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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12542 posts

Fun times ahead

Something there is that does not like me breathing, this week. At this stage in the game, I'm putting it down to Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season. And that's why I'm blogging with a breather mask on my face. Because Seratide and atrovent puffers aren't quite cutting it.

For some reason, I get more typos and type more slowly with a mask on my face, but I'm damned if I'm gonna just spin my wheels whilst I dose myself with saline and atrovent on Max.

And now I know how firkin loud Max is, because relative volume and my need for music.

I have auditory processing issues. That means that I won't hear you if something "more interesting" is playing, the room volume is too loud, or I've tripped off to lala land owing to the presence of a shinier idea. It also means that I can't 'tune out' Max to focus on my music selection.

And what my nerdy arse does is have my compy volume at a set level and adjust my iTunes slider so that it's at comfortable volume. Said comfortable volume is usually just a notch or two into hearable range.

Today, it's at two thirds of the way up to full.

Yeah. Max is as loud as fuck. Even with the lid latched down so that it's quieter.

I'm still trying to figure out how the hell having a mask on my face makes me a slower and worse typist, but that's executive dysfunction for you. Maybe my brain is used to Ventolin tremula and just... does all the other stuff through some variant of muscle memory.

Today, as well as having a fucking asthma attack, we're scheduled to take a road trip up to Scenic Coominya to fetch Chaos and probably be fed carbs. I'm counting today as a feast day so I don't feel guilty about all the stuff I'm going to eat, and bringing my own beverages.

I'm still testing what the fuck gives me next-day diarrhea whenever I go there. If it's the water, then I can bring my own drinks. If it's the food... I'm going to suffer the rest of my firkin life owing to Capt S. having metric fucktons of salt about it.

And in other news, I have a new Goto Snack, which I'm naming Nut Mix. It contains:

  • An entire packet of macadamias
  • An entire packet of roasted, salted peanuts
  • About 200g or an entire packet of shelled walnuts [My recall is hazy on this. Whatever works for you]
  • About 200g of mixed, dried fruit
  • One bar of dark chocolate of choice, broken into chunks

And you just toss that noise into a big enough, sealable container and tumble well. If you're doing zero carbs, this might not be for you. For me, it's just the right balance of sour, salty, sweet, and crunch.

I plan to have a dish of it on the table come Yulemas.

Other discoveries include Cream Jelly - you mix real cream into jelly while it's still warm and let that noise set and you get jelly that tastes like it's got ice cream in there with it. The sugarfree jelly we have is a touch... aggressive with its sweetness and flavour, so I already have plans to make dark-choc jelly cups for yule. Silicone patty pans ftw.

I'm'a be experimenting with that sometime... later.

Challenge #01724-D263: Strange Bedfellows

The "Remittance Man": usually the of the English Aristocracy, sent off with a generous "Remittance" - an allowance paid to him as long as he stay Away, and didn't embarrass the Family. (Back then he was usually a drunk, a letcher, homosexual or cheated at cards. The last was unforgivable.) -- Anon Guest

After the Scandal, it was decided that it would be for the best that Reginald be sent away to somewhere remote but civilised for the remainder. It was the

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Kingsmen: The Golden Circle - pure nonse

We did actually go and see Kingsmen: The Golden Circle, last night. And it is everything you would expect from the Kingsmen. Only this time it was terribly British Gentlemen working with amazingly Stereotypical Cowboys.

Remember the first Kingsman movie in which Galahad firkin tore up a Westborough Baptist Expy Church and the camera had these weird fixed points of stability? I call that "Dizzy Cam". Well, the people who made Kingsmen recognised that that one scene was so fucking awesome and

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Challenge #01723-D262: Family is...?

I did not give that spider superhuman intelligence -- RecklessPrudence

Klaus looked at the spider. She was wearing a crinoline made out of her own silk. He turned back to Lord Falderil. "Really?"

"Absolutely not," insisted Lord Falderil. His lab had every known piece of intelligence-augmenting equipment known to Spark-kind and a few more that he had evidently made himself. "She was already intelligent. I've been augmenting myself so that I can keep up."

The giant spider, named Spinnerette, delicately put down

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Thinking about how to do fibre

So I think I might have perfected the cake-like object from the Keto coconut bread. And since I don't really like a lot of my bread...

I'm thinking about making some choc-chip fibre muffins.

The only drawback to this is that the local Foodways has stopped selling the BEST EGGS IN THE WORLD, Peepers Cheepers [or Cheepers Peepers, I forget which way around it is], the totally organic and ethical free range eggs. In favour of non-organic, non-ethical firkin CAGE EGGS which

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Challenge #01722-D261: Invaders vs Natives

Doctor Disco sighed. Clever, he enjoyed dealing with. Idiots were even more fun to be had. But an enemy with a single goal, moderate leadership intentions, and an analytical plan that still got bollixed up annoyed him no end. -- Fliss

It was days like this when it was difficult to tell who the real enemy was. He usually preferred siding with the ones who tried not to kill. Which, unfortunately, were not the humans, this time. The other side were the

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Progress!

I have vowed to make Mayhem and I do the rowing machine twice a week until we get buff or the machine breaks, whichever happens first. It's a five minute stint. We go as fast as we can for as long as we can and then slow row for the rest of the time. In the unlikely event that we can keep up a fast rowing pace for five minutes, we'll move up to ten.

In my second session, I made it

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Challenge #01721-D260: Been Bingeing Adventure Zone

[When someone is being encouraged to compromise their morals]

They've already put a lot of effort into the "not killing people" plan, they'd like to see it through to the end. -- RecklessPrudence

It certainly looked like the end for our heroes. Surrounded on every side by hostile forces. Outmanned. Outnumbered. If there were guns, they'd have been outgunned. But in this case, they were all out of spell slots and clever tricks. All they had left was their weapons and their

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The big 'vote' and other noise

We got the snailmail that could change Australia, today. That's the plebiscite on homosexual marriage. I instantly noticed that it's a survey and not even slightly related to influencing Australian law.

Of course I voted for maximum freedom. Not that it matters, really, because it's a firkin survey. The cowards of Canberra are testing the waters to see whether or not this is an issue worthy of becoming part of the platform. Or becoming a referendum.

I did not art, this morning.

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Challenge #01720-D259: High Alert Level

I may be a coward, but I will not let that define me. -- RecklessPrudence

My name is Val, and I'm afraid. Every day, every minute, all I can think of is the worst possible consequences that result from my actions. You might call it anxiety. I don't think it's anything as mild as that. I have a mechanical clock as an alarm, because what if the power fails in the night and all the electronic stuff doesn't work? I sterilise my

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Slow Progress and Updatey Promises

It's cleaning day, so that means that anything I post will likely be posted in the afternoon.

I will be attempting to post a progress speedpaint of the cover-so-far for Beauties and the Beastly. That's going to be... "fun".

Also in the "fun" pile is unriddling what the flip is wrong with the latest animated shot for SESP. I might have to brute force that mofo or something. That's probably not happening until tomorrow.

Also, all art is slowed because my time

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Challenge #01719-D258: Near Lethal Combination

Finally, almost thirty-five minutes into their wait and seventeen minutes into [Responsible Authority Figure]'s scolding ([RAF's best friend, Shit-Stirrer] kept track; the record was thirty-four minutes, twenty-seven seconds, which [Shit-Stirrer] was ashamed to admit was on account of [much-less-responsible person RAF is mentoring in the ways of fighting both physical and magical, often compared to an excitable puppy] and masochistically determined to beat)... -- RecklessPrudence

If enthusiasm was light, Paxifraxx would be a pulsar. Deadly when aimed in the right direction,

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Finances, Fucked up, and Fuckassery

I'm still hovering around the halfway mark with the New Compy Fund. If I clean everything out at once, I'm just past halfway there at $1.8K and this is because my automatic payment to my personal funds got cancelled because I took it out of the wrong account.

It's sorted out, now. Don't fret.

And I forget how I got through $210 out of my emergency funds, but it was probably food or clothes.

My scrimpings are up by $340 thanks

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Challenge #01718-D257: Where Angels Fear

[Name] is a professional adventurer/planet saver with extremely acute hearing. The other speaker is their much calmer and more logical, though not necessarily smarter, best friend)

[Name] buried the pillow over their head and groaned.

“I can’t tell if those are gunshots or fireworks,” they whined.

“Do not be silly, [Name]. Fireworks are illegal on this planet.” -- RecklessPrudence

There's a reason why Iman Goodboy spends most of her time in her livesuit. She could control how much of the

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Running my arse off

Mayhem is a bit crook,so Miss Chaos is going to scenic Coominya to spend some time with her Nanna solo.

The travel arrangements are a teeny bit convoluted, but I will take anything that results in me not being tired off my arse for a lonely drive home.

...which is why I'm writing this blog entry at twenty past four in the morning.

Also because there's bad weather coming and I can feel it in the right side of my face.

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