Challenge #01214-C119: Don't Send Me an Angel

Angel: “FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming


Shepherds: screaming LOUDER


[AN: The link supplied contains images that might be disturbing to those who don't read biblical accounts of what angels look like]

From the Expurgated Gospel of Tebol the Shepherd:

And the Lord sent an Angel unto Tebol, and the Angel had unto itself twelve wings, half of them like unto a bat, and half of them like unto a bird. And the angel had unto itself twenty eyes. And each wing had an eye upon it. And each of the four faces of the Angel had two eyes. And all the eyes burned with holy fire. And the robe of the Angel was like unto the very stars in the sky.

And lo, the Angel of the Lord spake thusly, "FEAR NOT!"

And Tebol was sore afraid. He made a great cry to the Lord for help. And he ran from the Angel. And he ran after his flock, which had scattered in fear.

And lo, the Angel of the Lord spake thusly, "I SAYETH UNTO THEE, FEAR NOT!"

And Tebol did soil his clothing, for his fear was mighty. And Tebol did scream until he could scream no more. And Tebol quivered from head to toe. And Tebol did attempt to burrow into the mountainside by using his shoulderblades.

And lo, the Angel of the Lord spake thusly, "DUDE, LIKE... WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?"

And Tebol sayeth unto the Angel of the Lord, "Have you looked in a mirror?"

There's a reason why this gospel never made it to the big book.

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