InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12165 posts

It's raining findings!

There's a definite difference between buying in person and buying online. And it could be solved with ONE solution.

An adult human hand.

Not everyone understands centimetres. Not everyone expects centimetres to pop up on a findings site where your average measurement is in millimetres.

So I've wound up with nonse like this:

[Shown here, a "feather" finding that overflows my palm]

[Shown here, a "leaf" finding as long as my pinkie finger]

The human hand is a universal indicator of scale. And if your thing is too small for a hand, a fingernail will do. Thumb, index, or pinkie are easily distinguishable. And if you're not sure, tell folks which finger they're looking at.

I'm willing to bet money that folks have figured out exactly what size cabochons I need to fill those blanks, just by looking at the pictures above.

I needn't worry about the "leaf" too hard. If someone wants a sparkly gemstone on it, I'll give them that option. The dollar shops are full of tiny shiny things if you know where to look.

But today, my focus is on cake!

Chaos' birthday party is tomorrow, and it's the best time to obtain something gloriously sinful from the Cheesecake Shop. We'll also be getting some party noms from assorted, cheaper party nom places.

Now I have to write a story for you all, do Chaos' hair, fetch a third parcel from the post office, and THEN get some cake.

Challenge #01215-C120: Silver Spoon, Muck Manners

Just a moment. I have a multitude of extravagant ways of saying "no" to this, and I need to decide on one. -- RecklessPrudence

It had been the third time that this particularly unpleasant example had decided to interrupt an otherwise pleasant conversation. "No" was not in his vocabulary. Neither was "No, thank you." Both of those simple statements had been ignored.

So Lutetia said, "Just a moment. I have a multitude of extravagant ways of saying "no" to this, and I

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Busy Times

The weather is changing and I can literally feel it. The usual low pressure system warning has clung to my head in a band formation. Meaning that I ache across both eye sockets, my teeth, and the nape of my neck.

The chill turn of the weather doesn't help, either.

Something else has come by my mailbox, but I have to go and collect it locally. Which implies that it was too big to jam into the mailbox. Which, in turn, has

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Challenge #01214-C119: Don't Send Me an Angel

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/142561344474/what-do-angels-actually-look-like-per-the-bible

Angel: “FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming

Angel: “I SAID FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming LOUDER

Angel: “WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?” -- Gallifreya

[AN: The link supplied contains images that might be disturbing to those who don't read biblical accounts of what angels look like]

From the Expurgated Gospel of Tebol the Shepherd:

And the Lord sent an Angel unto Tebol, and the Angel had unto itself twelve wings, half of them like

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My calendar is full

Driving to and from Tullagawupwup. 3AM wake-up against my will. A dire need for coffee and a dire need for air.

And one of my nineteen parcels arrived, but it wasn't any of the ones that I can confirm as being in Sydney.

Evidently, Aus!Customs has no qualms about a quarter cup's worth of glass shrapnel seed beads. I kid, of course. I'm not going through all this shit just so some forensics mook can dig it out of the scenery.

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Challenge #01213-C118: Talking it Out

Therapy ghosts! -- Gallifreya

[AN: This prompt harkens back to the second half of story #01176, Free Spirits. But you know I'm not going to go further with that one]

Someone was in his usual hiding spot. One of the more corporeal monsters. A skeleton. A tiny little kid. And they were crying to themself.

Happstablook remained invisible as he crept closer. This kid was crying. Not the loud crying that demanded attention, but the silent kind that would not go away,

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Secondary skills

In the words of Odo when Quark questioned his interest in funerary rituals, "Everybody needs a hobby." It didn't come in to the Hevun's Child trilogy, because almost everyone I was writing about literally did not have the time to kick back, relax, and faff around.

I glimpsed at it in The Amity Incident but by and large, the entire human colony were a bunch of nerd whose primary focus was their better future. The luxury of messing about with things to

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Challenge #01211-C116: Through the Multiverse

Adventuring around the Multiverse, starring Stanford Pines! (If you have not seen Gravity Falls up to Not What He Seems, please replace Stanford with another character)

  1. With Wander and Sylvia
  2. In the last TV show, comic or game universe you encountered -- Gallifreya

[Of firkin course I've seen Gravity Falls. I was just never up on the decoding things because I (a) lacked the reflexes and (b) lacked the smarts. This is an author who needs help at every third Professor Layton

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A Winner is...

The 7-loop connector bars (250 of them!) from Milky Way 888. They were one of the last to get going, and I had to extend the allowance time lest my order get cancelled. And yet, they are the first ones to arrive in my hot little hands.

A moment of silence for the ziplock baggie that tried valiantly, but could not contain the mighty force of two hundred and fifty brass findings during the rigorous journey between there an here. It did

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Challenge #01210-C115: The Daydreaming Ape

We've all done it, been handed a phone in a business office for the case handler, or we sit and wait, and wait, and wait in a government office while time passes like frozen molasses. Someone gets creative with this time, nothing that will get them 'escorted' off the premises. -- KnitNan

[AN: I hope I corrected this prompt accurately. If not, let me know and I'll fix it]

What many people don't know is... waiting rooms are an enormous social experiment.

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Signs of progress?

Yes, I'd love some. I looked up the status of my nineteen parcels for EGDB, and nothing has yet shifted. I've also discovered that Auspost is absolute shit at tracking things from China.

I can't wait for the day that I'm big enough that I won't have to worry about this shit.

Chaos keeps complaining about being forced into a Dutch Braid rather than a French Braid. All her arguments are currently illogical so I guess I'd better actually show her why

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Challenge #01209-C114: That Which is Left

The Sedlec ossuary of Kutna Hora

(if you're interested, there's a gallery of photos here (not for the faint of heart I suppose, but it's clean bones) https://imgur.com/gallery/QZE8a) -- Gallifreya

Logical solutions can look disturbing in retrospect. Take a small area with a large population. Arable land has to be kept clear for farming, so the living can eat. There is not enough fuel to burn the corpses, but just enough to cook. Therefore, the buried dead are

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Gifts! Plus getting there ever so slowly

My darlings have delivered unto me enough combined sugar and chocolate to conceivably choke a horse. And I now own a coffee mug so huge that I must be wary of the undertow. It looks like it can hold at least twice the usual amount of caffeine/beverage of choice. Maybe 2.5 times the usual. It's going to be fun finding out what I'm capable of on that much coffee.

I have four out of nineteen of my parcels for Every

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Challenge #01208-C113: The Battered Knight

http://kelpls.tumblr.com/post/121675020089/i-really-like-the-idea-of-enchanted-suits-of -- Gallifreya

Every time she passed that one suit of armour in the hallway, there was always the smell of Rosemary. Princess Marille had inspected it, once or twice, in her youth. There was not a single scrap of Rosemary anywhere near or inside the shell of that battered old knight.

She had asked her tutors, once, why her family kept that scarred and dented armour when all the other suits of armour were so

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Birthday Embuggerance

Miss Chaos is turning eleven in a little over a week. Her fondest wish is to see Steam Powered Giraffe. That's more than a little beyond our means, right now.

The best I can do for her is to fill her iPad with as much Steam Powered Media as I can.

Her second prize, "purple sparkles", is going to manifest in some hand-crafted jewellery. As soon as I find something suitably purple and sparkly. Fellow relatives are welcome to find as many

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