InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12667 posts

I need a Paypal Donate button

::Strums off-key guitar like I know what I'm doing but I clearly do not:: Yeah, got the, outta money for four days, can't do jack about it bluuuuuuuuueeeeeeees... (Ga-thunk, ga-thunk, ga-thunk, abowm-bowm...)

Don't worry, dear readers. We have enough stores to weather the thin patch. It's going to be a can of arseholes and a sack of armpits to deal with, but... we've dealt with worse.

Try being out of cash for a week, sometime.

Sigh. Times are tough.

I need new pants, the cat has a cut above her eye that needs stitches, Chaos needs some super-expensive gear that you can't even rent and try to help her not pour herself over everyone and their kid brother's dog... the super-expensive help she's already getting is going to firkin dry up at the end of the year...

My car needs fuel and I can't pay for it because I had to buy the reserve car some fuel... but that's the kind of problem that encapsulates its own solution. Gonna pinch the reserve car when I absolutely, positively need it and then nick off for fuel for my car when we actually have money.

There's only so long I can last without Steam Powered Giraffe soothing my anxieties on the road.

IF I knew how to code and IF I knew how to make it a can't-get-rid-of-the-fucker feature, I would have a "Support this artist and donate!" button nice and prominent in the upper left corner. Minimum donation, one dollar.

Then five dollars, ten, twenty, fifty and one hundred option buttons. And, of course, a choose-your-own donation option for the really high rollers. [For $100 I will write up a little thing about whatever thing you're doing online and link directly to it, thus upping your Google search score]

Gimmie $5000 and I will write you anything you like. Just for you. Seriously. I will drop my current project just to work on your thing. [Though I draw the line at incest and pedo fic. That's just disgusting] Just please keep in mind that anything over 500 words a day tends to ruin my wrists and I will probably bug you for details if I'm unfamiliar with the source material. [And, as a side bonus, I will also give you access to the WIP so you can check it for details. Either by Google Docs or Novl'r. Buyer's choice.]

File that under Caveat Emptor.

The economy as it stands can not support a single-income household, any more. I currently lack the skills or sense to have a "real job" and doing service sector work with low spoons is going to be an entire truckload of both armpits and arseholes.

Yeah. My options are limited. My money, doubly so. Beloved is working on what could be a killer app IF they could get time aside from fortifying their day job against an oncoming rush season.

Life kinda sucks for me and it's not fair. And I'm sorry for whining about it to you. If you've read this far... you can paypal a donation to nutty@internutter.org and thank you for whatever you can give.

Challenge #00988-B257: The Power of the Pointer

http://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/128930273519/i-have-reason-to-believe-that-this-lizard-has

I have reason to believe that this lizard has acquired artillery. -- Anon Guest

Bullets splashed against the walls, just above their current shelter of a piece of their ship's ablative shielding. "Really?" said Hwell. "What was your first hint?" He flinched against the shower of shrapnel.

"I think it was when Gerih got shot in the leg. All wounds sustained thus far have been non-fatal."

Hwell rolled his eyes. Rhytidops were famously immune to

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Curses...

Okay so my own system has up and decided to lock me out. None of my passwords work at the mome. And if I can't log in to NodeBB, then I can't add comment abilities to my stories.

Ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu....

Patience, my dear readers. You will be able to comment again soon. Not that anyone has as of yet... Ah well.

This is going to take a bit of a while. I'm sorry.

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Challenge #00987-B256: A Question of Choice

http://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/129256209619/yet-another-reason-to-not-have-children-you-dont

“Yet another reason to not have children: You don’t want the batspider to visit you.” -- Anon Guest

"Bat... spider," repeated Hero. "I've never heard of the like. Is it a bat with spider legs, or a spider with bat wings?"

"It's like a Drider, but with the body, wings and head of a bat, 'stead of a drow," said the villager. "It takes all but one in ten of our children an' our

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I'd say TGIF, but...

Fridays are my busy day. And on top of that, Mayhem now has Home Ec on Fridays so that includes a potentially budget-busting round of every parental's favourite game, What Do You Need For School Now?

I used it as an excuse to get Mayhem some First House stuff on the side. Dollar shops are an amazing source of cheap kitchen shit with a moderate amount of actual quality.

That said, never buy dollar shop tongs. Just... don't. Those fuckers will break

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Challenge #00986-B255: What is 'Light'?

http://chaoswolf1982.tumblr.com/post/129369751472/roachpatrol-gutterowl-roachpatrol

The continuing adventures of a human with a bunch of mole/bat people. As seen by the mole/bat people.

[NB - notify ChaosWolf1982 and ManyBlinkingLights]

[AN: I prompted myself because this was too good to pass up.]

Captain's Log, Galactic Standard Calendar 58430.03.2.05...[1]

In the spirit of further understanding between species, we are welcoming aboard a new crewmember. One of the Deathworlder species called 'humans'...

The airlock hissed. Captain K'rik

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Bargains! Bargains! Bargains!

I got $50 birthday money to spend irresponsibly, yesterday.

So of fucking course this morning, I made a beeline for the places that sell iTunes cards. I wanted an entire $50 card, not one in instalments.

And I'm kinda glad I did, because Target sold me a $50 card for $40 :D

I feel like a massive thief, now. But I'm still loving it.

And I still have $10 to spend irresponsibly.

I wonder if I can put a deposit on Steamworld

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Challenge #00985-B254: One Skull-cracking Morning in a N'Ozzie Holding Cell

What the Bleep! am I doing with a traffic cone, a black lace thong and a feather boa?

Two things were certain to Hwell. One: the light hurt. Two: it must have been one hell of a night, last night.

"You understand that I only call him my 'business partner' because it is forbidden to label cogniscents as 'lucky pets'." That had to be Ax'and'l. Urgently distancing himself from Hwell's previous revelry and subsequent swathe of damage.

If, however, the swathe of

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Random reasons to love Steam Powered Giraffe #11

David's Vines.

Vine is the video clip equivalent of Twitter, and trust me, it's an art form. Users have six seconds to tell a story and some of them are pure genius.

[It's my first time embedding vines, so stand by...]

All three of these are fandom classics, but there are tons more. You can check out his Vine artistry here. Trust me, it's worth the trip.

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Challenge #00984-B253: Party Zone, Fun City.

Party zone, fun city, playtime for (so called adults). You can concentrate on either the goings on or the consequences. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Hope you don't mind, but I fixed the obvious typos]

You could call it a fun park, but it was closer to being an entire metropolis at this stage. They called it Fun City, and it contained every kind of enjoyment there was for an adult to indulge in.

There was the Spa Quarter, the Movies District, Shotgun

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Fuck today in particular

Okay, so here's everything that's gone wrong so far...

My phone got pocket-dialled onto Silent mode so I didn't hear the alarm letting me know it was time to hustle the kids off to school.

I got notified about this when Chaos' bus people called and asked what was going on. We were an entire hour late.

PANIC MODE.

Hustle the kids and their gear into the car at warp nine. Spend three minutes trying to start it. The fucking thing's broken

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Challenge #00983-B252: A Need Like Breath

A story about Medjed http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/interest/2015-07-31/the-obscure-egyptian-god-medjed-and-his-bizarre-afterlife-on-the-japanese-internet/.91149 -- Anon Guest

What a thing is life, for a god.

Belief is food and air. Believers, feeling and form. Love... O my children, love is what a god needs above all other things. You could call it 'drug'... but such as I prefer 'blood'.

Without love... gods fade.

In my first time of glory, I was not well known. I barely appeared at all on walls or scrolls. The

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I've been thinking about Wonder Woman...

Primarily that she doesn't get the love she plainly deserves. She gets none of her rich history explored and definitely doesn't get her godhood acknowledged.

I have yet to see how she's going on the screen in Batman V Superman but I'm willing to bet they're going to get it all wrong.

And let's face it. The last attempt at a television series with her failed abominably, and I know why. They gave her the Batman treatment.

If I was doing Wonder

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Challenge #00982-B251: Abandon Hope, Ye Who Enter...

That same prompt from Challenge #00891-B160, but this time the FAQ is posted for the benefit of assassins, on an Overlord's (Evil or not, your choice) office/chambers. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: That prompt read: FAQ Assassins
- Business hours are 9:00 to 5:30 - Please deposit last will and testament in box below - Knock and remove shoes before entering]

They said Lord Mavolo's temper was legendary, but this... innocent-looking little plaque... It made Goodie Dowser think twice about her

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Happy birthday to me

This is the third year I've given away a story on my birthday for free. I have quite the stable of free tales but this is more introspective than most.

When you look at society, really look at society, you discover a great deal of unfairness based entirely on things an individual can not help.

Skin tone - society judges you within thirteen seconds and that prejudice remains. The darker your skin, the more threatening you are to paler people.
Genitals -

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