Amalgam Universe

Challenge #01831-E007: It's Not a Good Night...

Orange traffic cones which mysteriously appear after drunken parties, and other weird stuff the clean-up crew encounter. -- Knitnan

Of all the unexplainable phenomena in the known universe, the most unsolvable is that of humans and spontaneously-manifesting traffic cones. They only appear when everyone at the party is too inebriated to recall where they came from, and no means of recording said party have ever picked up where they come from. Even security cameras can't catch their appearance. Whenever the cameras are turned, or cut away, that's when the traffic cones appear.

And in the cases of fixed, one channel feeds, the item appears outside of the immediate pickup zone. And holographic recorders experience unresolved issues in the area of appearance.

It may be unexplained, but science is determined to die trying to do so.

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Challenge #01830-E006: The Important Stuff

When two humans have animosity between them, their crew mates get very nervous. Just yesterday, Human Marty discovered Human Seth was attempting a mating ritual with their offspring... -- Anon Guest

[AN: One of the good things about my future is that Pedophilia is eradicated on all but a few, really skeevy colony worlds. And those ones have an underground railroad thing going on to make sure the perversion dies out. Also -dear Nonny- I do not appreciate the implication that gay

Challenge #01826-D365: In Abstract

aliens going through human archives find the most Avant Garde porn, like, EVER -- Anon Guest

[AN: Just so you know, this author has very little experience with porn. Smut, yes. Porn, no.]

The Trizdressi had no idea what they had found on that graveworld. Something had happened to the population, and little was left to determine the disaster but what appeared to be an enormous cache of records. The scouts were halfway right. They were recorded data. Just... not data that

Challenge #01825-D364: Seems Harmless Enough

NAME: Mr. Sunshine (yes he's not joking)

OCCUPATION: Terror squad/ Pax Humanis Enforcer

LIKES: Cats, Painting, Tearing off the faces of his enemies

DISLIKES: Rude folk

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Average height, Average build, Could blend in anywhere there's Humans

UNIQUE TRAITS: Cold, empty eyes combined with an intense friendliness give him an extremely unnerving appearance, Dresses like Mr.Rogers, allergic to milk -- Anon Guest

"It's pronounced soon-sheen-eh," insisted the otherwise ordinary-seeming human who wore a sweater-vest in Security Purple, and a tie

Challenge #01823-D362: Parental Rights

"Parenthood is the most important job you'll ever have."

"Someone PAYS you for being a parent?"

"Okay. Parenthood is the most important unpaid internship you'll ever have." -- Bard2dBone

Of all the laws of the Galactic Alliance, the ones concerning parenthood are the hardest to swallow for various worlds. Especially for certain colonies of the rather aptly-named Terra. Colonies like Quiverfull, Abundance, and a few of the Greater Deregulations have... limited views on the useful attributes of half of their population. And

Challenge #01822-D361: Security Overload

With all the fragmentations of humanity, especially the Deregulations, is it a surprise that a collection of old conspiracy theories became a society's Holy Book? -- Bard2dBone

They say, It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. And for some, they believe that is true. It's easier to believe that there is a large, organised Them behind everything bad than it is to believe that shit happens and the people in charge are more concerned with their own pals

Challenge #01821-D360: And Stand Well Back

“If you think you have enough explosives, you evidently don’t understand the concept of explosives. -- TheDragonsFlame

"I just want a hole in the door," objected Grix. "I don't want half the ship to vaporise."

Human Steve sighed and folded her arms. "Honestly, you are no fun at all."

"I did make it clear that we were all to survive this unscathed and with maximum scavenge from this particular wreck, did I not?"

Human Steve groaned. "Yeah. You did. And I

Challenge #01820-D359: Important Aspects of Station Maintenance

If a small creature falls asleep on top of you, you are required to stay put and not disturb said small creature. Any nearby are obliged to provide you with whatever you need to avoid disturbing the creature. -- TheDragonsFlame

Arjit had been meditating in a nexus known as Station's Chi by the local conglomerate of Nae'hyn. It had been exactly what people had recommended as a spiritual centre. The constant ringing of the wind chimes and the grinding of the whirligigs

Challenge #01819-D358: Just Like That

“Ok, there’s a bear, and I have a stick. As such, there is only one course of action.”

Moment of silence

“[Name], no.”

“[Name], yes.” -- TheDragonsBlaze

"I can see a few things wrong with your general plan, Human Finn," said Storkaz, holding their Human at bay. "First, that is not a bear."

"Well, if it walks like a bear, grunts like a bear, and has fur like a bear..." shrugged Human Finn. "Might as well be a bear[1]."

"We're

Challenge #01816-D355: A Needed Sense of Urgency

Inspired desperation, a great motivator when Procrastination has been your buddy. -- Anon Guest

The ships' human had two modes. "I'll get to it," and "Ah, shit, why didn't I get on this sooner?" Which, though entertaining to observe from a distance, was not always the best thing in an emergency. Or in any situation laced with urgency.

That said, the human was fantastic at pulling miracles out of nowhere when under stress. The rest of the crew merely wished that such

Challenge #01815-D354: Complex Brain Chemistry

That first cup of coffee that finally gets your brain out of bed. -- Knitnan

Consciousness and cogniscence are two different states of being. One learns this quickly with a human in one's immediate vicinity. Folkax was still attempting to fathom it. The ships' Human was one of the ones with an irregular sleep cycle, and an even worse method of retaining wakefulness.

Human Ren would stumble out of their sleep nook with a complaining moan when they 'could not sleep anymore',

Challenge #01813-D352: Everything Necessary?

Emptying your pockets/hold-all to find needed I.D. Boggling the official with the stuff you "really, truly Need". -- Anon Guest

There is no single worst thing to carry everything you need in than a gigantic pocketless tote. Especially when your needs are unfathomable.

Dithaan listed the articles as ze removed them. As is the rule with all containers that held objects of assorted sizes, the largest and bulkiest things rose to the top. "Spare jumper, emergency hygiene pack, personal medkit,

Challenge #01811-D350: Special Classification

Aliens vs Parrots who imitate sounds (such as water coolers or alarms) -- TheDragonsFlame

Human Steev had a pet, which was also Stiiv. It was a bird. A Terran parrot known as an African Grey for reasons that were clearly obvious. And, like most parrots, it was the devil incarnate.

Terran Parrots are officially classed as weapons of mass destruction for reasons that quickly become obvious the more time one actually spends in the presence of one. They gnaw at anything within

Challenge #01810-D349: Who's A Pretty Boy?

Aliens vs (Talkative) Parrots -- TheDragonsBlaze

It had to be a human ship. Ugly. Functional. Battle-scarred and pitted with a million micrometeor impacts. But there was frozen precipitation and high winds incoming. Nothing could survive it better than a Deathworlder ship. So Tikkotz scurried inside and hoped that the human would be benevolent.

It was a huge space. Mostly made of metal, but there were softer areas. Seating. Bedding. Hangings, for some reason. There was no trace of the human, beyond that

Challenge #01809-D348: Uncanny Interaction

We like talking to inanimate objects so much, we've started making the technology for inanimate objects to talk back. -- TheDragonsFlame

People are well known for talking to their Roombas. Technology so stupid that it doesn't know where it's been, and can barely detect when it's trapped. Never before has a single, real world device trained intelligent beings to respond to a string of musical beeps.

And after a while, customers blogged about their Stupid Roomba Tricks. Comments like, "Mine just loves

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A 2271-post collection

Challenge #01831-E007: It's Not a Good Night...

Challenge #01830-E006: The Important Stuff

Challenge #01826-D365: In Abstract

Challenge #01825-D364: Seems Harmless Enough

Challenge #01823-D362: Parental Rights

Challenge #01822-D361: Security Overload

Challenge #01821-D360: And Stand Well Back

Challenge #01820-D359: Important Aspects of Station Maintenance

Challenge #01819-D358: Just Like That

Challenge #01816-D355: A Needed Sense of Urgency

Challenge #01815-D354: Complex Brain Chemistry

Challenge #01813-D352: Everything Necessary?

Challenge #01811-D350: Special Classification

Challenge #01810-D349: Who's A Pretty Boy?

Challenge #01809-D348: Uncanny Interaction