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A 4872-post collection

Challenge #01162-C067: Ready For Inspection

T'reka (or another of her species) meets a Helmeted Guineafowl -- Gallifreya

The thing about Terrans, when one got down to it, was their fanaticism for introducing things. Some of them, inherently hazardous. Some of them, frankly insane. And some, K'iival found out, previously extinct.

As manager of the Integration Board, she had to inspect and begin the process of clearing Terran species for use or contact with her fellow Numidid in Kal'rike and it's growing satellite settlements.

Some were inherently useful, like the Pony. It's larger cousin, the Horsss, was far too immense for anything but zoos, so far. The youth had an unnerving new habit of falling in love with the animals and finding work for the immense beasts. All so they could flock on Horsss backs and heads and shriek for the joy of it.

Some were frankly ridiculous, like the Dodo.

And these... looked like something else from a museum.

K'iival was used to them being immobile dummies, in recreations. Holding spears or other primitive tools.

But these birds did not have hands.

Willow Valentine managed a nervous rictus. "They're not reconstructed," she said in what K'iival thought of as Colonial Hu'lu, a dialect of Scientific Hu'lu that had adopted and then bastardised useful Terran words. On more formal occasions, Willow would use the more formal tongue.

"What are they?" K'iival had to resort to Life Breathing. These things were...

It was like looking into the abyss and only getting an uncomprehending stare back.

"Humans call them Guinea Fowl. They're birds from Earth. There's -um- been some debate about bringing them out of the gene-stores, but... it turns out we're going to need a lot of guano... and -um- pestcontrol..." The last two words were hurried and mumbled.

Of course Numidid ate insects. It was just... bad manners to snap them out of the air. And there were some species on Toxic Island that looked exactly like food species in Kal'rike... but were varying degrees of poisonous. Further incentive to remember good manners if there ever was one.

"I understand," said K'iival. "They have been altered to stomach the -ah- pests?"

"Of course. Our gengineers know their sh-- stuff. We're just worried about the... um...."

"Obvious cultural insult?" suggested K'iival.

"Yeah, that."

They were the size of children, but did not have a child's markings. And it was difficult to tell the males from the females. "Is there a reason why they're in a full cage?"

"Oh, they fly."

Okay, that was one heck of a differentiation. "My primitive ancestors could only glide. Hands were far more useful to us."

"Yeah. If you like, we can make these guys more obvious. Say the word. We can patch in Safety Orange spots or something. This sample is sterile. For inspection."

Of course they did. The Terrans were amazingly amenable about introducing species. For example, they consciously decided to keep mice and rats from the planet, because of what they did to eggs.

"I..." need to have a quiet panic attack, "will consult with my superiors..."

(Muse food remaining: 30. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01161-C066: Unemployable

:Interview transcript segment:

Interviewee: Why am I the right fit for this job? Well, I'm not sure I'm the right fit for ANY job. I was at a cheap store, and there was this cheesy 'magic wand' lying there. It was out of its wrapper, and I was feeling silly, so I picked it up and said some nonsense. NOW look at me!

:Interviewee appears to be no longer human. Has antennae, three large multifaceted eyes spread equidistant around their head, a

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Challenge #01160-C065: Weird is Universal

A person is the only member of their species in a group, so a lot of their behaviour is passed off as "must be a (species) thing."

Then they meet up with the others and it turns out no, none of them do that, it's a Dave thing. -- Gallifreya

In the interests of diplomacy, crews from various species' crew have been shared out into other species' vessels. I think the Galactic Alliance is trying to engender familiarity with others as a

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Challenge #01159-C064: Not-so-Vital Information

Is there a species in the galactic community large enough to hold a human like a hamster? -- Gallifreya

Taken from the Wikipedia Galactica under the heading of Illogical Questions Asked About Humans...

A: Short form answer: usually not.

Long form answer:

Cogniscents in the Galactic Alliance vary in dimensions and mass. For organic cogniscents, the mass is usually between eight and five hundred Standard Weight Units. There are a few exceptions [see file: Hive Minds] but giants are solely in the

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Challenge #01158-C063: Saint Kurt of the Mutants

One Kurt Wagner, he of the lifelong fear of growing horns, eventually notices the gradually brightening heavenly glow around his head -- Gallifreya

He was half-asleep when the realisation came. Stumbling about in the pre-dawn gloom and not in a state of mind to question anything, Kurt took his shower and was brushing his teeth when he idly wondered what was wrong with the lights.

And then he realised that he hadn't turned them on.

He looked at his reflection in the

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Challenge #01157-C062: Saint Rillfin the Silver-scale

Ignoring all that lore about the rings of horn etc.

Imagine a sparkling, pristine halo perched gently above a pair of horns, and the owner's reaction to this new development. -- Gallifreya

[AN: I'm not certain about that lore, I guess I'll learn later]

Everyone knows about evil dragons. They eat maidens and spread blight, hoard treasure and are otherwise the bad apple that spoils the entire barrel. Most regular dragons try to eliminate them before the knight errant is required.

That

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Challenge #01156-C061: Eternal Knight

I like the idea of an undead paladin. They didn't rise because of some dark god or ritual or necromantic power but by four little words. I. Am. Not. Done. -- RecklessPrudence

The Serf-Page called Scun had watched the Mighty Torpen die. Nobody could possibly survive that many arrows and spears. And yet, Scun watched him fight on. The battle raged on and on as Orc after Orc fell to his blade. Long past the time that Torpen should have collapsed from

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Challenge #01155-C060: One Tiny Flaw

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

And another one -- Gallifreya

"Look," said the proud architect. "It's the perfect sealed environment. Everything anyone could need, including weather systems to strengthen the trees[1]. I thought of everything. Water purification and recycling, food manufacture. I even created a system that eliminates pathogens in the waste recycling system and removes all risks of infections. There's more than adequate space for everyone, lounges and personal space, shared space. Look. There's even a cinema!"

Director

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Challenge #01154-C057: One Ambitious Training Session on Amalgam Station

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

pick one -- Gallifreya

[AN: Only one? They're all gold!]

It was a minor Ambassadorial meet and greet session, allegedly concerning negotiations to stop the Greater Deregulations from being such massive collections of feces towards their fellow human being.

Not acting like massive collections of feces towards non-human cogniscents was going to take significantly more time and effort.

Laws and regulations were not really working. The most the Deregulations would do was show lip service

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Challenge #01152-C055: Different Hats

1) http://scienceisadesiretoknow.tumblr.com/post/139009801040/swingsetindecember-where-a-grad-student-becomes

Grad student is a villain for extra credit and/or money

2) Wander over Yonder - adventures of The Hat when Wander first gets it

(haven't seen it? episodes The Hat and Bad Hatter are the relevant ones, or do a story about Sans and a little orange cat) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Ya know, I could do three... my workload has eased up just recently. But not today, I think. BTW, the overlap

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Challenge #01151-C054: One Blizzard-riddled Afternoon in the Antarctic Circle

Have you seen 'The Thing'? The 1982 one, based on 'Who Goes There?', not the 2011 prequel. Well...

Prometheus: I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of eternity TIED TO THIS FUCKING ROCK! -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: I've seen the 1950's version of The Thing (aka: The Secret Origin of the Flaming Carrot) and I have to wonder about scientist's need to give random shit from space some

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Challenge #01150-C053: Always Question

In a fantasy universe, what about an Agnostic Cleric? Doesn't really believe in any deity, just posts "help wanted" notices on the divine noticeboard. On the upside, has access to all the spell domains. On the downside, you'd be amazed on just what can count as "healing". -- RecklessPrudence

The Rogue watched the Cleric set up for the night. Usually, there was some kind of impromptu altar or extended prayer session, but this Cleric lit a candle and appeared to meditate for

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Challenge #01149-C052: Gods on Their Side

"HOW IS SUMMONING THE GOD-BIRD Of LIGHTNING STEALTHY!?" -- RecklessPrudence

The Cleric stopped in mid-chant. "Excuse you, but The Mighty Thunderbird is a master or mistress of the sneak attack. They glide silently, like a cloud, until they strike."

"But--"

"Their attacks are swift and, by the time the enemy looks, they are no longer there. Trust me. If you want an army annihilated, the all-powerful and Mighty Thunderbird is going to smite them thoroughly. All Glory."

There was a stunned silence

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Challenge #01148-C051: Filling in Time

Channeling Bugs Bunny (maybe Shayde?): "I know this breaks the laws of physics, but you see I never studied law." -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Yes, Shayde did study the laws of physics, but she also found some loopholes]

They were waiting for the dust to settle and Security had already confiscated Shayde's guitar. Possibly out of self-defence. Which meant a series of increasingly unlikely self-entertainments that she pulled out of her trans-dimensional 'pockets'.

One day, Rael supposed, they would learn that Shayde was

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Challenge #01147-C050: One for the Books

Admiral [Name] was arrested for extreme tactical and strategic stupidity.

(maybe something on one of Miles' reports? Either as an ImpSec agent to Simon, or as an Auditor to Gregor?) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Well it certainly wouldn't happen in my pet universe... the Peter Principle has been rendered null and void]

Ensign Swinton chafed under the command of Admiral Voreckles. He would not promote without combat experience and he refused to allow female officers and staff into combat at all. He assigned

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