Twilight Zone

A 6-post collection

Challenge #01491-D030: Why Am I Here?

http://writing-prompt-s.tumblr.com/post/156109857968 "The world’s best have been transported to a single building, each having their own field of expertise. You, an average Joe, have also been transported. You have no idea what you’re so good at, but everyone else seems to be afraid of you." -- Anon Guest

The right hand rule sucks. I kept finding myself back at my own marks. Upstairs, downstairs... everywhere was closed in. No exits existed. Not even in the extensive gardens that seemed to grow every food plant in existence... as well as a few food animals. Small ones. Not the large ones that needed a lot of upkeep.

There were homes. Flats, habitats, whatever you wish to call them. There were places that could have been shops if they weren't arranged by an alien. There were no checkouts. There was no security. Everything was fresh, clean and new. Scarily clean. It was like the whole place was a habitat for a human collection.

There were others here. The best of the bunch. For every job, the leading name in that field was here. Wherever here is. The best doctor. The best psychiatrist. The best gardener. The best cleaner. The best... everything. And then there's me. Someone from podunk nowhere with a dead-end job in cubicle hell. I don't get it. I'm not the best at anything.

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Challenge #01300-C205: Sense Askew.

*air horn sound *

*second air horn sound *

"This isn't deodorant" -- Gallifreya

He looked at the can. It looked like a regular, everyday bodyspray. Yet when he pressed the spray button, an air horn noise came out.

It shouldn't even be able to do that.

Come to think of it, the towel only looked like a towel. It behaved more like tissue paper, falling apart in his hands.

The toothpaste looked and smelled like toothpaste but... it was aoli. At least it

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Challenge #01175-C080: Attitude Adjustment

Free prompt day! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Today's story is inspired by this attrociousness ]

Bill made his perfect woman. He more or less had to. The real bitches he tried to get along with universally hated him and he could never figure out why. He was perfectly nice to all of them, but... he inevitably wound up in the friendzone whenever he didn't earn himself another restraining order.

And now he was in what the internet kept referring to as "the Dudebro

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Challenge #00861-B130: The Inadvisability of Truth

The greatest truth in the universe is that the truth exists. The hard part is admitting we have no idea what it is or even where to begin finding it. I am sure we will eventually invest something that will let us invent something so we can discover something that will let us invent something that will give us a clue as to what we might need to invent to figure out what direction we should start looking for advancements in order

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Challenge #00705 - A340: Someone Thought of the Children

Various cable news channel’s reactions to Kermit T. Frog running for political office as an Independant, with the re-animated corpse of Fred “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” Rogers as his running mate. 

Fred Rogers looked just as he did when he was alive. He had the same ready smile and the same sparkle in his bespectacled eyes. He had the same sweater on that he wore in his last show.

But that wasn’t the disturbing part.

The disturbing

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Challenge #00701 - A336: Ignorable Precautions

(no other great ape can swim, or is remotely happy about going in water [except two cases of domesticated apes in 2013, the only known examples] and most monkeys are downright afraid of water)

*splash*

‘What the - are they trying to drown themselves now?’

'They float. Of course they float.’

“Where are we?” Bessie looked around. It was an island, she could tell that much. There was a modest little house and a garden, and something of

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