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A 4674-post collection

Challenge #01093-B361: One Little Slip

The first time someone else hears a monster refer to the king as "King Fluffybuns" -- Gallifreya

Gerson had said it before he realised he'd said it. There were humans present. Important, official humans. And they had all heard him say 'King Fluffybuns'.

And now some of them seemed to be choking on their laughter.

"Heheh," he managed. "Old Underground joke."

And it did not help that both the King and Queen Dreemurr were blushing.

The humans convulsed. Some snorted. A room full of very important people were desperately trying not to crack.

And then the young ambassador for monsters, Frisk, began to giggle.

The dam broke. The humans burst into laughter. The monsters burst into laughter. Even the severe and straight-laced security people in the room cracked a smile.

"Of course you'd remember that," joked Asgore. "The closest thing my reign has had to a scandal in centuries."

Frisk looked up to Toriel and signed, You're that old?

"Do not worry," soothed Toriel. "All is well."

"Now," coughed one of the important people in suits. "About the monster protection act..."

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Challenge #01092-B360: Registering as Immortal

This one from "Going Postal" by Sir Terry Prachett. "were to be regretted"*

*Another bastard phrase that lends itself to any weasel in a tight corner. -- KnitNan

Certain phrases, when used in Administrivia and the unhallowed halls of bureaucracy, are heralds of impending doom. Some... are what the plebes are wont to call 'arse covers'.

It resulted in actions or decisions that, while correct, "were to be regretted". Employees more interested in keeping their job than helping people. A system derived

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Challenge #01091-B359: Here There Be Dragon Nesting Grounds

About learning a new way of breathing fire from her partner, that involves... well... nuclear fusion:

She's kept it a secret, yes. Long flights over the ocean... enormous detonations... a romantic evening for two dragons. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Sounds more like nuclear fission, but whatevs]

The tiny island had been turned to glass where it hadn't been turned to soot. And even the soot had burned off. And the heat from within spoke of lava, but Relikor could not sense any other

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Challenge #01090-B358: The Third Strike

My God, it's full of nerds... -- Gallifreya

[AN: I love it when my fans use one of my turns of phrase against me. FYI this is a quote from Touch Feast aka Story #01066]

He told himself he was doing this to get into her world. He certainly hoped it would help him gain access to her pants. Her immunity to his negging and other pickup tactics meant that she was a bigger obstacle to overcome. She had to be worth

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Challenge #01089-B357: Sympathy for the Demons

http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/135904233152/bluandorange-selkiecomrade-selkiecomrade

There was a large amount added to the Satan Claus post. -- Anon Guest

Demons across the multitudinous arenas of hell flinched. Their master was angry. Their master was calling.

"BELPHAGOOOOORRRRRRR!"

And that one demon was in deep, deep trouble.

The demon could not disobey the call of his master. He ran to the Great Office with his black heart pounding and his forked tongue knotted in fear. "I have come, master."

The Lord of

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Challenge #01088-B356: Catch of the Day

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/135909651673/mythsofthesea-faerytale-wings-merman-and -- Anon Guest

[AN: Epileptics, beware of the gif background]

The water was her second home. People who knew Nel said that they were waiting for her to grow gills. The people of Nothéré Island knew her so well that she once attended a job interview in a bikini and flipflops. Nel knew everywhere on Nothéré in relation to the closest or the most convenient swimming location.

And it was one summer afternoon after a

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Challenge #01087-B355: One Inconvenient Mid-morning in a Haunted House

"I sense a powerful presence in this house, a spirit of the restless dead, chained to this world..."

psychic opens eyes, sees 8 foot skeleton standing in the doorway, wearing an apron and holding a bowl of cake batter -- Anon Guest

There was a moment of perfect silence. The skeleton kept stirring the batter, but slowly. He had a pink apron on that featured a lacy edge and a large, pink heart on the chest.

"Er," said the psychic.

"You weren't

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Challenge #01086-B354: Past, Present and Future

Lewis Pepper was a giant of a man, nine feet tall with really big hands...

(to get the reference, look up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEdM4iL3hK8 but beware earworms)

[AN: I have kids. Of firkin course I've seen Wreck-it Ralph. Plus (mumbleIactuallykindofenjoyallthepixarmoviesmumble)...]

Arthur had been aware of yet another shadow looming out of him, thus closing off his final avenue for escape. He knew he was going to get pounded for being a weak, skinny, undersized nerd. So he closed

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Challenge #01085-B353: The Cosmic Balldance

Shayde, a costume party, and hundreds of miniscule self-adhesive glow in the dark stars. -- Gallifreya

Of all the reasons that humans had found to throw a party, the autumn festival of Halloween confused him the most. Mediaeval superstition met a modern-day desire for revelry head-on in a display of both ingenuity and greed.

Case in point, the Ambassador of 1986TCE[1] Shayde F. Pitt was throwing a Halloween ball. It promised to be one of the more colourful human celebrations. And

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Challenge #01084-B352: One Early Dawn Ceremony Far From His Master's Tower

http://paintdripps.tumblr.com/post/133942666585/magic-aus-for-all-your-magic-au-needs

One more time -- Gallifreya

The demon looked down at the circle around the mage. "Yer kiddin' me, right?" it said. It looked like a human shape, but it was obviously not human. For a start, its skin was as black as coal, and its demonic eyes burned with their own fire.

"Avaunt, foul beast," said Tra'gyk the mage. He held up his binding talisman. "I hath summoned thee with my mighty magic and thou

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Challenge #01083-B351: Dir Satan...

http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/135497280792/incurablenecromantic-eccentricmisseclectic

"Give me a heartwarming Christmas movie about Satan traveling around the world every Christmas to deliver presents to all the young kids and kids with learning disorders and disabilities who misspell “Santa” on their Christmas letters every year"

"And Santa’s all like, “You know, I can handle a few spelling mistakes, I got this,” and Lucifer is like “They’re addressed to me, fuck off, I’m doing it.”"

"Lucifer being protective of his

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Challenge #01082-B350: Haunted Model

http://tobiasandguy.tumblr.com/post/135382746545/selfie-its-harder-when-you-attract-unseen

Being followed around by invisible things that only show up on camera - and are always pulling faces when you want a nice picture. -- Gallifreya

"Just... don't. Don't take my photo. You'll regret it."

"What? But you're gorgeous."

He sighed. "I attract photobombing ghosts. It gets... ugly."

"Have you tried a--"

"Every psychic I could find. I even stroll those psychic reader tables at the mall. None of them can see or sense them.

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Challenge #01081-B349: Found Divinity

Prometheus, and all the other 'gave knowledge to mortals and was cast down for it' gods/goddesses/other mythical figures from various mythologies, being found by mortals, rescued from their punishments, and thanked properly. Even if it's only the first one being found, and the realisation that the others exist, and must be helped. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: After a little bit of Wiki Wandering, Prometheus is the only one who got punished for sharing wisdom... but I can pretend there's others]

The

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Challenge #01080-B348: It Used to be a Good Shortcut...

Person #1: You're talking about shoving me in a torpedo and launching me at a planet!

Person #2: Details! Now shut up and get in there. -- RecklessPrudence

"No," said Rael. "I'm a little tired of being treated like some immensely indestructible thing for everyone else's convenience."

"But you are a-- mmmumf mmmf mfflmmff."

"Blakely. Can it." The captain took a deep breath. "You're right. We should have consulted you. But these Sargasso-style pirates have rigged it so that only the smallest

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Challenge #01079-B347: Epic Levels of Pettiness

Inspired by Gallafreya's prompt. Magical entity turns up to claim child, only to be told, snarkily. "We had twins! You can have that one, it's only a girl. We, of course will keep our firstborn son for ourselves. 18 years later the results. -- Knitnan

When the wicked witch came for the child, the Prince and Princess had what they thought was a happy solution.

"We had twins," beamed the girl who had bargained a life for magic. "We'll keep the son

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