Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01255-C160: Leave Me Alone!

http://cosmic-raes.tumblr.com/post/143671834576/editorincreeps-thelessercarpenter

The Humble Villager that was just trying to stop random adventurers stealing all their stuff -- Gallifreya

It began with a lucky shot. Tur the Peasant had had enough of adventurers stealing her things, and hucked a rock at the armoured figure going through Tur's sacks of meagre belongings.

They must have been at 1HP, because they fell and discorporated, leaving their swag behind them.

Tur spent a moment, dumbstruck, looking at the loot. Then she swept it up. There was some actual Silvers in the loot and she knew she would have to protect herself. Starting with the Adventurer's old armour.

Most of the money went on better locks and gates for her hut. And repairs on the armour. But she was able to trade in the old, rusted sword and some random items for a new sword and a few lessons on how to use it.

Lessons she needed, because no sooner had she got back to tending her pigs, than another adventurer came. Slightly better equipped. Hungry for loot. And they had a dog. But they didn't know how to use the animal properly, and their loot became hers. And so did the dog.

She trained the beast to guard the house, and outfitted him with armour as well. No sense in letting a good asset get slaughtered. Tur laid more than a few traps along her property, too. Making sure no adventurers got to what little she had. The copper coins that used to be her only wealth meant the difference between life and death, come winter.

More adventurers came. More died, leaving her their wealth. Before the snows ended, she had enough to make a fortified wall around her farm, and a cadre of mercenaries to make certain they stayed away. And more traps, dogs, and warding spells than she could have believed. Now she had silvers and a few golds to guard. And the most protected pigs on the planet.

Of course, selling them was a problem. The adventurers came in parties, now, and saw the pigs as a resource for her growing complex and attempted to attack them. After five or so parties, Tur's pigs headed to market in guarded, armoured wagons.

And after a couple of years, Tur didn't need to raise pigs at all. Now she was guarding her golds against a constant stream of Adventurers. And they were carrying gems and magical jewellery that could protect Tur and her teams from the inevitable further onslaughts.

Before she knew it, she was somehow an Evil Overlord. It didn't make sense. She fed and housed and armed and healed her troops. She hired many of the disenfranchised peasants who had lost their farms from Adventurer predation.

Tur the HeroSlayer, who never attacked a kingdom. Tur the Wicked, who never set out to do evil.

She'd only wished to protect what was hers.

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These things are meant to try me

Would you believe I'm still trying to upload the second episode of Shaturday Specials? Yup. It's recorded. I have fourteen episodes in the bag... and a shitty internet connection making sure that absolutely nothing gets out.

URGH.

I swear my second video has been stuck at three hours remaining for all the firkin night.

Meh.

Anyway, while those go out at a trickle, I continue onwards in my efforts.

I have a second recording all ready for editing. I am going to

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Challenge #01254-C159: Sworn to Love

Princess Marries Dragon to Knight -- Gallifreya

"Why, beast? Why must you plague my every waking day with your invasions to my fair land."

The dragon rumbled and stopped what it was doing with boulders. It seemed to... sag. "I'm... a plague?"

"Of course you're a plague! You burn the lands, you foul the water, and you steal the cattle of the hardworking peasants."

"Um," said the Princess Carillion. "That would be the warlords neighbours? I haven't observed this dragon doing very

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It's Shaturday!

After a final quality check, I will be putting up my first session of Shaturday games and timing how long it takes for some arsehat to red-flag me.

I'm not spending much time on quality in these videos. After all, no time was spent on the quality of the games.

I need to edit a little out of episode nine, but otherwise, all is well.

The only pity is that I haven't figured out how to fast forward with my current video

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Challenge #01253-C158: Happily Ever After

Princess marries Dragon and Knight -- Gallifreya

Another day, another quest. Trillwhistle and Amanda had both taken a liking to questing. They saw more of the world than they could have initially believed and the rewards were interesting. And educational.

Amanda stopped calling herself Princess Amanda and, thanks to an unkowing knighthood from a distant king, started going by Sir Dragonbourne. It helped that her armour covered her face and disguised her physique.

And it was safer to let everyone assume that

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Le Sigh

The best-laid plans of mice, men, and myself are gang aft agley. And my plans are pretty damn agley right now.

Something has gone wrong with my mic or my setup that means that the three hours of gameplay have to be re-recorded because the stupid software didn't bother recording from my stupid mic that I stupid know stupid firkin works.

Aaaaaaaarrrrrgh.

So I not only have to figure out what the flip has gone wrong with my setup, but I also

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Challenge #01252-C157: A Friend for the Princess

Princess is Dragon -- Gallifreya

The tallest tower of the castle is the largest. The widest. The roomiest. And it has the largest windows. The Princess is held there, they say. They say that there's a dragon. They say that the Princess is the most beautiful creature that ever lived.

Toe had heard all the rumours, of course. How suitors came to see her, and often ran away. How some came with blades to conquer the beast of the tower. They went

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I can do this... i hope

I have some potential agents lined up to get query letters. I have some novels that really, really need to get out there if I have a hope of earning money at this.

I know that I have to get several agents to handle all of my stuff, because I write across a wide and varied field of fiction. Which I hope is for everyone.

One day, I will find one agent who is willing to take me, and all my assorted

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Challenge #01251-C156: The Power of Knowledge

Princess Rescues Dragon -- Gallifreya

Sir Kevin the Persistent lived up to his name. He did not, alas, live up to some of the more important laws of chivalry. He had studied up on Dragons and knew the best time to attack Trillwhistle.

The fact that he waited for her next shedding season was telling indeed. He would strike when his opponent was weak. He would arm himself with everything he needed to use to destroy one in its strength, so he

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What a state of affairs

I'm getting close to having 300 followers on Tumblr. The last time I did a promotion, one of my winners only collected a third of their grand prize and has yet to decide on the other two parts. I need to chase them up about things.

I finally have a day in which I can seek out and begin sending enquiries to agents in New York. That's going to be fun.

Plus I have plans to finish at least one more pair

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Challenge #01250-C155: Dragon/Princess/Knight

Dragon rescues Princess from Knight -- Gallifreya

"EUGH! NO! Get. Off. Me!"

Trillwhistle gave off looking for the right kind of rocks to scrape off her old skin on and followed the sounds of feminine protest.

"Come on. It's only a kiss. It's my due."

In a clearing not far from the rough, rocky outcropping that Trillwhistle had been considering as a hide-scraper, there was... a Scene.

It looked like some of the pictures from the human books. A lovely glade, a

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Sigh

Some idiot shot up a place of safety for the LGBT community, yesterday. Some idiot will claim that it was on religious grounds and, for a change, the world will believe him and not claim that he is insane.

For once, this might just be titled an act of terrorism. Why?

Because the shooter was allegedly a Muslim.

If he was a white Christian, he would be declared insane or mentally disturbed before the shrapnel had stopped flying. If he was white,

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Challenge #01249-C154: Who's the Hero?

The super-villain who is an absolutely great parent -- Gallifreya

It began small, as it always does. A few disappearances. A few strangers with the wrong ID, turning up as suicides or deaths by cop.

But it wasn't until Senator Morganbaum took the public podium and changed before everyone's eyes into a latino woman of about the same height and weight that people realised something was up.

It was a very specific pattern. White cops who were on leave for shooting incidents

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Whoopsy

Turns out that Her Majesty's birthday isn't a public holiday, after all. But I called the little darlings in as sick because we all stayed up way too late. Heheh.

One of the reasons we all stayed up late is two new television shows [the other was the whole concept of today being a holiday] - Preacher and Cleverman.

Both are interesting shows with a premise good enough to latch on to my curiosity, but they are really, really different. And it's

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Challenge #01248-C153: Tired of the Same Ol'

"But I'm tired of being the villain! I know the series needs a villain, why does it have to be me?" fed up character or actor stuck with "Bad person" roles. -- Knitnan

"Why can't I actually conquer the galaxy? Would that really be so bad?"

Wander looked at the camera. Then he looked to Sylvia, who just shrugged. "Uh, probably?" said Sylvia. "Face it, Hater. If you were running things around here, everything would be terrible for everybody. Why'd you even

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