EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT SHIT FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME
How eyeronic
get off my post
You don’t have to lash out
Eye see what you did there…
I’m so done with Tumblr.
Who else reckons these awful punsters should be iris‘ted?
(#00164)
There is a rule in classrooms all over the world. When it’s Show and Tell day, beware the kid with the cardboard box. Or the self-motive brown paper bag.
This time, it was Kurt ‘that weirdo’ Wagner with the cardboard box and the optimistic grin.
His record said he used to work in a circus, and you could believe it, the way he oversold all his presentations with carney-level breathless superlatives.
“Ladies and Gentlemen—”
“Let’s skip the preamble, Wagner.
Read more »An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
DS9 AU. It’s a bit dark.
Read more »(#00163)
“Monster delivery!” sang the maid as she entered.
“That’s a monster?”
“That’s a maid?”
The red-head curtseyed. “F’give me sir, but I was told to deliver this green beast to this lab.”
“RHHAAAAAAARRHHH!”
“I did not order a monster.”
“Nor did I.”
“Probably a mix-up at the warehouse again.”
“You stay here -ah- miss. We’ll sort this out in due course.”
Sara stepped out
(#00163)
“Monster delivery!” sang the maid as she entered.
“That’s a monster?”
“That’s a maid?”
The red-head curtseyed. “F’give me sir, but I was told to deliver this green beast to this lab.”
“RHHAAAAAAARRHHH!”
“I did not order a monster.”
“Nor did I.”
“Probably a mix-up at the warehouse again.”
“You stay here -ah- miss. We’ll sort this out in due course.”
Sara stepped out of the cage and spat out her false teeth. “So much for the
Read more »An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
DS9 AU and Odo/Kira shippyness ahoy.
Read more »(#00162)
“Okay, so let’s recap. The lead’s got ‘lurgi’, our soprano has a frog in her throat from the same thing, our harpist is having a nervous breakdown..”
“Fifth this week,”
“And thanks to a fight in the school grounds, the tenor has a broken arm.”
“That and the costumes have gone missing, the lighting’s mis-wired, half the backdrops have been accidentally used by the local kindergarten as a mural, and someone’s meticulously disassembled the props.”
“Do we
Read more »An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Comicverse crackfic circa Winding Way.
Read more »Dear xottxot went and did this for me.
I’m an infographic! Squeee!
Read more »
(#00161)
“READY!”
“What I want to know is—”
“STEADY!”
“—who thought this was a good idea?”
“COOK!”
Gil winced as the klaxon blared. “Well, given the -ah- intense emotion, and the fact that this town’s had enough battle…”
“PENALTY FOR KNIFE THROWING!”
“…I thought this was slightly more rational.”
One competitor had not bothered attempting to sabotage the competition. She had knives flying, all right, but they were chopping, slicing, dicing, julienne-ing and otherwise preparing food. The grim determination in her
Read more »40K words accomplished. 20K to go.
Assuming I don’t go bananas and decide to put more than that in.
Read more »the word is actually DOUGHNUT, not DONUT
dunkin donuts spells it wrong okay
Amen
Read more »(#00160)
“Honestly, that flask says ‘Do not open’. There has to be a reason.”
“Exactly why I’m opening it. To see why[1].”
Tarvek, at least, had the sense to duck and cover.
“Some kind of liquid…” Gil sniffed cautiously. “It’s coffee!”
“It’s in a sealed container with a warning label! That alone is enough to put it back where it came from!”
“…there was something important I was supposed to remember about coffee…”
Tarvek growled. “Oh, warm it
Read more »(#00159)
“The prize is a car,” said Jean. “You have no idea what that means for me.”
“There’s something wrong with my car?” said Scott.
“Yeah, I have to go where you want to take me. I’m going for it.”
*
Jean opened the little envelope. “Looks like I’m a candy-striper at the veterans home. Huh.”
“Hooray,” deadpanned Kurt. “Bedpans and unwanted PDA’s from old folks.”
“Ignore him,” said Kitty. “He’s still bitter about the whole animal shelter
Read more »An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Headcannon backstoriness and insanity :)
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