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Amalgam Universe

A 2266-post collection

Challenge #04402-L018: Zero Ammunition Combat Ready

Why do you have so many primitive weapons? Our stunners and plasma rifles are far more efficient.

"True enough, but your stunners and rifles can break down in the wrong kind of environment. With these spears, and things like this bow, all you need is physics, and knowing which direction the sharp end is going." -- Fighting Fit

Everyone knew that the Humans were a little bit strange. If you asked the right ones, they'd confess proudly to being a lottle bit strange. Those Humans are the ones to watch out for. They're either very fun to be around, very dangerous to stand close to, or both.

Human Zek, one of those Humans, never went anywhere without at least one knife. If combat was anticipated, they carried at least two metal blades. Strong, sharp, and generally superfluous.

Zek's most-used blade was part of the omnitool they were also never without. Technology so ancient that many were surprised that it wasn't made of flint.

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Challenge #04401-L017: A Thousand Points of Light

It's again the anniversary of when the Earth circles their star. Even though they are far from Earth, and have never actually been there, they were born and raised on a different world, like the people of Earth, they celebrate with parties, lots of food, and lots of brightly colored drones making the equivalent of silent fireworks in the air. Don't want to scare friends with the bangs after all! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Most Terran colonies celebrate their own solar anniversary,

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Challenge #04400-L016: Wind Me Up...

Why... are they putting all sorts of useless gears all over their equipment and some of them in their clothing?

"Buddy, let me tell you about Steampunk!" -- Anon Guest

Fashion, like those who follow it, is weird. So, too, are countercultures. Some originate with whatever the youth find cheap to obtain, later sold at inflated prices to those who admire the aesthetic. Some originate in whimsey, others in spite.

Some borrow fashions from prior eras and add flair. They do things

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Challenge #04398-L014: Panic Mitigation

My dear human friend, would you kindly stop moving for just a few moments? I know you are uncomfortable, but if I don't get this spike out of your leg, properly, you could very well bleed it, it's far too close to the artery. -- Anon Guest

Panic has many modes, and few of them are rational. Further, few could be expected to act rationally when pierced through a major limb with something long and sharp. The accident that caused it had

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Challenge #04393-L009: Fluffy Puffy Omnicidal Vengeance

A human brings two very fluffy, but small, dogs with them. These dogs become the pirates' worst nightmare when they attack the ship. -- Anon Guest

On first impressions, they looked like amorphous blobs of fuzz. One black and one white. Only when they woke did they seem to sprout feet and, in the case of the white one, little beady eyes. Portions of the floof oscillated as Human Ela called their names.

"Mune? Nux? Heel."

The snuffling fuzzballs were no bigger

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Challenge #04392-L008: Memorial Ceremony

Why, my human friend, do you shed tears, and raise a glass, alone like this, every year?

"Because, my kind rescuer, there are so many of us that didn't get out of there in time." -- Anon Guest

It was time, again. The same day on the calendar of the world that Human Kie had been born on. Companion Wes kept watch on that calendar, all so he could keep watch on Kie and hir ritual. To make certain ze didn't end

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Challenge #04390-L006: Life (Fast) Cycle

"How in the name of all the POWERS can you live in a place this cold?? You do know that it's well below freezing and temperatures outside could even make you HUMANS die in a few hours!"

Yeah, true, but it's quiet here. And it's only winter for 9 months of the year. The other three months are beautiful! -- Anon Guest

The world is silent, dark and deep. As the poem once said, I have promises to keep and miles to

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Challenge #04389-L005: 'Tis But a Scratch!

Human, why is there a long, red, gash across your hand??

"Oh, that's just a scratch don't worry, already treated it."

But it looks enflamed!

"Yah, we humans do that when we get small cuts like this, it's sterilized, and treated, but it'll look bad for an hour or so, then heal right up." -- Anon Guest

"Are you certain? An injury like that should be inspected by medical. Just to be sure it won't get worse." Companion Gine bobbed in concern,

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Challenge #04388-L004: Comfy Cosy Calm

A cup of hot, havenworlder safe, chocolate, a crackling, if simulated, fire, and a warm, quiet, room with my best friends chatting and playing board games. This evening is just what I needed. Maybe I'll take a nap. -- Anon Guest

What many people didn't expect from such lunatic Deathworlders as Humans was - they knew how to relax. They engineered supreme comforts and even tailored them to accommodate their companions.

Such as this cozy environment. Just cold enough to warrant wrapping

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Challenge #04387-L003: To Maarow

Sometimes a knomira isn't a knomira. Sometimes, they're just a person whose day has gone so catastrophically wrong, they're at a loss on how to cope anymore. -- Anon Guest

There's a way to tell the difference between arrogance and exasperation. Arrogance acts like the owner of it is the sole centre upon which the universe turns. Exasperation is tired of everything else's [EXCREMENT]. Exasperation is close to tears. Exasperation may also be explaining their problem with the wrong lexicon.

Which is

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Challenge #04386-L002: Read the Signs

Don't go after a ship filled with neophytes. Their adult counterparts will only kill you. Human larvae will do far worse. -- Anon Guest

The ship was painted bright yellow, throwing the bold, black lettering on its hull into sharp contrast. Slow moving, loaded with life forms and cargo, it looked like the perfect target.

Appearances can be deceptive.

The space pirates found this out eventually. They were congratulating themselves on what looked like a sweet haul as they latched onto, then

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Challenge #04385-L001: Beware of Humans

They attacked a human outpost thinking that these small, squishy, beings would be easy prey.

They learned the truth, and broadcasted their apologies, and a dire warning about humans. -- Anon Guest

This is an urgent message to anyone crossing into this solar system. Beware. Do not attack the cogniscents in this area. Do not raid the settlements in this area. Do not go within zero point eight Standard Astral Units[1] of any rocky planetoid in this system. They will detect

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Challenge #04384-K366: Poison in Acid? Refreshing!

Human, that fluid is caustic enough to strip paint from metal! And you're drinking it?? How are you not dead yet??

"It tastes good, it's fizzy, and it helps me stay awake. Besides, its just a soda." -- Anon Guest

Companion Laus could barely contain hir anxiety. "But.. the gasses will cause intense digestive pain. Colic is a fatal--"

Human Tam belched, causing Companion Laus to boggle at him. "You can just do that?"

"Yeah, we can reject stuff that's bad for

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Challenge #04382-K364: Defying Inevitability

There are only three constants in the universe:

Death, Taxes, Evolution into crustacean

Human seem to be the only outlier, but not for the reason many think of. -- Anon Guest

Human fiction has played with the notion since before the Shattering. Someone capable of taking aspects from various beasts attempts to create the most dangerous being possible. The beast that emerges is, of course, a Human. Someone capable of messing with evolution concocts the ultimate form of life and gets... a

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Challenge #04380-K362: Not a Nice Kitty

They think the creature is just another earth cat. They should have listened to the warnings about the black creatures with the white stripes down their backs. The invaders need a lot of care and decontamination! -- Anon Guest

"Uh, Byox? Don't pet that one!"

"It's a harmless cat. Look, it has it's tail up, and what a floof!"

"No don't--" too late. Human Dez winced in pure sympathy as Byox got the full treatment from a neighbourhood skunk. "Ooohhhh... Ouch."

Byox

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