A 5-post collection

Challenge #02097-E273: Surprise Attackers

"Where are we running to?" asked the panting officer.

"Let's just worry about the away part right now," shouted the private, making a determined effort to run faster than her Captain. -- Anon Guest

There is an old saying, The Brass will kill you. Sooner or later, some lord with a horse and shiny armour will make the world's stupidest decision because that was how it was supposed to go according to some epic poem or some book he read somewhere. Sooner or later, some allegedly superior strategist will decide that your unit is perfect canon fodder for a feint or a distraction or merely a test of the enemy's strength and determination.

A soldier's mission, put simply, is to avoid for as long as possible the consequences of that particular saying. In this particular case, it meant avoiding the riled-up natives of Spider Hollow. Which was not, as it turned out, an ironic misnomer. It was, indeed, full of spiders.

Big spiders. Big, angry spiders who could understand and speak the common tongue. Big, angry, intelligent spiders who were greatly offended by Lord Blaythlocke's assertion that they were, "dumb beasts" who, "couldn't catch a gnat with that mess of a web." They were further offended when he cut a guide-cord of webbing that subsequently put the Queen's nest in peril. Private Yoss wasn't bothered by any of that. She had started backing off at the first sign of irritation from the big and intimidating spiders. Thus giving her a head start when they started to attack.

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Challenge #01774-D313: Tiny New Friend

Giant sapient space spiders meet tiny Earth spiders -- TheDragonsFlame

You need a great amount of arachnophilia to deal with the H'nuff'ruff. The mere sight of having a gigantic spider sneak up on one is not for the faint of heart. Fortunately, Sally thought they were cute, and wore a speech-to-palp-sign translator almost permanently on her brow. She also had a palp-sign-to-text translator permanently running on her eyescreen.

So she definitely did not jump when tapped delicately on the shoulder by a

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Challenge #01723-D262: Family is...?

I did not give that spider superhuman intelligence -- RecklessPrudence

Klaus looked at the spider. She was wearing a crinoline made out of her own silk. He turned back to Lord Falderil. "Really?"

"Absolutely not," insisted Lord Falderil. His lab had every known piece of intelligence-augmenting equipment known to Spark-kind and a few more that he had evidently made himself. "She was already intelligent. I've been augmenting myself so that I can keep up."

The giant spider, named Spinnerette, delicately put down

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Challenge #01186-C091: An Otherwise Sensible Rescue Machine

[Bad situation] - Send help!

Giant Robot spiders have been dispatched to your location. Your help results may vary. -- RecklessPrudence

Certain things are destined to happen when names are chosen for a child. One could imagine, for example, that an infant named Isambard Kingdom would grow up with something to prove[1].

And when one's mother, in all innocence of the written word, had christened her daughter Arachnia Toxicity Blakethorpe-Smythe... Well. Heads would eventually roll.

A lady of breeding may indeed

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sir-doctor-of-the-tardis: captamerican: captamerican: do you see this. do you fucking see this. i'm just minding my own fucking business...




do you see this. do you fucking see this. i’m just minding my own fucking business tryna get a new roll of toilet paper and this fuckin privileged piece of turd thinks it’s ok to hide inside of the roll. it’s not ok. it’s very not ok. do you fucking see this. i fucking touched this motherfucker


Are you from Australia

That’s a Hunstman spider (and a baby one at that. Adults can

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