Amalgam Universe

A 2284-post collection

Challenge #01034-B302: Pupup

A human is raised by aliens, and it turns out a lot of things humans like that weird out the rest of the galaxy are innate. For example the love of explosions, climbing and/or jumping off tall things, interacting with potentially hazardous wildlife, and chucking rocks into water. -- Gallifreya

They had found the survival pod some distance from the crash. And inside, a human. It was unmistakably a human. No other species had that almost complete lack of fur. Nor the robustness to survive multiple impacts against the rocky ground, even protected by padding and harnesses.

It took one look at Crol and laughed. "Pupup!"

It was clearly an infant. It could not survive in this harsh land on its own. It needed protection and nurture.

Crol released it from its harnesses and scavenged what food it could from the wreckage. Anything he could identify as cogniscent remains were buried not far from the crash site. The human pup followed, playing with his tail when it wasn't trying to be 'helpful' and getting in the way of Crol's efforts.

His mate was going to chew his ear off for this.

In fact, it looked like she was going to do so now. "You are not," she said as she marched up to him, "going to take that on board with the rest of us."

"Where else could it go?" Crol asked.

"Pupup," said the human, and hugged Ijada's legs.

Crol could see Ijada's heart melting. The way she gently stroked the human's hair. The way her eyes gentled. "Affectionate little creature," she allowed. "We must teach it not to harm."

They did their best.

*

Pepa was ten years old when she grew taller than her parents. She stayed away from most other Lupids near the farm she shared with her family. When the bullies came, she was up the first tree she could find and they couldn't get to her. And if they kept her up too long, she'd arrange for branches or fruit to fall about them.

It wasn't a perfect life. Den-mother insisted there was no such thing. But she had her pack. She had her home. She had... a seemingly endless array of tasks that involved her strength.

Da was calling her.

Pepa brachiated her way through the grove for the fun of it and ran for Da. More heavy barrels for the brewing cellar. This lot smelled like a batch of sharp vinegar. Her muscles were useful for getting them down since the veet motor broke, but her size was not.

They had to save up to make the house bigger for Pepa. But they needed lots of bulk stores to save up, what with Pepa heading for another hungry season. And they needed Pepa to move things around, because a new veet motor cost a lot. But they also needed to make the house bigger because there were places where Pepa couldn't easily fit, any more.

She couldn't just carry the barrels down. Not any more. She had to rig up a cunning set of ropes and ramps to roll the barrels down into the cellar, and then squirm down to set them right. It was neck-cricking, back, aching, sweaty work. But she got the cellar full from corner to corner.

Her bones clicked as she stretched in the balmy afternoon air. "Can I go to the lake, now, Da?"

Da didn't like her going to the lake. She splashed too much, he said. And threw herself and other things about like a lunatic. Going to the lake or the sea let her Human out. But he also knew that she'd worked hard. "All right. You've earned it. Don't let any of the pups see you."

Jumping about had its time and place, and bathing was for special occasions. Lupids couldn't really handle the sight of someone having as much fun in water as Pepa did. She had to rescue four pups, the last time she went swimming.

But it was hard, so very hard, not to whoop with joy. She loved the water. And, when there were definitely no Lupids to see her, she would throw things into the water, just to see the splash. Then, of course, she would dive to fetch them back.

Everyone she knew called her strange. Even Den-mother and Da, when they thought she couldn't hear them.

Den-mother found her bringing up one of the decorative rocks.

Pepa giggled nervously and set it back where it had come from. "Am I in trouble?" she asked. It was a safe bet. There wasn't a day where she didn't get a lecture about something.

"Not yet," sighed Den-mother. "The education board have come up with a solution to your... needs."

It was army training. Sort of. The tutors had her running through obstacle courses designed to tire her enough so that she would fidget less at her custom-made desk in a custom-made classroom. Not her fault. She was just... bigger than any Lupid alive. And the exercise only made her stronger and tougher. And bigger.

Everything they gave her was novelty. A novelty cushion-bed for a family of four became her seat. A novelty enormous bed was where she slept. Her meals were stunt-sized. And her education... well.

She found out why some of the local pups called her a monster.

Humans were dangerous. They were insane. They loved the things that made other species wary. But she was a good monster. And she aimed to prove it.

*

When she finally stopped growing, most adult Lupids were at about the same height as her navel. She had a costume that protected her against any Lupid weapons that could harm her. She had a team who worked with her.

She only came into play when the need was extreme. But she was helpful.

The people loved having such a giant on their side. But not enough to let her socialise with them. Her times in public were usually limited to letting people gawk at her on some kind of stage. Exhibitions of her power.

The only people who let her touch them was her family. Da and Den-mother and all the pups. She was careful with them, of course. She'd been careful all her life.

She began to love for her days off. When it was just her and her family on the farm. In the big, new house made for someone of Pepa's bulk.

"I'm gonna be lonely, aren't I, Da?" she asked. "There's nobody who loves me like you all do."

Da didn't answer. Just stared up at the stars. "Wait and see, pup. Wait and see."

(Muse food remaining: 18. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01030-B298: Non Sequiturs of Doom

I have no idea what that means, but it cannot /possibly/ mean anything good. -- RecklessPrudence

Rael almost congratulated himself. The first Ambassadorial Meet for Shayde was going well. Like the man falling from a building in that ancient joke, it was rather a case of so far, so good.

She had made it as far as lunch on the first day without causing a fracas.

"I tole ye. I'm no' fer sale and I'm past my amuse-by date," carried over the

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Challenge #01028-B296: Explaining History

Advantage number one of having crammed our development of spacecraft into only ten years: "Holy shit we know how to mass produce so many liquid explosives that we can get to be stable for just long enough, you have no idea." -- RecklessPrudence

It's said that anything interesting enough to propel a spacecraft for long distances in a relatively short time is also interesting enough to be a weapon. And it's usually said by humans, who tended to develop the weapons first

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Challenge #01027-B295: One Terrifying Adventure in a Hidden Bunker

Person #1: Was this place built on an old well, or a burial ground or something?

Person #2: No [Person #1], weren't you paying attention? This whole mess is the result of somebody bringing Nazi Magitech back from WW2 Germany instead of burninating it like any sane person would. -- RecklessPrudence

"Ooooh," cooed Kevin. "So that's why everything is all over swastikas and lightning bolts, right?"

"Eeeh," Allie shrugged. "Sort of. My research indicates that the artefact kind'a possessed the interior decorator

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Challenge #01026-B294: Before She Met Hwell

Person #1: They just have to deal with it. Life isn't fair.

Person #2 (softly, sadly): No, it isn't. But that doesn't mean we should be making it less so. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Wholeheartedly agreed]

Two guards watched the product file from the conditioning yards and into the truck. Ready for processing. The newbie stared with an open mouth.

"Hey, if you want one, you could snag it after the buyers have picked the best ones. Bawdy factory don't mind."

"Just... take

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Challenge #01021-B289: You Know What You Did

You can be villainous all you like, little AI, but if the people writing the safeguards are competent, you get this: http://weirdlet.tumblr.com/post/131323113905/furious-peridot-witchoil-devilishdescent -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Another one I must reblog to notify that this is a thing. Also, I am trying very hard not to channel Bender Bending Unit Rodriguez]

"Welcome to transit station Eighty-Six, the asshole of the universe," droned the alleged welcoming committee. "If you've been assigned work here, then you've made some really

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Challenge #01017-B285: User Interactivity Issue

"Pew pew pew."

"Uh... sir... are you making laser noises?"

"YES!"

"But... your laser is making actual noises..."

"Yes but they're not lasery enough!" -- RecklessPrudence

Grax boggled at the human. "I am not understanding."

"We're in the middle of a siege situation. Do you really need a lesson in human history now?"

"In-between volleys would be sufficient," allowed Grax. She let off a few shots at the enemies without the verbal accompaniment.

"Pew pew pew!" Andi retreated back to their shared

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Challenge #01016-B284: Rescued!

I'm not a machine... just someone with night vision and a heads-up display -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Significant thoughts about a certain SPG Music Video]

Kyri had thought she was in a very effective prison until someone walked through the wall like it was made out of wet cellulose. She had to assume they were a someone, because they passed the Turing test within five minutes.

She spent most of her escape inside a protection pod, but judging by the jinking turns and

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Challenge #01015-B283: One Smoky Afternoon in a Dive Bar

Person #1: What the hell is going on, [Person #2]?

Person #2 (calmly, going to sit down): Well, it appears that we're going to start a revolution. -- RecklessPrudence

Ax'and'l looked askance at his human business partner. "Is this one of your definitely profitable insane ventures, or one of the ones that is more... pro bono publico?"

"Uh," said Hwell. Never a good sign. "Not really sure. But we need to do something. Take a look around this room. What's missing?"

Ax'and'l

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Challenge #01013-B281: B-GUD

I wasn't human, and more than likely once my nature was found out... In popular fiction most A.I were villainous. Hal-9000, Skynet, GLaDOS, SHODAN, AM. Hell, I was even planning on building an army of robots and conquering a planet!

Well, conquering two gas giants and associated hundred and twenty-nine moons.

For the good of my creators. -- RecklessPrudence

I know, I know. There's all kinds of justifications. But they really wanted it, they just didn't know it yet. I'm doing

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Challenge #01011-B279: Trolling at an Intersection

Let's see what the SPOEn think of this quote:

“English is the product of a Saxon warrior trying to make a date with an Angle bar-maid, and as such is no more legitimate than any of the other products of that conversation.” ― H. Beam Piper, Fuzzy Sapiens -- care of RecklessPrudence

[AN: You really love fucking with the SPOEns, don't you?]

Shayde loved grafitti corners. They were an excellent avenue for both spleen-venting and art. And sometimes the art of provocation.

Just

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Challenge #01010-B278: History Q&A

Anything they were willing to try using as fuel during the space race is volatile enough to qualify as an emergency explosive, including the stuff they actually used for launches. -- RecklessPrudence

"They didn't try less volatile launch methods? Like low-orbit flight and gas boosting?"

"Or maglev railgun shots?" suggested another member of Shayde's audience.

"They were thought of, awright. But they were too expensive and too slow. It was a race, ye ken. Braggin' rights tae th' first one on the

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Challenge #01005-B273: Bird Spotting

The cassowary is basically a smaller emu which was apparently created in response to complaints that emus were too sane and peaceable. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: You have seen that vine where Emus don't know how to handle a Weasel Ball... right?]

"Let me get this straight. There is a flightless bird native to your planet of origin that is, on average, one point four five Distance Units and Fifty-five Weight units of murderous intent in feathers... and it is the saner counterpart

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Challenge #01002-B270: Suck it, Scheherazade!

As far as I am aware, Australia is the only country in the world that eats every theoretically edible part of its national coat of arms (well, stars and crosses... bikkie form?) Roo (lean red meat, the animal is less harmful to the environment than cattle or sheep), Emu (tastes like chicken - well, kinda gamey chicken), and Wattle (seeds make a sweet flour), all eaten.

Although I guess for some countries that would be quite difficult, since they're cheating with having

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Challenge #00998-B267: What a Nice Zoo. May I Live Here?

http://glitch.news/2015-08-27-ai-robot-that-learns-new-words-in-real-time-tells-human-creators-it-will-keep-them-in-a-people-zoo.html

Particularly the final written quote from the android, just before the embedded video. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the human and allied colonies, the Consortium of Steam is possibly the strangest. Well... at least until you visit B'Nar. But that's another story for another time.

On the prime colony world of New Kazoo, as well as the satellite colonies, ownership is consensual. The owned have as many rights as the owners and sometimes... it is rather hard to

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