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Amalgam Universe

A 2348-post collection

Challenge #01732-D271: Ageing Ungracefully

Still, working on their manners ... I don't know if there are any etiquette schools around known space who take enrollments from intelligent battleships. -- RecklessPrudence

Humans love war. It is a well-known fact. In their early history, they would war with opposing factions of humans, different coloured humans, and, in a large swathe of history covering the pre-Shattering period, nouns. They don't often talk about the war they lost against emus, though.

Given their love of war, it was no surprise that the first vessels of the United Fellowship of Terran planets were battleships. They took every advancement they had ever made in their numerous battlefields and figured out how to bring that weaponry with them into space. It must have been quite a shock when the Hungry Caterpillar and other devices rendered battle obsolete. Humanity sulked for a decade or three, but they never got rid of their battleships. They'd show them off to other warlike civilisations and make displays of strength with them, but they didn't recommission them at all. It took Galactic Society some years to find out why.

At least one of them is alive.

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Challenge #01730-D269: Comeback

Deep fried Mars Bar. The dreaded chip buttie (fries on a buttered bun), Floater (Aussie effort: Meat pie floating in pea soup). -- KnitNan

"I've been everywhere," said Shayde, mis-estimating the size of the station by cubic klicks[1]. "Nobody around even knows what fries are an' I'm gaggin' fer a chip buttie."

Nik, overhearing this complaint to the universe at large, gestured her to come closer to his cooking station. "Tell me about these things you call 'fries' and the... chip

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Challenge #01729-D268: Swap Met

The Amalgam equivalent of the combined Swap Meet and Car Boot Sale (of course there are no cars on Amalgam - tow trolleys?). -- Anon Guest

They were called Swap Shops, and they were scattered randomly. They tended to crop up in poorer areas and public service zones. It was where those who had the time to spare on pet projects dropped those projects off to exchange with whatever they desired. Edibles were kept in Stasis Lockers. Everything else was placed wherever

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Challenge #01728-D267: 'Tis But a Scratch

"So, you're telling me that even if a human tried to kill himself by stabbing his head, he could be perfectly fine if the blade goes between the hemispheres of the brain without damaging anything ?"

"Yup, and I didn't talk about Phineas Gage, who got a large iron rod through the head and survived without some part of his brain, or the war veteran who survived a bullet through the heart. Even if we don't have exoskeleton, we are pretty resilient. This

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Challenge #01725-D264: Blind Spot

"You can't just get lucky and expect everyone to treat you like an expert!"

"Why not? That's what you did?" -- Anon Guest

Ambassador Shayde glared at the junior aide. "I'm no' merely lucky," she said. "I got into the Ambassador gig by pure accident. Fer all that's happened, I could'a well had a knowledge base that missed everythin' the Archivaas ever had. I could'a been dismissed as a dangerous fraud if I'd never met th' Consortium o' Steam or no' known

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Challenge #01719-D258: Near Lethal Combination

Finally, almost thirty-five minutes into their wait and seventeen minutes into [Responsible Authority Figure]'s scolding ([RAF's best friend, Shit-Stirrer] kept track; the record was thirty-four minutes, twenty-seven seconds, which [Shit-Stirrer] was ashamed to admit was on account of [much-less-responsible person RAF is mentoring in the ways of fighting both physical and magical, often compared to an excitable puppy] and masochistically determined to beat)... -- RecklessPrudence

If enthusiasm was light, Paxifraxx would be a pulsar. Deadly when aimed in the right direction,

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Challenge #01718-D257: Where Angels Fear

[Name] is a professional adventurer/planet saver with extremely acute hearing. The other speaker is their much calmer and more logical, though not necessarily smarter, best friend)

[Name] buried the pillow over their head and groaned.

“I can’t tell if those are gunshots or fireworks,” they whined.

“Do not be silly, [Name]. Fireworks are illegal on this planet.” -- RecklessPrudence

There's a reason why Iman Goodboy spends most of her time in her livesuit. She could control how much of the

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Challenge #01717-D256: Show of Faith

"Shhhhh." [Name] put a finger to both of their lips. "Let's just enjoy this. Things are going to be awful in a few hours, but right now I've tricked myself into thinking we can handle this. Let me bask in it." -- RecklessPrudence

The human had a mantra for everything that was going wrong. Human Steve was multitasking. Gathering and patching and applying gum and ductape as fast as their two hands could manage. The mantra was four words, "I can handle

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Challenge #01716-D255: One Pot Screamer

Hwell Barrow gets his hands on "knurd" that Discworld drink that you wake up sober with. He drank a Lot! -- Knitnan

Shayde is old enough to remember what 'Kickapoo Joy Juice' was, and when she or her friends were studying for extreme lengths of time, she had invented 'Kikyernuts Brain Fire'. Which was a carefully-calibrated mixture of every stimulant known to mankind at the time. In a dose so strong that it was fractionally short of being lethal. She had a

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Challenge #01713-D252: A Lesson For All

"Bellringer Sale! 80% off". Then the bell began to ring. -- Anon Guest

The luckless staffmember ringing the bell was on a stone plinth that served most of its time as a display area that could also be sat upon if a shopper was desperate enough. The shoppers were not desperate for a seat, right now. What they were desperate for was a bargain.

A rolling sea of humanity, flooding the area. A surge made of pure greed.

There were no staff

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Challenge #01712-D251: The One That Got Away

The sign said "Wet Paint". -- Anon Guest

It said it in English, and it said it whilst affixed to a filthy-looking wall. There was something incredibly suspicious about all of this. Especially since this was apparently a derelict in the middle of nowhere with no alarms, diverse or otherwise.

Some part of Jen was screaming, Honey trap! But it was in stiff competition with the part of her that was so very tempted to see if the sign was telling the

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Challenge #01711-D250: The Best of Luck

Lucker, who's "Gift" is to bring Luck to others - and makes a good living out of it. -- Knitnan

I don't take chances. In my case, it's a 100% chance that I'd fail. I know this is an absolute truth because I've been tested. Hi, I'm a Lucker. Your good luck is my fault. You're welcome. On the downside, I'm banned from every gambling establishment in Galactic Society.

Not for winning, oh no. I never win. I mentioned that. No. I

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Challenge #01710-D249: The Independence Initiative

Gadgets sold on Marketing T.V. turn up on Amalgam. -- Anon Guest

Honesty in advertising has changed a great many things. No longer are items sold as the best in the market. Or a fabulous new invention for the lazy. Instead of being marketed to everyone, they are marketed to their target audience first.

The smiling cogniscent on the screen was aesthetically appealing to a majority of Galactic Society. Since her discipline was Entertainment, she wore something sparkly. "Here at the

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Challenge #01709-D248: Sticky Situation

"Crazy glue one hundred and one uses. Also known as Super Glue." -- Anon Guest

People were urgently patching holes after the micrometeor impacts. Smaller, slow-leaking holes were already patched with the humans' ever-present gum, albeit temporarily. For larger holes, they were grabbing whatever could fit and welding, bolting, and fastening as fast as they could.

Only the ships' human was using a tiny little tube before just... adding things.

Captain Farz had to admit the human was working quickly, but... what

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Challenge #01708-D247: Everything You Need

Swiss Army knife, multi tool, or the ever useful paperclip. -- Anon Guest

Every nerd who ever entered the sciences has a First Microscope. Some even kept their First Computer. More than a few kept their First Telescope.

Firsts are important. And for JOATs, it's their First Multitool. Preserved and maintained. Usually kept on display, because a great Majority of JOATs go a little wild and choose the option with the most apparent versatility. And, co-incidentally, the most weight.

Almost all of

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