored the riding cane.

It shattered across his back, they said.

Then the Admiral attempted to use

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Challenge #01078-B346: A Miracle by the Riverside

We have a saying, "They're not dead 'til they're warm and dead" -- Gallifreya

Lizards watched in alarm as the humans pulled the child out of the freezing water. Limp and lifeless, the sad scrap of a life seemed beyond salvage. And yet...

The humans around the baby were working tirelessly to instil life into the apparently lifeless. They stripped off wet clothes. Wrapped the tiny body in foil and applied heating blankets. Warmed up bags of saline to plumb into the

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Welp. Gotta do it today

I never got the message from Officeworks about the books, so I have to chase them down about it today. I gotta get lunchboxes, pay bills, and plan the laying-in-of-supplies.

Thank goodness I now know a place where I can get poppas and snacks by the crate.

I gotta get myself into enough gear to cook meals again. These last few weeks have been heat-and-eat when they haven't been purchase-and-gorge. Beloved's been enormously helpful, but they can't cook for me forever.

Nibbling

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 17]

Chapter Seventeen.
(Becile strikes! Delilah’s impending demise, The one thing he can do, and It wouldn’t be fair)

Peter stared at the words on the telegram.

Becile caused much damage to Cavalcadium with mechanical elephant and sonic weapon. Moreau injured and deathly ill. May not survive the night.

One of their mutual friends had sent it, but Peter could not read as far as that name. He kept reading the final two sentences over and over again. Hoping against hope

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Challenge #01077-B345: Urban Swashbuckler

Out for a walk and carrying a golf umbrella, walker is attacked by nesting birds. Falls into temptation from watching Far Too Many Fantasy Shows. Opening line. "Beware foul fiends for I am the greatest blade you'll ever meet!" And there are bystanders. Have fun! -- Knitnan

There are several ways to carry an umbrella in modern society, and none of them worked for Latora. There was always one convenience after another that made all the traditional methods a problem. Which was

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Changes and PLNs

I shaved my head, today. I just couldn't stand another minute of having swampy hair in the humid atmosphere of a Queensland Summer. Most of the stubble is my natural hair colour. Weird little patches, here and there, are the bright orange that I used to sport.

No longer. A deep, violent red is cheaper by the job lot, so that's going to be my new hue until such time as something cheaper comes along.

I may have to pay someone to

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 16]

Chapter Sixteen.
(A worried automaton, Ma helps out, Pleased Pappy, and The humans also leak)

The Spine knew somehow that he was failing at everything. Rabbit was already the strongest and the fastest at learning. Rabbit never worried about breaking things. In fact, his copper sibling had to be actively discouraged from breaking things.

Rabbit liked the interesting sounds, and thought they were funny.

So when Ma came to show The Spine something to help him, he naturally thought that it was

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Challenge #01076-B344: An Unsettling Necessity

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS NECROMANCERS! YAAAY! -- Gallifreya

[AN: This prompt was NEARLY spoiled by the CMC getting their Cutie Marks. Almost]

Mayor Mare had let them use an abandoned shop as their Cutie Mark Crusader headquarters. Now that there was help for ponies who wanted to get or understand their marks, there was business.

And very rarely, it came from parents worried about their foals.

Gloomy Doom was a black filly with an equally dark mane. She was one of the few

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Summer's back

Beautiful sunny day plus sweltering humidity equals I really should have gone on my walk nearer to dawn.

Oof.

I'm sweating up a storm, my hair is a swamp, and today's walk reduced my personal batteries to the red zone.

All I can focus on is what I need and what I currently can't afford because no spare money.

I need orthopaedic sandals made for plantar fasciatus, because my feet are getting beyond swampy, too. Also I need footwear just to be

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 15]

Chapter Fifteen.
(Delilah’s influence, Their first show, Steak on display, and A solution for a problem)

Iris managed to spot the fabled Doctor Delilah Moreau in just as many seconds as Colonel Walter did. And instantly felt small, common, and invisible. Any woman standing beside Delilah Moreau would instantly look like a scarecrow.

Even she fell a little in love with her. She knew she was starstruck with instant infatuation. Iris made herself examine the woman beyond her outward appearance. And

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Challenge #01075-B343: Ah, My Old Enemy...

"A robot who encounters a problem, attempts to find the solution, makes it worse, and then continues attempting to fix it until their programmer arrives to find them banging shit together and swearing"

from http://cnvvj.tumblr.com/post/134743888161/ryttu3k-audacityinblack-durpacerangerrogjro -- Anon Guest

"Th-this is just stage one," murmured Alphys. "A test."

It looked like a brick with buttons and dials and -yes- a big LED readout for a face.

"I-I-I'll be adding f-features, later. Like. L-l-legs..."

Metta slid into the

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This time for sure

All my gassing yesterday came to exactly nowt. The doctor's phone was engaged. I ran out of both impetus and spoons to go do the book thing. And the floor never got swept.

Blargh.

BUT... I did get more nibbling done. And I have to re-nibble the kitchen countertop before encouraging some of my family to help clear off the fridge-top because the stuff up there is bad.

No more hoarding egg cartons. Nobody wants them any more. Best to recycle them

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Iris and Peter Get Married (Eventually) [pt 14]

Chapter Fourteen.
(To the Cavalcadium, The invisible Iris, Very good friends, and The beginning of the show)

Thursday.

Colonel Walter, sporting some of the new self-adhesive bandages, was eager to display his twin automatons to the world. And, of course, to a very special audience consisting of Miss Doctor Delilah Moreau.

He had taken every care with his appearance, today. Freshly bathed and shaven. Made liberal use of pomade. Even applied a little subtle makeup to his lingering bruises. All so that

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