InterNutter

Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Us humans have skin lotions and hair straighteners/curlers - what do other species do to improve the Outer Alien? -- Anon Guest

There are things you can sell anywhere. Popcorn, for example, is the only known deathworlder food that is so inoffensive that it can be sold to Havenworlders. Many more things change uses between species.

"What is this liquid?"

"We call it 'varnish'. It's a clear polymer coat that adds shine to static surfaces."

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Tropes That Annoy Me: I Have Brothers

It's usually a feature of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but sometimes your Action Gal explains her usually manly feats with "I have brothers". The brothers are almost always older, and numerous, and our female lead has learned to hold her own against them as some form of survival skill.

Sometimes, there are no brothers, the mother is usually out of the picture¹, and the father "didn't know how to raise a girl" so did all the boy stuff with her.

Challenge #01604-D143: They Grow So Fast

How about one where Aliens are stunned at the absurd growth rate/ regenerative properties that humans seem to have. Either for something as small as fingernails or hair needing constant maintenance, to 'how did that child grow a full METER in the ten years I was absent?!' -- Anon Guest

Human Steff had reproduced. Live birthing was trauma enough for most of the crew, but the idea that humans could be small and fragile was overwhelming. These mammals had to be

Tropes That Annoy Me: The Fighting Fucktoy

If you want to know all about the Fighting Fuctoy, you won't find much about it on tvtropes.org at all. Nope. For that, you have to go to sites written by, and run by exclusively female authors.

Or you could absorb this picture:

[Artistry care of Kate Beaton of Hark, A Vagrant! fame. Link leads to her Strong Female Characters series collation]

Any attempt to put this sort of thing up on tvtropes results in, I presume, a phenomenally unbelievable amount

Challenge #01603-D142: Eat Snax

"Fat grubs in butter sauce." this was from a Lizard culture's idea of Snack Food. Humans have popcorn, crisps, peanuts etc. So how about one of those Snack Food van equivalents that caters to various species, and make a good living thereby. -- Knitnan

Eat Snax the sign blared in potentially noxious colours. Underneath, a more staid sign discreetly told the observant that this was a suggestion and not an order. Inside the ludicrously small booth, a popcorn popper was doing its

GDI

I was really hoping for the crises to be done with by today. I wanted to talk about the Fighting Fucktoy trope with y'all.

But no. Life has intervened and I need to bitch about stuff for a bit.

Before you fret, Chaos is fine. Her tooth is still nice and shiny and she's eating okay. Today's threat to the return of normalcy is... Mayhem.

Yes, folks. Disasters come once per little darling in this house, and it's Mayhem's turn to fuck

Challenge #01602-D141: Farewell Letter

[TITLE: Constant vigilance or endless confusion.] One of those sayings that are only too true, put your own spin on this one. -- Knitnan

They say, It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. They say, pesimists are rarely disappointed. They are frequently right about this sort of thing. They really are out to get me. And I am very rarely disappointed in my expectations. Any day, they will find me. They will do horrible things. It's what they

Signs of a rotten week

The fear/exhaustion feeling is not going away. It's starting to suck major league balls.

I will do just about anything to make it go away. Except break Keto. That crap is not going to happen.

Fortunately, I have a fuckoff-huge coffee hoard and little tricks like sugarless mints to help maintain awareness.

The worst part is trying to go to sleep at night. I can succumb to the exhaustion, but the fear manages to keep me awake for way longer than

Challenge #01601-D140: Unseen Creatures

You washed two, now there's only one sock. Black Hole? Alternate dimension? Sir P'Terry's sock Eater? -- Anon Guest.

Even in the modern day, there are things unknown to magic or science. The hidden creatures that have so far evaded notice by the common and uncommon worlds. They eke out an existence in the forgotten corners. And live where you'd never notice them. One such creature is the line-dangling shoe lark, which exclusively nests in the shoes random people throw over the

Blurghledy

Something is in the air. Something got to me in the dead of the night and reminded me that asthma is a son of a bitch.

Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season got me, last night, and I woke to the all-too-familiar sensation of not having enough air. So I've used Max for maybe the third time since I started on Keto.

I'm okay. I found my Seratide and dosed myself up on that and some nebuliser Atrovent. I can breathe again.

What I

Challenge #01600-D139: Best in the Business

[TITLE: Acme Showroom.] You know Acme - All those cartoons. Especially the 'Roadrunner" -- Anon Guest

It was pristine. It was flashy. This company, the architecture screamed, has made a lot of money. You should invest in this company, it said. It's a wise choice.

The objects of pride were on revolving plinths. They had never been used, and they were polished regularly. Everything looked like the pinnacle of engineering.

It was a wonder how this company got sued in the first

Off I go again

This time, it's a much shorter trip to MeMum's to sort out whatever has fluffed up with her tech this time. I suspect she's forced a quit during an update and now everything's gone do-lally. Either that or a virus has managed to get past her antiviral thing and now she needs a purge.

I really hope it's the update thing. That's way easier to fix than the virus.

Either way, I am sorting out a lot of crap, today. Which means

Challenge #01599-D138: Manifested Destiny

But the [Tech] is on the fritz due to what I believe would be classified as 'bombardment by an angry god', which violates your warranty, as we all know. -- RecklessPrudence

The Smudger hemmed and hawed over the broom. Ran a pendulum over the length of it and whistled backwards, the sure sign that something expensive was about to happen. "Are you sure you haven't angered any gods?" they said.

"Not to my knowledge," said Duji. She had her knitting out because

...sigh...

Home again, home again, and boy, are we grateful. It takes a time to get away from it all to appreciate what you have.

But of course, it wouldn't be a family holiday without a family disaster. Chaos got the run-abouts while waiting in the Adelaide airport, tripped over Mayhem, and bumped a front tooth. Grandma insists that Chaos has broken her tooth and it's going to end in disaster. And won't shut up about the dental disaster that she calls key

Challenge #01598-D137: That's One Bad Week

[Bad news]

[Worse news]

[Extremely horrible news]

[ohmygodwhatthefuck news]

One of the people who have to deal with it all, to the rest of same: ...well people, I'd say it's about time to drink ourselves into the mother of all stupors. It's been that kind of week. -- RecklessPrudence

First, the Gravity Drive failed. They still had internal gravity, but the virtual black hole in front of the bow that towed them along at CTL speeds[1] was no longer operational. The

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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Tropes That Annoy Me: I Have Brothers

Challenge #01604-D143: They Grow So Fast

Tropes That Annoy Me: The Fighting Fucktoy

Challenge #01603-D142: Eat Snax

GDI

Challenge #01602-D141: Farewell Letter

Signs of a rotten week

Challenge #01601-D140: Unseen Creatures

Blurghledy

Challenge #01600-D139: Best in the Business

Off I go again

Challenge #01599-D138: Manifested Destiny

...sigh...

Challenge #01598-D137: That's One Bad Week