Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01766-D305: The Dog in the Fight

So in the Human are the Space Orcs, it looks like we are on a level 3.5-4 Deathworld. This makes us fairly B.A.. However there are references to creatures from level six Deathworlds. What happens when they meet? Do humans feel threatened by them, are humans just the perfect mix of craziness and inability to die that the level six deathworlders are just scaredy cats, do they replace the humans, or have humans finally found an alien species they can play rough with. -- Aer

The Vorax had always been a problem. They went where they wanted, took what they wanted, and didn't leave much behind. Only the most destructive of weaponry or the widest of gulfs stopped them from going further.

It didn't take long for Galactic Society to realise that there was one species that the Vorax preferred to avoid. Humans.

The humans were only level three point five deathworlders, but no-one could guess that by how they behaved. Stories proliferated and exaggerated as they went. Humans seemed to be far frailer than the Vorax, but they didn't fight like they were. This was a species that would use its own vessels to immolate the enemy. A species who made weapons that rendered any and all contested resources into poison. A species that could pull victory out of the mouth of defeat. And then kick defeat's teeth in.

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Challenge #01764-D303: The Human Enigma

An energy type weapon is designed to subdue the target without killing it : the wounds are small but painful, the beam cauterizes the wound and it's fairly quiet. It's a civilised weapon.

A powder propelled type weapon is designed to kill the target and scare its opponent : the wound can be huge, it bleed a lot, the sound is horrifying. It's a human weapon. -- Anon Guest

The argument against humanity joining Galactic Society went like this: Have you seen their weaponry

Challenge #01763-D302: Cleanup Needed

Never enter an unknown atmosphere without airtight suit. Especially if you are boarding a ship where all the crew and passengers are in airtight suits, one human got a license in chemistry and access to bleach and ammonia. -- Anon Guest

The ships' human was merely there for the alleged good luck that they could potentially produce. It was lucky to have a human on board, and Human George's official role was janitor. Which meant that he had automatic access to the

Challenge #01763-D302: Wiped the Floor

... and this is why the huge wrestler-like bold man is the nurse and the thin woman is the security guard. -- Anon Guest

You need a lot of muscle to be a nurse. For a start, a large part of the job requires being able to lift those who cannot or should not lift themselves. Also required are a strong stomach, a quick mind, and a delicate touch. A good bedside manner is fairly low on the list, all things considered.

Security

Challenge #01762-D301: Grave Error

"We destroyed the protective forces of this colony : this human colony is ours!"

[few days later]

"We lost 1/4th of our soldiers in ambush in the city and in the wood, half of our soldiers are sick because the food and water stock are poisoned AND all of our communication devices got destroyed..." -- Anon Guest

Everyone agreed. It was a very nice planet.

The Cho'vith wanted it enough to bomb a few extant settlements and encourage whatever lived there that

Challenge #01760-D299: Walking Wounded

“‘‘Tis but a flesh wound!”

“It’s really... not...” -- TheDragonsFlame

This human had been through a great amount of trouble to get there. They had multiples of disturbing injuries. Bruises. Cuts. Scrapes, even some breaks in their seemingly unbreakable bones. The last of these, the human had splinted with available material. The twin orifii in the middle of their face was leaking blood. The evident scabbing indicated that this had been going on for some time.

And, most disturbing to the

Challenge #01759-D298: Hazardous Associations

An unknowing (group of) alien(s) tries to take a human as a pet, thinking ‘It’s small and cool-looking.’ Problem is, Humans are to them as velociraptors are to humans. -- TheDragonsFlame

It was quadrupedal and had no bowel control. It had to be an animal. That was the reasoning that lead to Heatstone becoming a pet in the first place. Cho'nish frequently bragged to her friends that Heatstone was a rescue pet. They had hir in simply terrible conditions. And

Challenge #01755-D294: Cut the Glorx Wire

"Have you ever disarmed one of these before?"

"Meh. How hard could it be?" -- Bard2DBone

The strange symbols were counting. That much was recognisable by the repeated sequences. And they seemed to be counting down, too. It was easy to connect the dots. Alien device that was likely counting down? Rising ominous hum? Things were going south quickly.

Therefore, it was time to deploy the human.

Human Shaniqua sighed and placed herself down by the device. There were her usual rituals.

Challenge #01747-D286: Stop Me if You've Heard This One

"Okay, this might be scary so if you need some time to prepare-"

"Jokes on you I'm terrified a hundred percent of the time anyway!" -- OohLookShiny

A Havenworlder and a Deathworlder walk into a bar...

So very many jokes start this way, including the off-colour one that also included cogniphagia. But this time, it was reality. The Havenworlder was in their livesuit and tucked under the arm of the deathworlder. A big, burly, brick of a human.

The worst kind.

Support

Challenge #01745-D284: Wolf by the Fireplace

How about alien species who don't realize we're allegedly the dominant species on the planet? Maybe they value empathy more than intelligence, which would make dogs the most likely contender for dominant life form. -- Bard2DBone

When humanity met the Fressik, there was some evident confusion and quite a lot of debate. They had crashed on a colony world, and hit some large buildings, so the rescue teams had the rescue dogs with them. The smaller ones worked their way through the

Challenge #01742-D281: Certain Signs of Doom

When a human is running scared, drop everything and run away with them. -- Anon Guest

Humans get many jobs, all across the outskirts of the Galactic Alliance. In the Fringe Territories, laws are enforced based entirely on how useful they are to follow. As civilisation creeps in, the humans creep out before they become the tolerated exception. That's the thing about fringes and frontiers. There's always more of them.

Here on the edge, overlooking a large and ancient Sargasso, is Bodgy

Challenge #01740-D279: Too Close an Encounter

It seemed like I might have dodged a bullet. Now all I had to do was avoid all the rest. -- RecklessPrudence

To be honest, I didn't know I'd blundered into a land war until the moon behind me went up into shrapnel. I'd dodged one bullet by accident. Well. Missile. Now I had to dodge the shrapnel from an exploding moon. Getting away from the big boom helped my chances a lot.

And then I saw the fleet. They had a

Challenge #01739-D278: A Lesson For All

(At an AI's sudden assimilation of a tech base and IMMEDIATE commencement of combinatorial synthesis): Fuckin' bullshit, man.

(In response): Hey if they're going to leave tech specs out where the sufficiently advanced AI can get a hold of them, it's their own fault. -- RecklessPrudence

They called the AI Amoeba, for her abilities, but she preferred Amy. It was her job as part of the combat process to take over enemy facilities and seize all intel and hardware. She liked her

Challenge #01732-D271: Ageing Ungracefully

Still, working on their manners ... I don't know if there are any etiquette schools around known space who take enrollments from intelligent battleships. -- RecklessPrudence

Humans love war. It is a well-known fact. In their early history, they would war with opposing factions of humans, different coloured humans, and, in a large swathe of history covering the pre-Shattering period, nouns. They don't often talk about the war they lost against emus, though.

Given their love of war, it was no surprise that

Challenge #01730-D269: Comeback

Deep fried Mars Bar. The dreaded chip buttie (fries on a buttered bun), Floater (Aussie effort: Meat pie floating in pea soup). -- KnitNan

"I've been everywhere," said Shayde, mis-estimating the size of the station by cubic klicks[1]. "Nobody around even knows what fries are an' I'm gaggin' fer a chip buttie."

Nik, overhearing this complaint to the universe at large, gestured her to come closer to his cooking station. "Tell me about these things you call 'fries' and the... chip

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A 2271-post collection

Challenge #01766-D305: The Dog in the Fight

Challenge #01764-D303: The Human Enigma

Challenge #01763-D302: Cleanup Needed

Challenge #01763-D302: Wiped the Floor

Challenge #01762-D301: Grave Error

Challenge #01760-D299: Walking Wounded

Challenge #01759-D298: Hazardous Associations

Challenge #01755-D294: Cut the Glorx Wire

Challenge #01747-D286: Stop Me if You've Heard This One

Challenge #01745-D284: Wolf by the Fireplace

Challenge #01742-D281: Certain Signs of Doom

Challenge #01740-D279: Too Close an Encounter

Challenge #01739-D278: A Lesson For All

Challenge #01732-D271: Ageing Ungracefully

Challenge #01730-D269: Comeback