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Challenge #01612-D151: Our "Hero"

"So the only defences are [Cosmic Chew Toy] and the automated ones."

"...which means, the only defences are the automated stuff." -- RecklessPrudence

The ship's human was a Lucker. Unfortunately for him, all that luck was bad. Unfortunately for everyone around him, he had the deplorable tendency to blame everyone and everything else around him except himself. Edger Arnold never got officially tested for the Luck Gene, and said it was against his religion to do so. Nevertheless, all the signs were there.

Just as success seemed to be in Edger's reach, he always managed to pull the rug out from under himself. All his cases of "I'll do it later" neglect exploded in his face. Sometimes literally. Enough to hurt, but not enough for permanent damage. In the unlikely event of a promotion, a messy and publically embarrassing demotion was bound to follow soon after. He never rose to the level of his incompetence. He was his level of incompetence.

And all the crew knew it. So when a Vorax ship turned up and the Elemental Force managed to dodge out of sensor range by the skin of their collective mouth parts, the Captain asked for options.

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Challenge #01611-D150: Two Birds

"HOW?"

"You know, I learned a long time ago that if you say that in any matter relating to [Person], if you even get an answer it will probably lead to more questions." -- RecklessPrudence

They used to say, "if a problem's big enough, the Glunk will take care of it" on Amalgam Station. As a hostile biohazard, it was unique in the known universe. For a start, it was the only known biohazard in civilisation that counted as its own district.

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Challenge #01610-D149: Long Live the Leader

A single powerful person who is convinced of their own Rightness with no thought of introspection or means of restraint is dangerous, moreso to others than to themselves. -- Anon Guest

Jack didn't just believe in the Leader. He had a firm and unwavering Belief in the leader. Jack was wont to Believe with all his heart and soul. Though he still prayed to the God of the holy works, the Leader was the next best thing to a foretold coming. The

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Challenge #01609-D148: We're So Much Better Now

There are pieces of Historical Machinery, there are Collections of Musical instruments and some lucky souls get to care for them, keep them running and in the case of stringed instruments take them out and play them so they sound right. -- Anon Guest

They say the Archivaas collect everything and never throw anything away. This is very close to the truth. Most Archivaas know the impossibility of saving a physical version of everything and keep digital plans, instructions, or copies. The

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Challenge #01608-D147: Repent Now...

[Name] sighed and turned back to their paperwork. In the scant few minutes they’d been talking with the other person, the paper seemed to have multiplied. It was breeding. There was a giant paperwork orgy going on right on their desk, and it was all they could do to fill out forms faster than they were produced. -- RecklessPrudence

They say paperwork is hell. They don't have the half of it. Imagine the largest offices in the world. Floor after floor

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Challenge #01607-D146: Hermit Permit Pending

"To be honest, I hadn’t planned on the whole Dark Lord thing. It just sort of happened." -- RecklessPrudence

It's not easy being a hermit. Especially not when random adventurers get lost and mistake your cave for a dragons' lair or the entrance to the goblin caverns or something of the ilk. I had to learn a few spells just to protect what little I have from their greedy hands. It takes days to make a decent bowl. And the rogues

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Challenge #01606-D145: Miss Handling

"You place too much trust in me, I think."

"Until you can place more trust in yourself you may rely on mine in you." -- RecklessPrudence

Rael got the shock of his life just being invited to someone else's home. Five seconds inside the door, he got one big enough to turn his entire body silver.

Officer Lyr Marken, Subchief of Security for the JOAT sector of the Elemeno, had just handed him her infant daughter. With nothing more than a negligent,

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Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Us humans have skin lotions and hair straighteners/curlers - what do other species do to improve the Outer Alien? -- Anon Guest

There are things you can sell anywhere. Popcorn, for example, is the only known deathworlder food that is so inoffensive that it can be sold to Havenworlders. Many more things change uses between species.

"What is this liquid?"

"We call it 'varnish'. It's a clear polymer coat that adds shine to static surfaces."

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Challenge #01604-D143: They Grow So Fast

How about one where Aliens are stunned at the absurd growth rate/ regenerative properties that humans seem to have. Either for something as small as fingernails or hair needing constant maintenance, to 'how did that child grow a full METER in the ten years I was absent?!' -- Anon Guest

Human Steff had reproduced. Live birthing was trauma enough for most of the crew, but the idea that humans could be small and fragile was overwhelming. These mammals had to be

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Challenge #01603-D142: Eat Snax

"Fat grubs in butter sauce." this was from a Lizard culture's idea of Snack Food. Humans have popcorn, crisps, peanuts etc. So how about one of those Snack Food van equivalents that caters to various species, and make a good living thereby. -- Knitnan

Eat Snax the sign blared in potentially noxious colours. Underneath, a more staid sign discreetly told the observant that this was a suggestion and not an order. Inside the ludicrously small booth, a popcorn popper was doing its

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Challenge #01602-D141: Farewell Letter

[TITLE: Constant vigilance or endless confusion.] One of those sayings that are only too true, put your own spin on this one. -- Knitnan

They say, It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. They say, pesimists are rarely disappointed. They are frequently right about this sort of thing. They really are out to get me. And I am very rarely disappointed in my expectations. Any day, they will find me. They will do horrible things. It's what they

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Challenge #01601-D140: Unseen Creatures

You washed two, now there's only one sock. Black Hole? Alternate dimension? Sir P'Terry's sock Eater? -- Anon Guest.

Even in the modern day, there are things unknown to magic or science. The hidden creatures that have so far evaded notice by the common and uncommon worlds. They eke out an existence in the forgotten corners. And live where you'd never notice them. One such creature is the line-dangling shoe lark, which exclusively nests in the shoes random people throw over the

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Challenge #01600-D139: Best in the Business

[TITLE: Acme Showroom.] You know Acme - All those cartoons. Especially the 'Roadrunner" -- Anon Guest

It was pristine. It was flashy. This company, the architecture screamed, has made a lot of money. You should invest in this company, it said. It's a wise choice.

The objects of pride were on revolving plinths. They had never been used, and they were polished regularly. Everything looked like the pinnacle of engineering.

It was a wonder how this company got sued in the first

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Challenge #01599-D138: Manifested Destiny

But the [Tech] is on the fritz due to what I believe would be classified as 'bombardment by an angry god', which violates your warranty, as we all know. -- RecklessPrudence

The Smudger hemmed and hawed over the broom. Ran a pendulum over the length of it and whistled backwards, the sure sign that something expensive was about to happen. "Are you sure you haven't angered any gods?" they said.

"Not to my knowledge," said Duji. She had her knitting out because

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Challenge #01598-D137: That's One Bad Week

[Bad news]

[Worse news]

[Extremely horrible news]

[ohmygodwhatthefuck news]

One of the people who have to deal with it all, to the rest of same: ...well people, I'd say it's about time to drink ourselves into the mother of all stupors. It's been that kind of week. -- RecklessPrudence

First, the Gravity Drive failed. They still had internal gravity, but the virtual black hole in front of the bow that towed them along at CTL speeds[1] was no longer operational. The

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