pick one -- Gallifreya
[AN: Only one? They're all gold!]
It was a minor Ambassadorial meet and greet session, allegedly concerning negotiations to stop the Greater Deregulations from being such massive collections of feces towards their fellow human being.
Not acting like massive collections of feces towards non-human cogniscents was going to take significantly more time and effort.
Laws and regulations were not really working. The most the Deregulations would do was show lip service to any of them and immediately return to business as normal the instant the Galactic Alliance turned their backs.
So now the Alliances were working on exposure therapy. Allowing delegates and representatives to open their eyes by showing them that the Other is not at all as threatening as they were wont to believe.
Which meant that all other humans in the room were frequently exposed to backwards compliments, like mad libs around, "You're pretty [COMPLIMENT] for a [SLUR]."
Rael was there to stop Shayde flying off the handle. He kept a firm grip on one of her elbows at all times and muttered things into their personal comms to attempt to keep her calm.
He was down to a list of After-Party treats. Number one on the list was always good to halve her stress levels.
"Consortium of Steam concert, following the meeting," Rael murmured. "With chocolates and a jam session. And you're going to take me on a merry-go-round, later. Figgy duffs at Unsuitable Food Eat..." What else, what else, what else? Ah. Yes. "A hot bath and a good snuggle session. Consecutively, in whichever order you please."
Synchronicity or Shayde's eldritch mutterings made the entire room go quiet enough for all the delegates and Ambassadors to hear one representative of Greater Deregulation North by Northwest say, "I'VE ONLY DONE ANAL TWICE, OKAY?"
The defensive cluster of Greater Deregulations realised that Shayde was also in the room, and turned their eyes to Shayde's pointy grin.
Never before had a cogniscent running their tongue over their teeth been subject to such terrified scrutiny.
"Don't do it," Rael subvocalised into their comms. "I can hear what you're thinking about and please don't do it. The fate of the future is in your hands. Please. For the love of your god... Don't. Do. It."
Shayde cleared her throat. Because it was her, it sounded like a harbinger of certain doom.
"...please don't do it?" Rael begged. Possibly far too late.
Instead of her usual crass ribaldry, she said, "Thank ye fer sharin', Greater Deregulation North by Northwest. If yer curiosity returns, ye might find an abundance o' lube advantageous."
The party wound to a quick and embarrassed halt, shortly thereafter.
Rael was the only one who heard her quiet cackling. "You'd do anything to get to a Consortium show, won't you?"
Her grin was still pointy and slightly menacing. "I honestly don't know what yer talkin' about... I did everythin' I was supposed to."
"With almost military precision, I noticed."
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