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Challenge #02444-F254: Wilful Air Adulteration

They were out on a scientific survey of a new planet and pirates were on their tail. They knew they had at least two hours before they were caught and their ship had little by way of weaponry. They made their ship's human his favorite, but usually forbidden unless they were planet-side where there was lots of fresh air, meal. Hot dogs and BEANS! As he smiled, thanked them, and dug in to his meal, the gas masks were being handed out. The pirates boarded, thinking it would be an easy win. As the air grew hard to breathe, even their livesuits were struggling, they never knew what hit them. -- BKFecyk

Don't be a pirate if you can't afford the suit - a peculiar saying in the Edge territories.

Submitted for your education, the Battle of the Far Sniffer. The vessel was on a scientific mission in the Edge and had therefore hired a Human to be their bodyguard/assistant/hazard deterrent. Fortunately, Human Jef was good at their job. Unfortunately, they greatly favoured dishes that resulted in noxious fumes emitting from their digestive system.

Those meals were restrained to open-air environments, simply because his sulphurous eructations were too strong for the low-budget filters on the cheaper livesuits available to both public and private organisations. Too strong, and -as many complained- too frequent. Human Jef was greatly amused by this, and obeyed the Far Sniffer's rules. That is, until the pirate ship attacked.

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Challenge #02443-F253: The Mystery Deepens

I read one of your short story of how how the rarity of humans and elves are swapped, and thought this:

A: “Based off these texts this Human is of the European breed.”

B: “But that’s impossible the closest Human gate is in a-siá I think.”

A: “Blonde hair, blue eyes and pale skin like elves. Shorten the ears and lifespan you get a European Human.”

B: “Still how would it even get here, it takes days to get here from

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Challenge #02442-F252: Free Will

When humans went to war in the past, they created weapons that can kill their enemies quickly and painlessly. As such they banned weapons and ammunition like hollow point bullets, flamethrowers, and any weapons that don’t kill humans as quickly as possible. -- Anon Guest

They say war never changes. They lie. What actually never changes is the depths to which combatants will sink to in order to gain a victory -any kind of victory- over the other side. Germ warfare

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Challenge #02441-F251: The Mikado's Song

Puns: a beautiful amalgamation of the language it derives from, and that situation that comes forth. -- Anon Guest

Of all the atrocities committed by the English, I give you one that has passed into the levels of international crime, yet has also passed almost unnoticed by the law. I give you - the pun.

Words are plastic. Meaning is malleable. One word can sound enough like another to make the actual joke hit like a missile. It is a form of

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Challenge #02440-F250: Special Case

A: ok, bending spacetime to your will is very dangerous and it can kill you

B: you do it all the time and you just did it right now to grab your coffee mug

A:......... I’m a special case -- Anon Guest

"What exactly makes you so darn special, then?" Arloest demanded.

"Well, for starters, I've been working on this for seven hundred years," said Thalemoor. "Second, I'm actually a Silver Dragon. I'm basically a cousin to one of the oldest

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Challenge #02439-F249: All Perfectly Reasonable

Just because I have demonic powers doesn’t mean that I’m a bad guy, and I have valid reason murdering 36 people. -- Anon Guest

"Was it the voices?" said Lady Anthe.

The Warlock smiled. "You mock me, but you can't understand. Ardnassac can remember the future, so he bids me to alter it for a better world. There's so much disaster that each and every one of those people could have caused. Averted now." A smile that was so deep

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Challenge #02438-F248: A Perfectly Normal Chip-shop Keeper

Too many of the one name so, Evans the milk, Evans the bread and Evans the dragon, nice man, doesn't play Rugby though. -- Anon Guest

There's always an Evans family in any given village in Wales. Often, there's more than one Evans family in any given location in Wales. It's a very popular surname. In order to distinguish Evanses apart, there are associated eke names. Additional surnames, sur-surnames if you will. You get names like Evans the Milk - the Evans

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Challenge #02437-F247: Looking For the Light

The human had seen his entire ship destroyed. It had been a sneak attack, an ambush. He fought for hours, it felt like months to him, but in the end, the pirates had overwhelmed them by sheer numbers. The only reason he survived was because one of his crewmates had done a "hail mary" maneuver and jettisoned an engine that had gone critical. The pirates were so badly damaged from that explosion that they were no longer able to go after what

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Challenge #02436-F246: A Concerning Countdown

I am a big fan of your "Humans are Space Orcs" Series, I read them every chance I can get. I would love to see this one for one of your stories. A deathworlder, a human, has been living with a Havenworlder as his bodyguard for quite some time. He is a scientist and was working with ways to extend a Human's lifespan and she has always been willing to volunteer for his work. Even when she was warned it might hurt.

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Challenge #02435-F245: The It Factor

As a Havenworlder the stuff in space is pretty scary, but I like trying new things. Asking a human to play "tag" was the worst decision of my life. -- Anon Guest

Humans are a walking paradox. They are level four point five Deathworlders, and are the most warlike species known in Galactic space, yet they are also the most caring and considerate cogniscents the Alliance has ever known. They're social creatures, requiring a modicum of positive physical contact for proper mental

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Challenge #02434-F244: For Dreams Behind Bars

Dimethyltryptamine, a "Class A" drug that is illegal across the world, but not in some country and states. An potent Psychedelic that can make you believe that you can warp reality. The funny thing is, it is created when we dream. -- Anon Guest

Dimethyltryptamine. Quite the mouthful when you're chasing that high. Some call it DMT, some call it God Complex. Some call it Dream, because it is literally the stuff that dreams are made of. The brain makes it naturally

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Challenge #02433-F243: One More Thing

Do it yourselfers have a problem, "I needa", and after multiple trips to the local hardware store you acquire stuff. Which leads to 'innovative storage'. -- Anon Guest

It starts with a project that should be simple, but you need more than what is present in the allegedly simple kit. The people who put that kit together assumed that you were starting from a certain level of familiarity. So you go out to acquire the missing items of necessity.

Once there, you

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Challenge #02432-F242: Unfortunate History

"No way. A society advanced enough to even think of getting into space must live in harmony with itself. Everybody has following the rules encoded in their genes. The consequences of disrupting the system of government are equivalent to those of an asteroid impact. Of course you'd say that I'm a Havenworlder, things work differently on Terra, yada-yada-yada, but that's an universal rule... right?" -- Anon Guest

"Er. Not really. Humanity's first steps into space travel were the direct result of an

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Challenge #02431-F241: Elements of Bad Design

The tailbone is virtually useless, a big target near our ass, not to mention the design of our spine is structurally fucked, AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE FOUR WISDOM TEETHS THAT I NEED TO BE SHATTERED AND EXTRACTED. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Don't get me started on my wisdom teeth. That was a horrorshow.]

If there was ever an argument against intelligent design, it is simply found in vestigial portions of anatomy and the troubles they cause. Just for example:

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Challenge #02430-F240: In a Name

I'm one of the fortunate or unfortunate (depending on your perspective) to have two first name, them being S* Kirby. -- Anon Guest

There's just something about having a first name as a last name that gets to people. It's memorable, yes, but also... it can make nametags problematic. You would not believe the number of people who tell me it should be my surname in there or, in non-surname occasions, my given one. Then you get the accusations of being an

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