Realm of the InterNutter

::white noise::

Didn't get a lot of sleep, because last night was a rare night out. Kind friends had given Beloved a movie voucher.

FYI, The Mockingjay Part 2 is firkin awesome. Well done, movie peeps, for sticking to the book.

BUT going to see it also meant that I didn't get to bed much before 11PM.

My thoughts are full of static. I want to go back to sleep for a majority of the day. BUT, I also have 1K of words to do before the ~~oven~~ office reaches roasting temperatures, so I have to get a wriggle on.

Static in my head or not.

It's my habit to do one thousand words on Fridays so I don't have to fill some of my Saturdays with novel nonse. It works well for me. And it works really well for my family, because they don't have to listen to me bitching about how I'm missing out on reaching word counts during social events.

Health wise, I'm too heavy again. I like food that tastes good and it shows. I'm ninety-nine kilos when the Bullshit Medical Indicator reckons I should be eighty. That's almost twenty more kilos than I "should" have.

I'll be happy to get rid of ten, to be honest. The only time I was at or near eighty kilos, I was (a) a teenager and, (b) miserable.

I need regular meals, to start with. Snacking on whatever is laying around when I feel hungry is a definite bad habit. Portion control is another thing. And regular exercise is a huge problem.

We have year-round plovers and it's firkin Swooping Season for the dang magpies. Ten minutes' walk before breakfast is problematic when you risk contusions on the head just by meandering down the street. Any solutions that don't involve killing the birds would be nice.

On to do my daily thing.

Challenge #01029-B297: One Post-Adventure Evening in a Village Tavern

Creating a volcano is the most important part of a stealth mission, I guess. -- RecklessPrudence

All eyes slowly turned towards the Rogue at the table.

"What volcano?" said the Knight.

The Rogue grinned. "Damn, I'm good..."

The Mage sighed into their tankard. "They're calling it Mount Wat," they said. "It's where the evil dungeon used to be. Some people take the words, 'purge it with fire' entirely too literally."

The Rogue cackled. "You did say it was to save the world.

Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbh...

Pretty much how I'm feeling this morning. The sound of a sigh coming out between lax and flappy lips.

We probably have just enough to make it to the next payday. IF the kids' Friday treat comes out of the Penny Pincher Menu so I can afford the tank of petrol for the running around we're doing on the weekend.

Beloved is Forty, as of yesterday. Merry birth, Beloved. I wish I could do more for you.

Still need to get eggs

Challenge #01028-B296: Explaining History

Advantage number one of having crammed our development of spacecraft into only ten years: "Holy shit we know how to mass produce so many liquid explosives that we can get to be stable for just long enough, you have no idea." -- RecklessPrudence

It's said that anything interesting enough to propel a spacecraft for long distances in a relatively short time is also interesting enough to be a weapon. And it's usually said by humans, who tended to develop the weapons first

It's been so long since I went to Hell...

My frelling sleep issues have been acting up. Hello, anxiety. It's been a while since you fucked up my life. Come on in, we're having coffee.

...you little shit...

In brief: woke up at 2AM-ish because I went to bed at 8:30 because I was dog tired because worry.

2AM-ish meant that I would be dog tired AGAIN in the afternoon and I don't need that because I have a firkin physical for insurance's sake, so I did my best to

Challenge #01027-B295: One Terrifying Adventure in a Hidden Bunker

Person #1: Was this place built on an old well, or a burial ground or something?

Person #2: No [Person #1], weren't you paying attention? This whole mess is the result of somebody bringing Nazi Magitech back from WW2 Germany instead of burninating it like any sane person would. -- RecklessPrudence

"Ooooh," cooed Kevin. "So that's why everything is all over swastikas and lightning bolts, right?"

"Eeeh," Allie shrugged. "Sort of. My research indicates that the artefact kind'a possessed the interior decorator

101 reasons to love Steam Powered Giraffe

Before you roll your eyes at me, this is not going to be an enumerated list. You can breathe, now. It's okay.

One Hundred and One is the number of times that I have listened through the Giraffe's most recent album, The Vice Quadrant: A Space Opera. Or just Vice Quadrant for short.

That's two hundred and two hours of music that I have yet to become sick of. Not one song, not one spoken interlude, not one fragment of this double

Challenge #01026-B294: Before She Met Hwell

Person #1: They just have to deal with it. Life isn't fair.

Person #2 (softly, sadly): No, it isn't. But that doesn't mean we should be making it less so. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Wholeheartedly agreed]

Two guards watched the product file from the conditioning yards and into the truck. Ready for processing. The newbie stared with an open mouth.

"Hey, if you want one, you could snag it after the buyers have picked the best ones. Bawdy factory don't mind."

"Just... take

Herbing 'till I plotz...

I promised a photojournal entry, and you're about to get a photojournal entry.

We start with a simple, neglected herb garden:

Pictured, smol child, large rosemary Chaos is looking nervous because there was a wasp on the other side.

Chaos showing off a washing basket full of cut herbs We got a basket full of cuttings. most of them were actually useful.

This is just the LEFTOVER rosemary The leftovers. Some sprigs are bundled with the hope of making decent potential tea.

Finished Rosemary oil. It will be going out in much smaller bottles Heat-infused rosemary oil looks gross when its done, and in bulk.

Mint still being processed I had a freaking LOT of mint. So much that

Challenge #01025-B293: One Near-Apocalyptic Afternoon in Bloomington, Illinois

The speech known as Abraham Lincoln's "Lost Speech" was given at the Bloomington Convention on May 29, 1856, in Bloomington, Illinois.

The traditional reason given for the lack of any written recollection of the Lost Speech is that Lincoln's skilled and powerful oration had mesmerized every person in attendance. Reporters were said to have laid down their pencils and neglected note taking, as if hypnotized by Lincoln's words. When the speech ended no notes existed, so media reports of the day simply

Post-massacre update

I have successfully mutilated the Rosemary bush and decimated the mint population The house and my hands are redolent with the scent of both.

I tried enlisting some child labour to speed up the process, but Mayhem begged off early [feeling useless and then feeling sick] and Chaos got bored of picking mint leaves.

I have a sink full of unpicked mint, soaking in water and lemon juice to stop them browning whilst I take a well-earned break. And about a double-handful

Challenge #01024-B292: Don't Let Them Breed

Sara Louise meets Sherlock (the Benedict Cumberach one). they both get bored easily with trouble ensuing. -- Anon Guest

Watson should have known they were in trouble when the suspected alien had vanished from a locked room without a trace. Scotland yard usually handed off such cases to a special military unit, but they were off on a completely different crisis.

Sherlock looked around the room, including the floor and the ceiling. Everything seemed undisturbed. Not to Sherlock's sharp eyes. He touched

Where has all the money gone?

I discussed money issues with Beloved in the evening. As it turns out, most of the expenses were directly related to bills and paying off debts.

We're relatively debt free, right now. But we're also money poor.

And Christmas is going to be hellishly expensive, even with my frugality in the balance. For example: Beloved suggested using actual sealing wax for the gift basket stuff. Two of the lovely bottle types have corks, and they're going to need a functional seal.

I

Challenge #01023-B291: No Such Thing as Normal

This poem: http://bonehandledknife.tumblr.com/post/130524095600/if-you-are-a-monster-stand-up-if-you-are-a -- RecklessPrudence

They called it the DevilPurge, and they came for all the creatures of the night. They came politely, with notarised invitations and assortments of red tape.

They helped the vampires move out. They assisted the werewolves. They kindly and gently moved the mausoleums of the undead. They bussed the witches, wizards and warlocks into a faraway place on the very borders of the kingdom.

To make things better, they said. To

Time for Science!

Today, when I'm done with my writing, I am taking one of the pretty bottles I got for my artisinal rosemary product gift basket[now featuring mint], and I am going to use it... FOR SCIENCE!

These are wibbly wobbly pretty bottles, and I'm doing nine of everything, but for these ones... I am measuring their collective liquid volume.

Yep. I'm filling a bottle nine times and emptying it into a measuring cup so I know how much high-quality vinegar to purchase.