Girl Genius

A 33-post collection

Challenge #01871-E047: Know When to Walk Away

Hello! I would find it immensely amusing if you would write a fic where Maxim (Girl Genius) and/or any of the Jägers run into Taako (TAZ) and strike up a conversation about hats. Your writing is great and I am highly impressed with how much you manage to write. Thanks for listening! :) -- HowShouldIKnow

Never mind how they got there. The meeting should have been brief. It should have resulted in one of them knowing something the other had to bargain and both of them walking away and muttering, "Sucker..." in evident glee. And yet, the conversation had turned to, of all things, hats.

"Of course it changes every day. I'm a wizard. My hat is me. It suits my mood, my wardrobe... goes with everything, darling."

Maxim was no fool. He'd tangled with technomancy, struggled against sparks, this was not the day to waltz with a wizard. "End who do hyu hev to keel to get vun like dot?"

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Challenge #01723-D262: Family is...?

I did not give that spider superhuman intelligence -- RecklessPrudence

Klaus looked at the spider. She was wearing a crinoline made out of her own silk. He turned back to Lord Falderil. "Really?"

"Absolutely not," insisted Lord Falderil. His lab had every known piece of intelligence-augmenting equipment known to Spark-kind and a few more that he had evidently made himself. "She was already intelligent. I've been augmenting myself so that I can keep up."

The giant spider, named Spinnerette, delicately put down

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Challenge #01664-D203: Damnit, Podsbury!

“Wait, do you mean you made a new friend, or you made a new friend?” “Uhh, the first one. Wait, no, the second one... Which one doesn't involve artificially crafted Lovecraftian horrors of medicine?” -- RecklessPrudence

"The second one," sighed Master Brubrik, "Does involve artificially crafted Lovecraftian horrors of medicine," she spared another glance at the thing on the slab. "Which of course means that you mean the latter of those two options."

It had a tentacle wrapped around Podsbury's arm. "Daaaa

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Challenge #01280-C185: One Smoke-filled Afternoon in a Very Special School

Almost causing the apocalypse is an important part of growing up.

(Everyone should do it at least once) -- RecklessPrudence

Smoke was all that remained of the conflagration, and holes in the masonry were the only hint left that a giant robot had found a new means of egress.

"What have we learned, today?" said Mrs Calgary.

Three small children toed the ground as they swung back and forth in their place. "Don' touch th' red button," they chorused.

"Especially when...?" prompted

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Challenge #00960-B229: One Stormy Evening in a Former Enemy's Tool Closet

“What, that? That’s a sword that shoots lightning. That one’s a giant walking disco ball that shoots lightning. That guy’s Albert Einstein shooting lightning. Look, just assume that everything shoots lightning, ok?”

(for context, Google Privateer Press’s miniatures Game Warmachine, specifically the Cygnar faction)

"I'm detecting something of a theme," rumbled Wulfenbach.

"Well, when you conquer the self-declared Lightning Lads, you can expect a little thematic monotony, my Lord."

Wulfenbach rolled his eyes. "Feh. I've seen someone make

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Challenge #00905-B174: Easter Egg

The best kept secret of the jaegermonsters

Jaegermonsters hunt in packs. That much is self-evident. Jaegermonsters are not the brightest candles in the window. That, too, is self-evident.

Lord Palinquest thought he was being clever by separating the invading Jaeger pack in disparate cells in the middle of unique booby-traps in the labyrinth under his castle. He’d even tune in when he was bored to see how they were doing.

What he didn’t know, what none but the most observant

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Challenge #00859-B128: Abominations of Nurture

I need to show [Person] how to repair things properly. Their first instinct is still to reach for a roll of [duct tape]. I just hope I’m not too late. Power corrupts, but the power of duct tape corrupts absolutely.

“Trigellis is a Spark. And Sparks should never be raised in the Holy order of JOATs. Things go… very wrong.”

example,” Pletherly drew the curtains to reveal a contained lab. Where a Spark, presumably Trigellis, was busy piloting a

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Challenge #00855-B124: One Dark and Stormy Evening in an Abandoned Subterranean Clank Lab

“Listen carefully,” they said. “This is absolutely true and not at all a desperate lie.”

Click-clack-clunk. “Previous data indicates that the organic will now lie. Subject… asks… that you do not.”

The human invader paused. “All right. Fine. I don’t want to be trapped in here.”

“Neither do I,” said Subject. “Subject wants… I need… my creator.“

Now the human narrowed their eyes. “You’re not the average clank… are you?”

looked down at the

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Challenge #00328: ...and Wherefores

Gil took longer than most children to grow out of the “why?” stage (either Klaus or Von Pinn dealing with him at that age, you pick, I just want to see toddler!Gil and hilarity)

It was a little celebration amongst the rigger rats. They called it Family Day, and used it to remember the people they had left behind. Gil enjoyed the stories the others told but, when it came to his turn, his joyful mood fell to ash.

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thinkmexican: Paloma Noyola: The Face of Mexico's Unleashed Potential When a report emerged in September 2012 that a girl from one of...


Paloma Noyola: The Face of Mexico’s Unleashed Potential

When a report emerged in September 2012 that a girl from one of Matamoros’ poorest neighborhoods had attained the highest math score in Mexico, some doubted its veracity. It must be fake, they said.

But it wasn’t fake. Her name is Paloma Noyola, and what most reports failed to mention is that almost all of her classmates also scored very high on the national math test. 10 scored in 99.99%

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Challenge #00262: One Fine Afternoon at the Student Labs of Transylvania Polygnostic University

“Pull the lever, ____!”

“Wrong Lever!”

“Reanimation, of course, is a touchy subject. Unauthorised, unwanted reanimation has been the source of many problems. Of course, it’s easier with a construct, which is why we have our projects on the electrified slabs, today.”

Professor Kransky stoked the Lightning Engine and started the turbines. “NOW!” She shouted over the noise. “PULL THE LEVER!”

Oklitov, of course, reached for the

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Prompt: attack of the fire-breathing sheep


“Lord Drixol’s castle is aflame!”

“No it isn’t, it’s a whacking great pile of stone.”

There always had to be a literalist in the crowd. “It’s on fire.“

"His creations are escaping! Run for your lives!”

“Um,” said the literalist. “It’s just one creature.“ They checked their pocket telescope. “And it appears to be a sheep.”

“Lord Drixol made a sheep?”

Three humble

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Prompt: the Klaus Wulfenbach Fan Club


“This city is now part of the Wulfenbach Empire.”


It was not the horrified scream he was used to. These people - all underage women, he noted - were delighted to hear such news. He glared at them. None were familiar faces.

“Are you ladies… all right?”

“EEEeeeeeEEEEEeeeeEEEEEeeee!” One fainted. Three fanned themselves. Two were crying. All seemed ecstatic that he had turned his attentions their ways.

He sighed. Teenaged hysteria. It

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Challenge #00187: One Tempestuous Evening at Club Haxx

Tarvek, Gil and Klaus with accompanying entourage, crashing mid-90’s rave parties aka Night At The Roxbury style.

[AN: I have no idea what Night At The Roxbury is, so I’m going to keep it down to three geniuses in search of an exit]

They knew things had changed. It was hard to miss. For starters, there was an unending klaxon. The space, what looked to be the shell of a gigantic clank maintenance shed, was filled, wall to

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We R Igorth sets up shop in Mechanicsburg.


[AN: Set sometime after Agatha’s return to Mechanicsburg]

They always came to Sparks once a stronghold was established. A tribe of natural minions with a talent for surgery and reanimation. Their balms and poultices could perform miracles still unknown to the rest of modern science.

The Heterodyne kept one on in her castle, on the very good chance that they might come in handy - on one condition.

It was a combination hospice and employment agency, with one name for

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