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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01335-C240: Indomitable

"1... 2... 3..."

Crash

"Now we know it's three seconds deep!" -- OohLookShiny

Humans. The Ch'voth had been essentially using them as cannon fodder for a passage of months before they realised two things:

First - humans were extremely hard to kill.

Second - their primary method of finding answers seemed to be 'throw things at it'.

It didn't matter what the question was. They would throw things at it. The Ch'voth theorised that most of their science evolved in the same way.

How fast is light? Let's throw some at some spinning gears and see!

Can we make a bridge here? Let's throw a rope across and find out!

Can we colonise this new planet? Let's throw some people and equipment there!

And, one that Ch'terin saw herself: How deep is this hole? Let's drop a rock in it!

"What are--?"

"Ssh!" The human was counting under their breath. "Five. It's five seconds deep..." Now they had a stick. And a human with a stick could do terrible things indeed. "With a fall rate of eight DU's per second per second... hm, hm, hm... One hundred DU's to the bottom of that thing. And there's no telling if it goes out."

Ch'terin watched the human poke at the ground with their stick.

"Can't go back. If we go down, we might be cut off worse..." the human sighed. "You're not going to make it if I scout and backtrack all the time, and I have to save you because I like getting paid." Another sigh. "You're not going to like this, my friend... but I'll have to carry you."

"That... that goes against protocol," objected Ch'terin. She did not voice her concerns about this dangerous mammal pack-bonding with her. Now was not the time.

"You like living. I like you living. What's to argue about?" said the human. And it was not as if Ch'terin could actually fight them. Humans were frighteningly strong.

And frighteningly fast. And frighteningly cavalier with their own lives. And... just plain frightening.

Ch'terin took all of her sedatives, but was still amber-lining her stress indicators by the time the human got back to their vessel.

Humans, she would later report, also solved problems by throwing themselves at them.

(Muse food remaining: 23. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Today's the Day!

I am a happy, bouncing, frothing little fanbot this morning, because the best band in the world, Steam Powered Giraffe, are releasing their newest album, Quintessential in less than six and a half hours.

I have already tuned in to the pending livestream. Where a bunch of like-minded nerds fanmily are also lying in wait and foaming at each other.

I will once again be totally incorrigible. Playing the album over and over and over, often at full blast, until everyone begs

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Challenge #01334-C239: So Unfair

School 'Pain in the Anatomy': "Well, he'll either wind up in Jail or grow up to be an Archbishop." -- Anon Guest

Life is unfair. Anyone trying to tell you different is either trying to sell you something, or is one of the people who actively make life unfair. Such are the lessons drilled into us at school. Not by the teachers, oh no. They're still trying to sell us all the ideal that hard work earns good rewards.

The lesson is

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Sick Games I play

That is, games I play when I'm sick.

Like: "Is it really this cold, or am I feverish?"
Or: "Am I tired from virus fighting or depression?"
Or: "What dose do I really need?"
Or: "Should I be worried about this symptom?"

And my personal favourite: The Keeping Your Fluids Up 10 Metre Dunny Dash.

Three guesses what got me up at 2:30AM today?

Yeah. Illness has means of getting us down. One way or another.

So now game #2 is

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Challenge #01333-C238: Pick of the Three

"You can have it done well. You can have it done fast. You can have it done cheap."

"Pick any two!" -- Anon Guest

"You dare talk to me like that?"

The artisan didn't look up. "I talk to everyone like that. Fast and well is not cheap. Well and cheap is not fast. Cheap and fast is not well. Is there more that needs explaining?"

"Do you know who I am?"

The artisan spared a moment to look up. She regarded

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GFDI

It's one of my fave acronyms when things go agley to the point of explosive frustration. And this morning has definitely been GFDI material.

I discovered this morning that the love of my life had not acquired their 'Flu shot this year. And apparently the fact that the entire family caught a virus was enough to convince them that this year's 'Flu shots are a crock of crap.

Which meant that I had to spend some time quietly explaining the science behind

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Challenge #01332-C237: People in Glass Houses Shouldn't

Garnet vs. the PTA -- Gallifreya

[AN: Cue Harper Valley PTA :D]

Steven's first semester at school had not gone great. He was failing advanced math, and flunked right out of sharing that class with Connie at all. And on the night before the PTA meeting, Steven came home with a note.

It was not a criticism of Steven, nor of his scholastic performance. It was a criticism of the Gems and their 'unconventional' lifestyle being a reason why they should not

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Executive Dysfunction R Us

I have come to realise that Miss Chaos and I share more than anxiety. There's also a healthy dollop of executive dysfunction in there. Well. Not that healthy. It's a bad thing to have and it can mess up your life.

For the peeps in the cheap seats, Executive Dysfunction is when you consciously know you have to do a thing, but there's a disconnect between knowing you have to do it and actually doing the thing.

Sometimes, it's like this comic

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Challenge #01331-C236: Epic Levels of Bullshit

I knew about this story, but I had never heard the reasoning behind having the 'roos in the simulation to begin with. Makes a lot more sense, now. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: The real funny part was that this story was used as an example of checking your GD code before release. I heard it in one of my BInfTech lectures. Australia just seems to be a nexus of firkin weird stories. See: The Emu War (spoilers, the Emus won)]

"...and then the

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::is frustrate::

There have been server issues centred around my email programs. Something I could have been told about on Friday evening, but I found out about it on Saturday morning, when I couldn't get the receipt email from Cinebuzz.

I can read emails on my phone only, at the moment. What I can't do is send any replies.

Hopefully this is a state of fuck-uppedness that will only last but a brief moment. I really don't want to deal with this long term.

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Challenge #01330-C235: Grass No Greener

Supervillian grad student, just trying to get by: (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: This tale harkens back to story 1 in this thing ]

I tried to tell her it wouldn't work. Convincing a superhero Aunty to finance a neophyte supervillain requires more points in debate than dear little Wondergal ever possessed.

Just like every other rich person, Aunty Wonderbabe thought that all the poor people had to do to get ahead was work harder.

"Fine," said Wondergal. "Then I demand to have my

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Ch-ch-ch-chaaaanges....

For every step forward, there's a stumble back. And a risk of going back to what's familiar, because that's what used to work.

But this is not that.

Followers of my tumblr will notice that I have a new format for pushing my Instants at you. Like all good clickbait, I give you a taste and hope its interesting enough for you to come over and read the rest of it.

I'm still getting used to the Facebook cut-off, but I might

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Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

I'm not saying it's bears, but it's bears. (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

"And in other news, Australian zoologists have managed to capture the fabled Yowie. Down by the little outback town of Canyapassabeermate[1], a local dingo trapper found more than he bargained for in one of his cage traps."

They cut to the live feed where the only person wearing corks on their hat was the American newscaster.

"G'day from down under," she cheered, blatantly ignoring the winces of contact embarrassment from

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Ow ow ow

It's beginning to look a lot like Lurgi...

I am more mentally scattershot than usual. Brain fog is closing in, there's congestion in my bronchii that won't bloody shift, and I keep sleeping on my shoulders wrong and mucking them up.

And of course I've had my almost bloody typical 3AM wake-up because my life must be absolute hades for some reason.

So naturally I start dozing at the keyboard.

I need coffee.

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Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Ghosts and the word 'boo'. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

"What the hell did you say to that demon, Demon?"

"Shayde," said the demon. "And she was'nae a demon, she was Seeliegh. A Fae."

"You speak gibberish, demon," said Sir Ethil. "More so than usual. Everyone knows that fairies are small and have butterfly wings. That monster looked more like an insect trying to appear human."

Behind Sir Ethil, Tragyk the Mage snorted. He had a lot of trouble with pollen, every time

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