Amalgam Universe

A 2349-post collection

Challenge #01120-C023: Irreconcilably Different

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/137972037479/songofsunset-fireandwonder-songofsunset -- Gallifreya

[AN: I know for a fact that there's a really bizarre bug out there. Its young can only eat this super-rare fungal growth, and they solve the problem of making more babies by having one larva gestate like a billion more larvae inside it as it eats. I can't find the name of the thing for life of me. I know David Attenborough talked about it, but that still leaves a lot of territory to search]

The crew of the Endeduanna Akkad first met P'terii after a crash that impact-welded their ships together. Ze had just regenerated and was in a perfect frame of mind to encounter new things. Like humans. It didn't take the humans long to reduce "P'terii'CH!altath'q'voqq" to "Terry".

And it didn't take long for P'terii to more or less adopt some of the humans aboard their now-welded vessels. Mary, P'terii, Bob, and Unique formed a sort of impromptu family. And became the primary means by which each species learned about each other.

The Krik'kik'u had something of a unique survival mechanism. Trauma made babies happen. Any significant trauma resulted in a form of re-pupal stage in which the entire body regenerated. Extreme trauma resulted in multiple rebirths. With each 'child' carrying an ancestral knowledge of its former 'parent'. Of course, they preferred to continue in the more traditional way to procreate, but disaster-related regeneration allowed for stronger genetics.

For instance, their pupal chrysalises could withstand hard vacuum, radiation, near zero kelvin temperatures, and atmospheric re-entry up to a pressure of three atmospheres, and would not open unless the surrounding environment was satisfactory.

P'terii was the fifth iteration of hirself, and thus got the moniker, "Terry Five".

The real trouble began when Mary had an epileptic fit. P'terii skittered up a wall and out of the way, watching in horrified fascination as one of hir favourite humans twitched uncontrollably.

Hir first question was, "When is baby?"

Mary, now in the infirmary for observation, sighed and said, "We don't do what you, do, Terry Five. My brain misfired, today. It doesn't cause anything else to happen."

"You having no breeding season. You having no hurt babies. How is you safe for space?"

"We're tougher than we look," Mary laughed.

P'terii went into the Endeduanna's libraries and read up on human injuries. Ze became obsessed with it, about how humans were struck and impaired and did not have babies. Ze could understand limb trauma. Hir kind had overcome that hurdle some hundreds of generations previously. But head or organ trauma.

"I have it!" P'terii crowed. "You are removing generational organs in pre-flight. No tax of resources."

"No," cooed Unique. "We take special chemicals that stop breeding."

"Humans be strange," muttered P'terii. And that seemed to be the end of it.

Until Mary died.

It was, in retrospect, a stupid accident. Nobody had checked a valve that burst while Mary was in an iso-lab, flooding the environment with toxins that killed her before she could reach the emergency breath-mask.

P'terii followed along on hir high perch. Watching over Mary's body as the rest of the crew took her to the infirmary and then prepared her for repatriation. She would spend the month until their next station stop in cold storage in the hold. But not before a service in her memory.

P'terii didn't ask questions until they put her away. "Is inhospitable environment? Or is necessary."

"Is necessary," said Bob, resorting to broken GalStand because it was the one language they all understood.

"When is coming back?"

Unique burst out crying. She was a loud and messy crier with the occasional side-order of shrieking. Doctor Laks escorted her away for sedation.

"Mary isn't coming back, Terry."

"I know. Not as Mary. When is replacing?"

"It's going to be one month before we can re-hiring..."

"No. No. Is not meaning. Is meaning..." P'terii sighed. Some concepts were hard to communicate. "Mary is give P'terii book, P'terii want for asking of new-Mary - Is self allowed for keeping, or new-Mary wanting for relearning thing?"

Counsellor Xad finally got it. "No. Terry. Humans don't do what you do. When we stop... we stop forever."

"But in books... you has re-incarnation. The Jesus man. The Eternal Doctor."

"Terry... Those are just stories. They're things we make up because we wish they would happen. Mary is gone. She won't ever be coming back."

P'terii laughed. A nervous series of hiccoughs. "Is big joke? Not being true. If is true, then best-human Mary... Never-never? No. Mary... Mary is..." A hiss that bordered on a screech, the way that the Krik'kik'u expressed sorrow. "I must away."

Two weeks later, when P'terii emerged from their ship, they emerged as P'terii Six. Hir carapace was bright new colours and, according to hir, ze was a different gender.

"We have two weeks before station-call. Will you be all right with us shipping Mary's remains off? Do you want to say goodbye again?"

P'terii's pincers twitched, and hir feet scratched against the flooring. "Mary? Ah. My prior self was... fond of her. I regret the loss, but you can do your human thing without me there."

Unique bit her lip and wiped her face. Well. Krik'kik'u were not human. They had entirely -well- alien ways of dealing with things. She let P'terii deal with it how ze wished. But she did notice that P'terii Six had a habit of checking all the safety features, at least once a day.

What happened to Mary would never happen to another.

The borrowed book was never mentioned again.

(Muse food remaining: 44. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01112-C015: Performance Piece

A scrap of data is recovered. Death's Belief Speech, from Hogfather. Doesn't matter if it's the book or the movie.

For those who haven't read it, a clip from the movie is here.

Not as anything unique to humanity, but rather as a comment on Sophonts as a whole, from a human who would have very much liked to meet the rest of the universe. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: I would also love to meet the rest of the universe, but I have

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Challenge #01111-C014: To be Good Parents

Speaking of created peoples - whether biology or technology-based - and whether they can be trusted/will rebel/will have morals/all the standard concerns:

"If we do our jobs right, our children are better people than we are." -- RecklessPrudence

The station officials had cleared out a medbay for the anxious parents. A standard Medik and a Wave of the Future Medtech stood by. Patient and implacable.

It was one thing to be first-time parents. It was an entirely different level

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Challenge #01106-C009: Once More, Into the Brig...

"It's a thrilling tale of a dried apricot, four bags of flour, and a torch." -- Gallifreya

Ax'and'l blinked very slowly. It was telling that he was getting used to these levels of crap. And if he let on, he knew that Hwell would only invent new and more interesting levels of crap.

"Save it for getting free drinks at the bars, and even then, I'm letting it known about your capacity limit." He sighed and turned to the Security Guard. "What's

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Challenge #01095-B363: But What Does it Mean?

Another sentence for SPoE(n): “Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.” And other words that exemplify the "superiority" and "purity" of English: http://mentalfloss.com/article/57032/25-words-are-their-own-opposites -- RecklessPrudence

They had given Shayde a piece of paper preserved under glass. In a special room with careful lighting. Between the half-words on either side, an innocuous sentence.

Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.

It was news print. The other side

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Challenge #01085-B353: The Cosmic Balldance

Shayde, a costume party, and hundreds of miniscule self-adhesive glow in the dark stars. -- Gallifreya

Of all the reasons that humans had found to throw a party, the autumn festival of Halloween confused him the most. Mediaeval superstition met a modern-day desire for revelry head-on in a display of both ingenuity and greed.

Case in point, the Ambassador of 1986TCE[1] Shayde F. Pitt was throwing a Halloween ball. It promised to be one of the more colourful human celebrations. And

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Challenge #01080-B348: It Used to be a Good Shortcut...

Person #1: You're talking about shoving me in a torpedo and launching me at a planet!

Person #2: Details! Now shut up and get in there. -- RecklessPrudence

"No," said Rael. "I'm a little tired of being treated like some immensely indestructible thing for everyone else's convenience."

"But you are a-- mmmumf mmmf mfflmmff."

"Blakely. Can it." The captain took a deep breath. "You're right. We should have consulted you. But these Sargasso-style pirates have rigged it so that only the smallest

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Challenge #01078-B346: A Miracle by the Riverside

We have a saying, "They're not dead 'til they're warm and dead" -- Gallifreya

Lizards watched in alarm as the humans pulled the child out of the freezing water. Limp and lifeless, the sad scrap of a life seemed beyond salvage. And yet...

The humans around the baby were working tirelessly to instil life into the apparently lifeless. They stripped off wet clothes. Wrapped the tiny body in foil and applied heating blankets. Warmed up bags of saline to plumb into the

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Challenge #01073-B341: One Lazy Afternoon in Shayde's Entertainment Lounge

Is laughing at someone doing something stupid and reaping the consequences a very human thing?

"They're fine, so it's funny"

Even the idiot that tried to go sledding on a bin lid is laughing (leg in plaster optional)

"Look how far I flew when I came off!" -- Gallifreya

"What the living heck is this?" demanded Rael.

On her screen, two 'knights' in cardboard armour sat in shopping trolleys and held broomsticks like lances. They faced off at opposite sides of a

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Challenge #01070-B338: One Slow Afternoon at Unsuitable Food Eat

EUREKA!

Which is greek for "This bath is %*£&ing cold!" -- Gallifreya

"I thought it meant, 'hand me a towel'."

"I heard it was, 'there's a cockroach in the bath'."

"No, no, no. It really means, 'is my time up already'."

Shayde, gloomily watching her joke plummet like a leaden balloon that was currently on fire, tapped the countertop for another fudge sundae. "What goes around comes around," she sighed. "And this one went around so often it's no' a joke

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Challenge #01064-B332: The Pros and Cons of Cute

That one ambassador that has at this point given up on avoiding being picked up and cuddled/held/used as a large teddy bear, and just gets on with paperwork (or listens/chats/relaxes/reads a book/takes a nap) while their fur/scales/feathers are groomed by whoever got them this time, so long as they don't have any appointments to get to. -- Gallifreya

[Re-using Ambassador Ha'ri from story #00761, available for purchase in the next Instants Anthology (coming soon)

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Challenge #01062-B330: One Miserable Evening in a Wave of the Future Science Outpost

Strange how believing in "the greater good" makes doing "necessary evils" so much more tolerable... -- Anon Guest

[AN: I saw your comment on this, RecklessPrudence. Was this you? If so, I'll re-attribute]

Rael was supposed to be resting in his heated tank. Certainly, his body was resting, but he was not insensate. He could hear the argument going on between his creators and the owners of Wave of the Future. He could not see them, and he didn't particularly want to.

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Challenge #01056-B324: For a Dog to Tear

Hachiko, Greyfriars Bobby, Fido, Shep, and every other dog on all three subsections of this list

By the way, to get the full tearjerking experience, for every dog on that list that has a full article, read it as well. -- RecklessPrudence

Etta was getting used to it, even though it broke her heart. Every day, for their morning walk, Boy would insist on trying to find his Master. The routine included visiting his former home in the JOAT sector, and visiting

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Challenge #01053-B321: Subtle(n)...

We're going to be subtle with high explosives

My favourite kind of subtle! -- RecklessPrudence

There are certain things that worry Galactic Citizens about humans. The thing that worried them most was when they got very quiet. Despite the fact that a sleeping human is a safe human, a quiet human is usually involved in working something out.

Ax'and'l had learned that only slightly more dangerous was a human who was muttering to themselves. Only more dangerous was when they stopped muttering

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Challenge #01052-B320: The Way to Win is Not to Play

"If I can't win, I don't want to play!" -- Anon Guest

Emperor Gregor "Elf-hand" of Vardia always displayed his shortened hand at the negotiations table. It put the wind up the other side. They knew the story, without a doubt. Mainly because he had someone as part of his staff whose job it was to tell it.

Anyone entering the negotiations room would stare, and then try to not stare. And fail. And they'd spend the rest of the talks being

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