Amalgam Universe

A 2349-post collection

Challenge #01198-C103: Pax Haptis

There was more added to the petting post from earlier

“we were going to blow them up, but they engaged in an oddly pleasing patting ritual and, well, it was nice.” -- Gallifreya

They had charged into a human nest that had already been abandoned. Some fired at stationary vehicles. Some fired at mannequins. Some fired because they feared for their lives. But when nothing fired back, the troup took their fingers off their triggers and looked around.

Somehow, the humans had detected them coming and left the area.

Hoxx tread softly through the empty streets. Trying to divine meaning from the alien structures. Humans certainly loved right-angles. It was creepy.

An alert went off. Mandatory sustenance time. He hid in an alley, behind another container for refuse. Under a grid and some boxes that at least felt like a proper burrow. Only there, with the illusion of safety, did Hoxx feel secure enough to eat his rations.

His HUD told him that other members of the troup were doing similar things. There was nothing on his scanners big enough to be a threat. Animals. Some Terran ones, domesticated and left behind, or native ones come to investigate the nutritional content of the refuse containers.

Hoxx concentrated on his food. Best to eat as fast as he could so he and his troup could get on with clearing this area. He ignored the animal on his HUD, directly above his position. All his focus was on his food.

Which was why Hoxx didn't notice that he was being soothingly touched until the toucher started scratching. Firm keratin digging into his itchiest places definitely got his attention.

And there were none of his nest-mates with him.

Hoxx looked up. The animal was not an animal, but a human child. Barely past the infancy stage. Grubby, of course. Perhaps it, too, had been scavenging like the animals.

"Kitty," said the human.

Hoxx stayed very still, chewing his last mouthful. The most dangerous species in the known universe is grooming me. He un-huddled and inspected the box that the human juvenile was in. And the human with it.

The human took this opportunity to use both hands. It was different from nesting, but eminently pleasing. And almost lulled Hoxx to sleep.

The rest of his troup were very shocked to see him carrying a human. It clung to his arm like a squippet, and made a strange noise that seemed to be an indicator of enjoyment.

It sounded something like, giggle giggle giggle.

Hoxx assured his troop that this human meant no harm, and showed them it's 'petting' ritual. They passed the human around, all enjoying the grooming and scratching.

*

"Alpha One. Come in."

David took up the comms. "Alpha one sentry reporting. I have eyes on the hostiles, sir, but... They're not hostile. Not any more."

"What? Explain!"

"You remember that kid that was unaccounted for? Well, um. She's currently petting the enemy, sir."

There was a long pause.

"Evac base, do you copy?"

"Yeah, I copy, I just don't believe it. I'm sending one scout with comms on to investigate and attempt communication."

"Roger that." David sat, watching, during the most tense and terrifying hour he had ever lived. It was true that four-year-olds were fearless. And this tiny scrap of a kid, a foster child with a knack for running off and hiding at exactly the wrong moments, had done it right, this time.

Like it or not, a small child named Bell had become an ambassador by wanting to pet the kitties. And the Tigrids obviously liked her.

(Muse food remaining: 47. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01194-C099: Close Encounter of the Petting Kind

http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/141217786307/cosmictuesdays-trynottodrown-zooophagous -- Gallifreya

The problem was that there were humans on this planet, too. The bigger problem was that there were more of them than there were charges in Braxxyx's stunner.

The only plus side was that the humans didn't know this. Or that the stunner was non-lethal. Humans were dangerous to begin with. They were aggressive if they thought you were deadly.

Do not shoot at humans, they are dangerous when offended.

Braxxyx pointed her

Read more »

Challenge #01190-C095: The Journals of Terry Six

http://soggywarmpockets.tumblr.com/post/141055057822/audiencecat-songofsunset-fireandwonder

that one with the regenerating species got more added - a misunderstanding with a much happier result -- Gallifreya

Taken from Journal of Observations: Human reproduction:

There is an ancient Terran song, one of the ones that is hard to get out of the mind-space after it is introduced. There is a refrain within it, Ob la dee, ob la da, life goes on, rah. La la, how the life goes on.

My name is

Read more »

Challenge #01188-C093: In Sense'd

1) http://scienceisadesiretoknow.tumblr.com/post/141075139346

2) Remember that mystical "sight" thing the humans have? Well my kid is apparently a fan and now they're trying to do it too. -- Gallifreya

1)

"I keep telling you to invest in aluminium upgrades," Angie sighed, adding just enough coefficient friction to slide Trevor off of the wall mount for the knives. "Why do you keep going near that thing, anyway."

"I couldn't find the paprika."

"We're out. I told you to get

Read more »

Challenge #01163-C068: With Cat-like Tread

http://scienceisadesiretoknow.tumblr.com/post/139059138214 -- Gallifreya

The humans had one question when they were invited to display some of their culture for the Numidid in Kal'rike. It was: "How much pyrotechnics are we allowed to use?"

After some research into what pyrotechnics actually were, the answer was, "None, please."

Their letter of acknowledgement and compliance read as more than a little disappointed, but they were showing a willingness to please.

Deathworlders in the capital!

The arena where they were displaying

Read more »

Challenge #01162-C067: Ready For Inspection

T'reka (or another of her species) meets a Helmeted Guineafowl -- Gallifreya

The thing about Terrans, when one got down to it, was their fanaticism for introducing things. Some of them, inherently hazardous. Some of them, frankly insane. And some, K'iival found out, previously extinct.

As manager of the Integration Board, she had to inspect and begin the process of clearing Terran species for use or contact with her fellow Numidid in Kal'rike and it's growing satellite settlements.

Some were inherently useful,

Read more »

Challenge #01160-C065: Weird is Universal

A person is the only member of their species in a group, so a lot of their behaviour is passed off as "must be a (species) thing."

Then they meet up with the others and it turns out no, none of them do that, it's a Dave thing. -- Gallifreya

In the interests of diplomacy, crews from various species' crew have been shared out into other species' vessels. I think the Galactic Alliance is trying to engender familiarity with others as a

Read more »

Challenge #01159-C064: Not-so-Vital Information

Is there a species in the galactic community large enough to hold a human like a hamster? -- Gallifreya

Taken from the Wikipedia Galactica under the heading of Illogical Questions Asked About Humans...

A: Short form answer: usually not.

Long form answer:

Cogniscents in the Galactic Alliance vary in dimensions and mass. For organic cogniscents, the mass is usually between eight and five hundred Standard Weight Units. There are a few exceptions [see file: Hive Minds] but giants are solely in the

Read more »

Challenge #01155-C060: One Tiny Flaw

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

And another one -- Gallifreya

"Look," said the proud architect. "It's the perfect sealed environment. Everything anyone could need, including weather systems to strengthen the trees[1]. I thought of everything. Water purification and recycling, food manufacture. I even created a system that eliminates pathogens in the waste recycling system and removes all risks of infections. There's more than adequate space for everyone, lounges and personal space, shared space. Look. There's even a cinema!"

Director

Read more »

Challenge #01154-C057: One Ambitious Training Session on Amalgam Station

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

pick one -- Gallifreya

[AN: Only one? They're all gold!]

It was a minor Ambassadorial meet and greet session, allegedly concerning negotiations to stop the Greater Deregulations from being such massive collections of feces towards their fellow human being.

Not acting like massive collections of feces towards non-human cogniscents was going to take significantly more time and effort.

Laws and regulations were not really working. The most the Deregulations would do was show lip service

Read more »

Challenge #01148-C051: Filling in Time

Channeling Bugs Bunny (maybe Shayde?): "I know this breaks the laws of physics, but you see I never studied law." -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Yes, Shayde did study the laws of physics, but she also found some loopholes]

They were waiting for the dust to settle and Security had already confiscated Shayde's guitar. Possibly out of self-defence. Which meant a series of increasingly unlikely self-entertainments that she pulled out of her trans-dimensional 'pockets'.

One day, Rael supposed, they would learn that Shayde was

Read more »

Challenge #01143-C046: Can it, Carol!

"Hmph. I'll have you know, that whole thing is just a horrid example of misinformation."

"You're basically a two-meter-tall mantis from our perspective. Humans assuming you devoured your mate was kinda to be expected... namely since, uh, you did."

"Well, yes... but not before he was dead! We do have laws, you know. Such is our way for those who are gone. Your kind just throws them in a dirty hole to rot or burns them to ash. How wasteful." -- Gallifreya

Read more »

Challenge #01138-C041: All Things Spadge

Some of the nicknames make sense - their name sounds a little like that word and a slip of the tongue gives them a moniker for life.

But how the heck did nicknames like (RL example) Spadge happen? --Gallifreya

[AN: Dunno how it happened to your friend, but...]

The new crewmember had a special word. A word for all things. A word that could mean all things. And after a week of hearing things like:

"This is complete Spadge."

"I love

Read more »

Challenge #01137-C040: Special Education

The routine butchering of names by various species that have trouble with minor inflections in other languages which inevitably results in silly nicknames - T'reka > Trekker, for instance, or to borrow from another author, Usze > Uzi and N'tho > Nitro -- Gallifreya

Names are important. Across the Gallactic Alliance, all cogniscent beings had a string of sounds or signals that meant 'this is me'. And some... could get quite picky about it.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Rail," said the human.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Ray

Read more »

Challenge #01121-C024: Humans Are Space Orcs

A couple of case studies that had managed to be kept away from the general galactic knowledge pool (except under specific licensing and non-disclosure contracts) come to light - the cases of Phineas Gage, James Brady, Ahad Israfil and others that have suffered massive head injuries and made practically full recoveries, despite the loss of large amounts of brain. (And often despite the lack of medical care of the time - Phineas's accident was in the 1820s)

(Warning for Ahad, pictures from

Read more »