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InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12167 posts

Challenge #01167-C072: That Darned Charisma

https://mythjae.wordpress.com/2016/01/28/fated-3/

(it's a comic, scroll down) -- Gallifreya

[AN: I actually have something similar happen in my current WIP and we all know how real D&D players would handle this, sooo...]

"Welp. I now have a reformed evil spouse, I guess..." Kevin sighed. "Since there's little risk of progeny, I can take him with me as a lovestruck NPC, right?"

"Uh... yeah. Actually."

"Character sheet."

"What?"

"Gimmie the character sheet. I need to know how to play him."

"Aw shit." Tammy extracted a blank from one of her folders and started scratching in stats. "Some of this is going to be pure bullshittium... knock off points for alignment change... Uh... natural skills... Shit. This guy is now such a Gary Stu..."

"Give me the character sheet," chanted Kevin.

"You ran this campaign, you have to put up with the consequences," chirped Aaliya.

"I know, I know..." Tammy chewed on her pencil. "Yeah, that's about it. Keep in mind that the two of you get an automatic Charisma drop in areas that despise Orcs... and the Citadel of Pure Light is probably going to be debating about this for campaign-months."

"Business as usual," sighed Kim, he played the Rogue. "Those poindexters in the ivory towers have no idea what the average adventurer goes through."

"Mm-hm," muttered Tammy, making notes in another notebook.

"That's going to bite me in the ass, later, isn't it?" asked Kim.

"So hard that it might as well be your catch-phrase," grinned Tammy.

*

Several campaigns later...

"And apply the boost from the loving Orcish massage I got last night, hur hur..."

The entire table groaned. Two out of three players rolled their eyes.

"Yes, but you're vulnerable in the butt," said Tammy. She rolled. "Oh... kay. Roll to save from jealousy."

"What?"

"The vampire queen just rolled a natural one and it looks like she's trying to seduce you."

"Oh fuck," said Kevin. "I try to resist her charms..." one. "Throzar..." roll... "becomes enraged by her wiles and attacks..." one. "Oh fuck me!"

A chant began at the table. "Three-some! Three-some! Three-some!"

Tammy rolled behind her DM shield. "Oh, this is not gonna be good..." She moved the shield to show the one.

"Three cheers for polyamory," chirped Kim. "Hip hip... HUZZAH!"

(Muse food remaining: 36. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Inertia is fun

It's almost 9 and I still haven't done anything productive. I have plans to see Deadpool and plans to see The Wonder Woman Movie er... Quasi-Homo-Erotic Posturing no. Wait. I got this. Batman vs Superman.

There we go.

Anyways, I have something of a personal mission to see all the grimdark and potentially nasty stuff I want to see but usually can't, before the kids come back from Scenic Coominya. And only so much money to see us through until next payday.

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Challenge #01166-C071: How to Calm an Overstimulated Ambassador

"Settle down. Pull up a highness." -- Gallifreya

It had been an exciting day for Frisk. More excitement than their small body could hold. And so it sloshed out of them in the form of bubbling giggles and jittery dancing and jumping and buzzing hands.

Important people were slowly learning to negotiate with the Ambassador for Monsterkind before laying on the entertainment and treats. And this lot had yet to learn that very important lesson.

Frisk could not, yet, stop. They had

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Discoveries and developments

I took my first walk in a fortnight, this morning. My feet hate me as a direct consequence. I have to go shopping, but at least I have money to pay for shit.

I shall make a list of the things we need and the things we want and then attempt to get them as cheaply as I can.

And a good friend recommended Mark Reads and I have found there the most adorable cinnamon roll on Youtube. He reads books out

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Challenge #01164-C069: Aftertales

1) Sans losing control of his powers when Toriel kisses him - at least the first time. Nothing drastic, but he might send his mug or pie shooting across the room, or literally float off the ground in a daze. A tiny Gaster skull appears and its mouth sags open as it gently drifts to the ground with hearts in its eyes.

Does Toriel know about his power levels? She might now.

2) Has anyone ever seen anything where someone pretends to

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Challenge #01163-C068: With Cat-like Tread

http://scienceisadesiretoknow.tumblr.com/post/139059138214 -- Gallifreya

The humans had one question when they were invited to display some of their culture for the Numidid in Kal'rike. It was: "How much pyrotechnics are we allowed to use?"

After some research into what pyrotechnics actually were, the answer was, "None, please."

Their letter of acknowledgement and compliance read as more than a little disappointed, but they were showing a willingness to please.

Deathworlders in the capital!

The arena where they were displaying

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Challenge #01162-C067: Ready For Inspection

T'reka (or another of her species) meets a Helmeted Guineafowl -- Gallifreya

The thing about Terrans, when one got down to it, was their fanaticism for introducing things. Some of them, inherently hazardous. Some of them, frankly insane. And some, K'iival found out, previously extinct.

As manager of the Integration Board, she had to inspect and begin the process of clearing Terran species for use or contact with her fellow Numidid in Kal'rike and it's growing satellite settlements.

Some were inherently useful,

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CHOKLIT DAY!

...I might have an intense relationship with chocolate...

The sky might also be blue, and water may be wet.

Miss Chaos, the most enthusiastic person in the house about chocolate day, stayed up until around eleven and is now completely conked out. She shall doubtless spend her every waking hour nomming on eggs and bunnies.

I have to ration myself. Boo.

My attempt to bribe Mayhem with albums failed, so I just gave him the other two. Sigh. Motivating that lad is

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Challenge #01161-C066: Unemployable

:Interview transcript segment:

Interviewee: Why am I the right fit for this job? Well, I'm not sure I'm the right fit for ANY job. I was at a cheap store, and there was this cheesy 'magic wand' lying there. It was out of its wrapper, and I was feeling silly, so I picked it up and said some nonsense. NOW look at me!

:Interviewee appears to be no longer human. Has antennae, three large multifaceted eyes spread equidistant around their head, a

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Chocolate-day eve

It's going to be a real fun chocolate day because it co-incides with mum-in-law's birthday and I don't know if we got her anything. I know what she wants, I just don't know if (a) I can afford it and (b) if we can get it in time.

Squeaky bum time, folks.

I found another $2 coin, so there's a chance I could afford the thing of her dreams. Gain some brownie points and maybe trade those for her good favour when

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Challenge #01160-C065: Weird is Universal

A person is the only member of their species in a group, so a lot of their behaviour is passed off as "must be a (species) thing."

Then they meet up with the others and it turns out no, none of them do that, it's a Dave thing. -- Gallifreya

In the interests of diplomacy, crews from various species' crew have been shared out into other species' vessels. I think the Galactic Alliance is trying to engender familiarity with others as a

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Climbing back up...

My mood's improved a lot. Yay. I'm not back up to 'normal', but I can feel I'm close.

Snuggle time and bubble time should help. And since it's a public holiday, I like my chances.

The general theism behind today says I shouldn't be working? I think? But I have a work schedule and the Powers once indicated I should be writing. Hint: never ask the Powers for a clear and undeniable sign. You WILL get one.

For the record - they're

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Challenge #01159-C064: Not-so-Vital Information

Is there a species in the galactic community large enough to hold a human like a hamster? -- Gallifreya

Taken from the Wikipedia Galactica under the heading of Illogical Questions Asked About Humans...

A: Short form answer: usually not.

Long form answer:

Cogniscents in the Galactic Alliance vary in dimensions and mass. For organic cogniscents, the mass is usually between eight and five hundred Standard Weight Units. There are a few exceptions [see file: Hive Minds] but giants are solely in the

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Erastide Eve

It's the Thursday before Good Friday and we still haven't got ourselves any hot cross buns. I haven't looked at my bank account, either, because I suspect it's heinous how little we have.

On the plus side - semi-religious observances for four days means we won't be doing shit until payday.

And then - I shall negotiate at least dragging Chaos out to the cinemas to watch Zootopia. Because I want to see it.

I suspect I missed the boat on Deadpool

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Challenge #01158-C063: Saint Kurt of the Mutants

One Kurt Wagner, he of the lifelong fear of growing horns, eventually notices the gradually brightening heavenly glow around his head -- Gallifreya

He was half-asleep when the realisation came. Stumbling about in the pre-dawn gloom and not in a state of mind to question anything, Kurt took his shower and was brushing his teeth when he idly wondered what was wrong with the lights.

And then he realised that he hadn't turned them on.

He looked at his reflection in the

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