X-Men Evolution

A 110-post collection

Challenge #01033-B301: Attitude Problem

Attempts to defend against the accusation of you having a "bad attitude" will only confirm that you have a bad attitude. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Didn't notice I wasn't logged in until too late. Whoops. You get one of the newer prompts, today.]

"I'm curious," said Sara. Calmly, rationally. Speaking like an adult to an adult. "What exactly constitutes a bad attitude? I've tried other, non-violent means to avoid, reduce, and eliminate myself being bullied. Including numerous reports against the offenders."

"We have no real evidence."

"The security footage and bodycam evidence isn't sufficient?" she asked.

"Mister Essel..."

"Sara Louise Adrien," she corrected.

"You haven't had the operation, Mister Essel. You will remain Mister Essel until proof otherwise."

Sara took a deep breath and counted to ten. Exploding in the general direction of a school official would only result in suspension. "Please do me the favour of reading the name on my permanent record?" she singsonged.

"Adrien, S. L. ..." A significant pause. The penny dropped. "Oh. Oh, I can see how that happened."

"One of the many drawbacks to have a last name that doubles as a first name," she soothed, "in combination with a physique that many mistake as masculine. My campaign to get things changed in my favour has been... accused as attitude."

This reminded them. "About your attitude, Mister-- sorry, Miss Adrien. The way you act around your teachers leaves much to be desired."

"They keep calling me 'Mister Essel', sir. They keep misinforming the class when the most rudimentary of research--"

"This is exactly the problem, Miss Essel." At least he wasn't calling her 'mister'. Baby steps. "We have a certain curriculum to teach."

"The health officer in charge of Sex Ed just told a girl who had started her period to, and I quote, 'hold it'. I think something is desperately wrong with this picture, don't you?"

"Crude language will not be tolerated in this establishment, Miss Essel."

"You'd prefer scientific nomenclature? You can not ask a girl to 'hold' her menstruation, sir. There is no sphincter on a vagina!"

The school official began dialing.

Crap. "Let me guess. The actual names for lady parts are swears."

"That, and you raised your voice. Your attitude is frankly intolerable."

"This school is frankly intolerable," objected Sara. "The lack of education present in the alleged educators should be a matter of national note, not my 'attitude', sir."

"Nevertheless, you are suspended for a minimum of two weeks, to be reviewed at the end of that term."

Hello, nigh-permanent suspension. Sara already began plotting a campaign to educate the parents about this travesty of justice. "Then I shall take my suspension as a badge of honour, çur. And work on my teaching degree during my time off. It obviously can't be hard."

He could not, after all, do anything else to her now. He glared at her as the call connected. "Ah, good morning Professor Xavier. Yes. Sara has happened again..."

(Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01024-B292: Don't Let Them Breed

Sara Louise meets Sherlock (the Benedict Cumberach one). they both get bored easily with trouble ensuing. -- Anon Guest

Watson should have known they were in trouble when the suspected alien had vanished from a locked room without a trace. Scotland yard usually handed off such cases to a special military unit, but they were off on a completely different crisis.

Sherlock looked around the room, including the floor and the ceiling. Everything seemed undisturbed. Not to Sherlock's sharp eyes. He touched

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The Travelogue Continues

After leaving Francoeur behind, Kurt and Todd find themselves in South Park, bizarre animation and all. How will they cope with being the 184th strangest thing to happen to the town?.

(#00766 - B035)

It had been another typical morning at the bus stop. The usual debate had come around to the subject of mothers.

“Mmf F mmmf mf Mmmmmmm'f mmf mf f mmmmf,” said Kenny.

“You take that back, you sonofabitch,” Cartman challenged.

“Get over it,

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Challenge #00571 - A196: The Big Reveal


He called them all together into the big meeting room. They gathered into their appointed seats and in a general air of confusion.

“For years, I’ve made myself scarce on April first. And for those same years, all of you have managed to make me your butt-monkey for pranks. Every joke in the book and some of the new ones… you played them all on me.”

Now most of them

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Challenge #00542 - A167: One Familiar Face

“That’s 19, last question.”

“Ok, it’s a person, a guy, dark haired, kinda short, amnesiac, fast healing/possibly immortal, older than 200 years, uses bladed weapons, knows lots of martial arts, and fights against people trying to take over and/or destroy the world.”


“Is it Wolverine?”

“What? No, it was Van Helsing.”



*dawning realisation*

No way…”

“Mr Logan?”

“Yeh, Tallwater?”

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Challenge #00528 - A153: Knowing Where People Don't Look

One of your old stories - “(Nightcrawler) can get away with not using the image inducer if he just puts on a hoodie and keeps his hands in his pockets. I mean, he doesn’t even hide the tail! And his shoes have to be made special.”

Plus a paraphrased quote:

Most people don’t notice things they don’t expect to see. Children though, they’ll recognise you instantly.

It’s a good thing kids are also the least likely to

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Challenge #00428 - A053: One Fine Afternoon in the Local Comic Shop

A recent submission to the Hawkeye Initiative involved Wolverine instead:


So, how did he get into the situation on the right?

[AN: Since the short answer of “Sara did it” is cowardly…]

He had one job. In two parts. Part One: Escort Sara to the comic shop and back. Part Two: Keep them both out of trouble.

And it was going well, so far.



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Challenge #00377 - A012: Fandom Follies

You mentioned once in a fic that Kurt was a B5 fan.  Mind ficcing more about that?  (I’ve been bingeing on B5 lately).  Bonus if Sara is involved.  ^_^

“And then Marcus pops up out of nowhere an–”

“Wait. This is a fanfic, ja?”

“Ye-es. What part of AU did you fail to understand?”

“The AU part. I was hoping further conversation would help me decode you.”

“Just put your hand

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Challenge #00278: Den of Iniquity

Jacqui, the blackie, the lackey named Pertwee (and yes I know she’s a she! :P) and the almost comical bond formed watching the terrorist let loose in a crafts store.

[AN: Can we not have racist (or any –ist) words in submissions, please? No matter how cute it might be that it rhymes, it is not a nice word.]

John Smith had come to catch the mutant out. He still suspected that Scott Summers was somehow cheating, even after

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Good idea, wrong innovator. Bonus if you can use a member of the new recruits not normally given a starring role. Details please.


{trickle trickle trickle trickle DOONK}

Jamie leaned back in appreciation. He made it work! He made something work! And it was beautiful.

“What the hell, Squirt?”

“It’s an office meditation toy,” he announced. Sure, this one was made out of whatever he could scrounge, but the finished product… was going to

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Challenge #00251: Terror Watch

Agent Pertwee and his take on watching the terror with the textiles.

[AN: Agent Pertwee is a girl :P]

Agent Jane Pertwee sighed. She’d signed up for Terror Watch because it was the fast-track past the glass ceiling and on to better things. She should have known that the dicks upstairs would have picked the one least likely to do anything worthy of garnering promotion by stopping it in its tracks.

Right now, she was holding up a wall watching

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Challenge #00242: One Fine Afternoon Just Outside the Danger Room

A romantic moment between Scott and Jean that starts after she witnesses the New Recruits realizing that an less emotionally restrained Scott as Danger Room facilitator means a tough day for all.

Argh. Her aches had aches. Jean had lingered in the hot shower in an attempt to soothe them. She was still stretching in the hall when the younger recruits passed her by.


“Man, my aches have aches…”

“The aches of my aches have

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Challenge #00208: Creative Outlet

Scott, inspired by crying while watching Sara at the harp, tries to apply himself to a creative endeavor to become, one day, even a tenth as proficiently expressive as she was. Mr. Adrien interrupts with a few pertinent questions.

There was a reason why arts were not so well funded as, say, sports. Or the sciences. They could be tested and quantified and finally summed up by a number. Which meant that people could compare scores.

Art… was subjective. As Sara

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Why the X-Men are no longer allowed at the zoo, and why Kurt got offered a summer internship there.


For a change, it wasn’t Kurt’s fault. He had been minding his own business, chatting to the elephants in Mahout at the time.

Logan, as tour guide, was waxing lyrical about the predators when a lioness, recognizing a threat, neatly snagged his face from behind and tried to drag him inside.

Fourteen mutants unleashed their powers at once, resulting in general panic, twenty escapes, and overall mayhem.

Kurt was the one who came to the rescue, with the help

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Why Red Bull is banned in Bayville.


“So… this is happening,” said the police chief. “WHY is it happening?“

"I don’t know, sir,” said her immediate underling. “I just know it’s continuing to happen…" The swirling patterns of ink on his skin became the repeated word TRUTH.

Many a near-riot had begun because of the quasi-cogniscent ink that had spread like a virus over the skins of all citizens of Bayville. Many men were very upset to find themselves indelibly

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