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Challenge #02053-E229: Bohemian Nights

(Title: Bohemian Rhapsody: A Space Opera) [what happens when the night-owl Humans take over the interstellar comms] -- Anon Guest

[AN: Can you please not have your titles be part of my prompts? It fucks up my routine to a rather major degree.]

Dead air. Silence. These things are anathema to the human mind. To them, there is such a thing as too quiet. Lock a Human in an anechoic chamber and they will go mad... And this was why the Party Line was invented. To keep Humans from going insane in the silence of the too-quiet hours.

It took thirty seconds for it to become a writhing pit of memetic perpetuation.

"Is this thing on?" said a voice in the darkness. "Can anyone hear me?"

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Challenge #02052-E228: Wifi Fhtagn

We have found it... The mythical artifact of legendary power, rumored about since the 21st century... And now, after all this time, we have found it! The best wifi in the universe! -- TheDragonsFlame

It was small, and sleek, and had two antennae that made the whole thing look like an ascii-faced robot. Humans would easily see the 'face' and declare it as 'cute' or 'a little bit derpy'. Those not blessed with the capability for pareidolia would only see lights and

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Challenge #02051-E227: Death Trade

Kill it! Kill it with lethal amounts of Sodium Chloride! -- @internutter

The enormous bipedal chordate flinched under the -pardon the pun- assault. Cried out. And yet, it was still standing after five rounds rapid. Then the assembled Cryptels watched in stunned amazement as the Deathworlder actually licked the powder from its skin.

"Mmmm..." It bared its enormous teeth. "YesthisisexactlywhatIneed."

It actually craved the death mineral. T'lu didn't know what to do. Ze clenched backwards out of instinct as this giant went

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Challenge #02050-E226: Stockholm's Invisible Bars

Humanity has always fascinated a certain alien “scientist” shall we say, though in reality they were nothing more than a monster. Their newest “pets” were the result of their most recent experiments in gaslighting and the human phenomenon known as Stockholm syndrome. Never had one so cruel ever known such an horrific punishment by the hands of humanity. -- Sorry

[AN: No you're not]

Beware becoming your obsession. There are many that will eat you alive and not even spit out your

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Challenge #02049-E225: A Tiny Terror in Tulle

"You're my bestest friend ever!" "Because I supply you with deadly weapons?" "That's what only the best of friends would do!" -- TheDragonsFlame

[AN: Now I want a Google Search image with "Did you mean 'Bangladesh Dupree'?" in it]

It wasn't easy, working for Princess Hakenslash. She was going to be a fine Warrior Queen one day, presuming she survived to achieve the crown. She was eight, and already a terror in pink tulle and play fairy wings[1]. She wanted nothing

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Challenge #02048-E224: Small Miracle in a Bathhouse

I will follow you to the ends of the Earth with only mild complaining -- TheDragonsFlame

[AN: Callback to this because I like the concept]

So many miracles happened in Wraithvine's wake. But then, one could expect that sort of thing from an actual wizard. For a start, Wraithvine could make a gesture and everyone would not see her as a Kobold any more. They would see a Halfling, or a Gnome, or a Dwarf, or an Elven or Human child. It

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Challenge #02047-E223: Place Your Bets

I have a lot of questions about this and I want none of them answered. -- TheDragonsFlame

There was a segment of vine in the isolation chamber. Recognisable as a section of The Glunk only by its unique hue. Spotted along it were black dots. Arranged underneath it were sections of Known Station Building Material.

There was also a betting pool board instead of algorithms on the whiteboards that were left there for those who liked to think in physical space.[1]

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Challenge #02046-E222: Mundane Profundity

http://avita-creator.tumblr.com/post/175729151210/theshitpostcalligrapher-mysteryseeker

For these are the hidden gems of the time known as the shitpost era of the Internet, and are now treated in our spacefaring days, as they treated their own classical texts of Shakespeare and Marlowe. -- Anon Guest

It was a cross-stitch sampler in a frame, and it had profound words carefully sewn into the underlying fabric. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. Next to

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Challenge #02045-E221: What is Owed

(Person 1): "Ok, let's get one thing straight."

(Person 2): "Yes?"

(Person 1): Straightens painting hanging on wall -- TheDragonsFlame

Thief hunkered in a corner. She didn't know what she was thinking when she saved this Mage from the brigands, but now they feared their anger. Mages were glass cannons, it was true, but they were also vengeful shits who could turn -say- a kobold Rogue into a toad or worse. And Thief had lived her entire, brief life in fear of

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Challenge #02044-E220: One Post-Near-Wipe-Experience in a Dark and Dismal Dungeon

(Person 1): You Idiot!

(Person 2): I'm sure you're right, but why? -- TheDragonsFlame

"Okay," sighed Fanrel. "From the top. We're rescuing villagers from an evil cult that's into blood sacrifices. We use out best stealth to creep up on them while they're busy with the chanting. We're all nearly in position... and then you decide to leap up, scatter marbles all over the place and yell, 'Oo ma, oo ma, I can see your nickie-nahs'."

"It disrupted the ceremony," protested Jorgax.

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Challenge #02043-E219: Through th' Crack's Mirror

Humans had lost against the Fae. The Orcs, and Fairies, Gnomes, and Centaurs, all the "mythical" creatures had banded together and drove us to near extinction. But unlike us, they weren't monsters. We had after all started the war. And the small group of survivors, stripped of magic, were sent to a reality where no natural magic existed. Banished to the fringes, that's where our stories came from, an attempt to keep the history before alive. And remember the times that the

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Challenge #02042-E218: Something's Happening Here

Love your Humans are space Orcs, especially the ones about Ozzies.

Here is one for you, How even without luck, all humans get gut feelings, warning of unseen dangers and how they can drive out decisions especially in rather precarious situations. -- Adam in Darwin

[AN: Never sweat your spelling. If I can grok your meaning, I'll correct that biz for the post. Hope you haven't gone troppo waiting for this post to happen, and have a Gaytime on me :D ]

Certain

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Challenge #02041-E217: Cautious Welcome

How would aliens with different lifespans play out alongside humanity? Can you please do an alien (instead of dog) version of this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/5wz4gy/wearelikeelvesto_dogs/

Thanks! -- Anon Guest

For generations, Thack has watched over us. He is our Human and we are his crew. He has seen us all born. He has wept as we all passed of old age at anywhere between fifteen and twenty. He has taught

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Challenge #02040-E216: Just One Thing

If it exists, there's probably a Wikipedia page about it. -- TheDragonsFlame

When the Sky People left, they left behind the Thing. It was flat, and it could bend, and it would not break. It was not food, and it was not a tool, but the Sky People had touched it a lot, so it had to be important.

Thorn poked at it the way she had seen the Sky people do. The figures that came up meant little to her, but

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Challenge #02039-E215: Ambassador Oozagoodoggieden

Sees human: avoids eye contact, walks away

Sees dog: coos and tried to get its attention -- TheDragonsFlame

Dog is Ambassador to Human.

Throx considered the daily quote and figured it had been a mistranslation of some truly wise words. Things didn't always meld that well with GalStand Simple and the message was lost in the translation.

"Good morning," said an automated voice. "Welcome to Way Out Station. Your sleeper pod has been transferred to the Decon Zone. Please wait and a

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