(it's a comic, scroll down) -- Gallifreya
[AN: I actually have something similar happen in my current WIP and we all know how real D&D players would handle this, sooo...]
"Welp. I now have a reformed evil spouse, I guess..." Kevin sighed. "Since there's little risk of progeny, I can take him with me as a lovestruck NPC, right?"
"Uh... yeah. Actually."
"Gimmie the character sheet. I need to know how to play him."
"Aw shit." Tammy extracted a blank from one of her folders and started scratching in stats. "Some of this is going to be pure bullshittium... knock off points for alignment change... Uh... natural skills... Shit. This guy is now such a Gary Stu..."
"Give me the character sheet," chanted Kevin.
"You ran this campaign, you have to put up with the consequences," chirped Aaliya.
"I know, I know..." Tammy chewed on her pencil. "Yeah, that's about it. Keep in mind that the two of you get an automatic Charisma drop in areas that despise Orcs... and the Citadel of Pure Light is probably going to be debating about this for campaign-months."
"Business as usual," sighed Kim, he played the Rogue. "Those poindexters in the ivory towers have no idea what the average adventurer goes through."
"Mm-hm," muttered Tammy, making notes in another notebook.
"That's going to bite me in the ass, later, isn't it?" asked Kim.
"So hard that it might as well be your catch-phrase," grinned Tammy.
Several campaigns later...
"And apply the boost from the loving Orcish massage I got last night, hur hur..."
The entire table groaned. Two out of three players rolled their eyes.
"Yes, but you're vulnerable in the butt," said Tammy. She rolled. "Oh... kay. Roll to save from jealousy."
"The vampire queen just rolled a natural one and it looks like she's trying to seduce you."
"Oh fuck," said Kevin. "I try to resist her charms..." one. "Throzar..." roll... "becomes enraged by her wiles and attacks..." one. "Oh fuck me!"
A chant began at the table. "Three-some! Three-some! Three-some!"
Tammy rolled behind her DM shield. "Oh, this is not gonna be good..." She moved the shield to show the one.
"Three cheers for polyamory," chirped Kim. "Hip hip... HUZZAH!"