Amalgam Universe

A 2284-post collection

Challenge #01725-D264: Blind Spot

"You can't just get lucky and expect everyone to treat you like an expert!"

"Why not? That's what you did?" -- Anon Guest

Ambassador Shayde glared at the junior aide. "I'm no' merely lucky," she said. "I got into the Ambassador gig by pure accident. Fer all that's happened, I could'a well had a knowledge base that missed everythin' the Archivaas ever had. I could'a been dismissed as a dangerous fraud if I'd never met th' Consortium o' Steam or no' known one answer to th' damn pub quiz they had lockin' the Vault. So much could'a ended wi' me in some cell payin' fer all the Time spent on me."

"Isn't that the definition of luck?" asked Pendril. She was taking notes. Shorthand, judging by the way her eye jinked to little panels in her eyepiece. She had successfully guessed the last door code and was under strict sanctions to never do it again.

"It's no' luck," Ambassador Shayde insisted. "It's beyond luck. We'd need a new term fer what happened tae me. Uber-luck. Super-luck. Quantum fookain luck. Sommat like that."

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Challenge #01719-D258: Near Lethal Combination

Finally, almost thirty-five minutes into their wait and seventeen minutes into [Responsible Authority Figure]'s scolding ([RAF's best friend, Shit-Stirrer] kept track; the record was thirty-four minutes, twenty-seven seconds, which [Shit-Stirrer] was ashamed to admit was on account of [much-less-responsible person RAF is mentoring in the ways of fighting both physical and magical, often compared to an excitable puppy] and masochistically determined to beat)... -- RecklessPrudence

If enthusiasm was light, Paxifraxx would be a pulsar. Deadly when aimed in the right direction,

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Challenge #01718-D257: Where Angels Fear

[Name] is a professional adventurer/planet saver with extremely acute hearing. The other speaker is their much calmer and more logical, though not necessarily smarter, best friend)

[Name] buried the pillow over their head and groaned.

“I can’t tell if those are gunshots or fireworks,” they whined.

“Do not be silly, [Name]. Fireworks are illegal on this planet.” -- RecklessPrudence

There's a reason why Iman Goodboy spends most of her time in her livesuit. She could control how much of the

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Challenge #01717-D256: Show of Faith

"Shhhhh." [Name] put a finger to both of their lips. "Let's just enjoy this. Things are going to be awful in a few hours, but right now I've tricked myself into thinking we can handle this. Let me bask in it." -- RecklessPrudence

The human had a mantra for everything that was going wrong. Human Steve was multitasking. Gathering and patching and applying gum and ductape as fast as their two hands could manage. The mantra was four words, "I can handle

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Challenge #01716-D255: One Pot Screamer

Hwell Barrow gets his hands on "knurd" that Discworld drink that you wake up sober with. He drank a Lot! -- Knitnan

Shayde is old enough to remember what 'Kickapoo Joy Juice' was, and when she or her friends were studying for extreme lengths of time, she had invented 'Kikyernuts Brain Fire'. Which was a carefully-calibrated mixture of every stimulant known to mankind at the time. In a dose so strong that it was fractionally short of being lethal. She had a

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Challenge #01713-D252: A Lesson For All

"Bellringer Sale! 80% off". Then the bell began to ring. -- Anon Guest

The luckless staffmember ringing the bell was on a stone plinth that served most of its time as a display area that could also be sat upon if a shopper was desperate enough. The shoppers were not desperate for a seat, right now. What they were desperate for was a bargain.

A rolling sea of humanity, flooding the area. A surge made of pure greed.

There were no staff

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Challenge #01712-D251: The One That Got Away

The sign said "Wet Paint". -- Anon Guest

It said it in English, and it said it whilst affixed to a filthy-looking wall. There was something incredibly suspicious about all of this. Especially since this was apparently a derelict in the middle of nowhere with no alarms, diverse or otherwise.

Some part of Jen was screaming, Honey trap! But it was in stiff competition with the part of her that was so very tempted to see if the sign was telling the

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Challenge #01711-D250: The Best of Luck

Lucker, who's "Gift" is to bring Luck to others - and makes a good living out of it. -- Knitnan

I don't take chances. In my case, it's a 100% chance that I'd fail. I know this is an absolute truth because I've been tested. Hi, I'm a Lucker. Your good luck is my fault. You're welcome. On the downside, I'm banned from every gambling establishment in Galactic Society.

Not for winning, oh no. I never win. I mentioned that. No. I

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Challenge #01710-D249: The Independence Initiative

Gadgets sold on Marketing T.V. turn up on Amalgam. -- Anon Guest

Honesty in advertising has changed a great many things. No longer are items sold as the best in the market. Or a fabulous new invention for the lazy. Instead of being marketed to everyone, they are marketed to their target audience first.

The smiling cogniscent on the screen was aesthetically appealing to a majority of Galactic Society. Since her discipline was Entertainment, she wore something sparkly. "Here at the

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Challenge #01709-D248: Sticky Situation

"Crazy glue one hundred and one uses. Also known as Super Glue." -- Anon Guest

People were urgently patching holes after the micrometeor impacts. Smaller, slow-leaking holes were already patched with the humans' ever-present gum, albeit temporarily. For larger holes, they were grabbing whatever could fit and welding, bolting, and fastening as fast as they could.

Only the ships' human was using a tiny little tube before just... adding things.

Captain Farz had to admit the human was working quickly, but... what

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Challenge #01708-D247: Everything You Need

Swiss Army knife, multi tool, or the ever useful paperclip. -- Anon Guest

Every nerd who ever entered the sciences has a First Microscope. Some even kept their First Computer. More than a few kept their First Telescope.

Firsts are important. And for JOATs, it's their First Multitool. Preserved and maintained. Usually kept on display, because a great Majority of JOATs go a little wild and choose the option with the most apparent versatility. And, co-incidentally, the most weight.

Almost all of

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Challenge #01704-D243: Collateral Self-sacrifice

Humans as the S&R species/Space!Rescue Dogs (I know you've seen the first part dozens of times, but this is a different chain of posts, that goes a different way) -- RecklessPrudence

Everyone knows that humans are indomitable. Against level five or above Deathworlders[1], they are dogged and determined. Against disaster, they have a thousand ways to triumph. Even the most mundane of their species has exhibited what they call hysterical strength in times of ultimate stress.

But

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Challenge #01703-D242: Choose Your Face

Having avatars be cool things can lead to odd circumstances:

Our best diplomat is a KHORNE BERSERKER! Our sane and reasonable authority figure is a SITH LORD! And our moral compass is PSYCHO MANTIS! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!

(Person saying this has a Dalek avatar...)

(Now imagine this, not on a normal forum where the avatar is a small image, but in an immersive virtual environment) -- RecklessPrudence

People get the wrong impression about Greater Deregulation South-Southwest. First,

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Challenge #01702-D241: Persistent Belief

Why would you... even need to hoax a moon.

Like, if you had that ability. Why would you then do it. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the realms of human insanity, the Flat Earth Society genuinely takes every cake. The lengths to which they would go to maintain an obviously disprovable belief are beyond Galactic credulity.

Frax had the misfortune to be seated next to a member of them on the way to Whistlestop Station. And this human would not be quiet about

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Challenge #01700-D237: Tougher Than You Think

So, havenworlders getting a look at this data? Alternatively, Galactic Citizens or Deathworlders from a lower category seeing one of our weak areas (like water requirements) and going "I can do better than that!"

(Same data, but with it in sane units) -- RecklessPrudence

Galactic Society shares some information for free. For example, information on what they deem to be dangerous species. Before the rediscovery of a colony world later named Amity, they shared gathered information on humans so that others could

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