Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

We R Igorth sets up shop in Mechanicsburg.

(#00178)

[AN: Set sometime after Agatha’s return to Mechanicsburg]

They always came to Sparks once a stronghold was established. A tribe of natural minions with a talent for surgery and reanimation. Their balms and poultices could perform miracles still unknown to the rest of modern science.

The Heterodyne kept one on in her castle, on the very good chance that they might come in handy - on one condition.

It was a combination hospice and employment agency, with one name for the employees. Igors and Igorinas alike had found jobs in the hospital and various households of high standing.

And now they were offering their ‘thervitheth’ around Mechanicsburg.

Carson stared down at the gnarled figure on his doorstep. “And you don’t mind being… minions to minions?“

"Igorth are made to therve, marthter. It ith our plathe.

"And… you have to lisp?”

“It’th our trademark,” said the Igor. “Begging your pardon, marthter… but I heard you were due to undergo a thpethial operation nethethary to your pothition?“

Carson mentally rearranged the consonants. “Yes, I’ve been dreading that for a while. Why?”

“We can arrange to have the thurgery performed painlethly, with a minimal recovery period.”

“The Heterodyne will doubtlessly demand to watch.”

The Igor smiled. He knew he had a job. “We are very uthed to the martherth’… ideothyncrathieth…"

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Paraphrasing Zaphod Beeblebrox....

“…You’re THE Sara Adrien?”

“No, I’m just A Sara Adrien - didn’t you hear we come in six-packs now?”

Context irrelevant, but those two lines must appear.  Whether Sara is being sarcastic or literal is up to you.

(#00177)

Sara had never realized she had fans until Thylacine Industries could afford a booth at Genracon.

Five dollars an autograph had only encouraged them.

Ten dollars a picture… she was still

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(DS9 prompt for a change!) Odo has fangirls.

(#00176)

Commence Personal log, Security Chief Odo. Once again, Starfleet’s insistence on records and lists and files forces me to take note of events as if my memory is not reliable enough.

In this case, I have to make note of events as they occur, establish a pattern, and present such evidence to the commander before action can occur. And, since it has to take place in a personal log, I also have to make note of my thoughts and feelings

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Why Red Bull is banned in Bayville.

(#00175)

“So… this is happening,” said the police chief. “WHY is it happening?“

"I don’t know, sir,” said her immediate underling. “I just know it’s continuing to happen…" The swirling patterns of ink on his skin became the repeated word TRUTH.

Many a near-riot had begun because of the quasi-cogniscent ink that had spread like a virus over the skins of all citizens of Bayville. Many men were very upset to find themselves indelibly

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OK, so how about this?

We round up all the hateful, misogynistic, racist asshats in the world.

And all the self-confessed Nice Guys.

And move them to Texas (room for everyone in the world, remember?).

And wall those fuckers in.

Then we film the inevitable results and glory in the schadenfreude.

I just have one question for the rest of y'all:

Who’s making the popcorn?

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A new Korean restaurant opens up near the X-Mansion. Todd discovers beondegi.

(#00174)

“I know it’s cheap to eat here, but god damn… who wants to eat this crap?”

“Koreans, maybe?” said Todd. “Look, jus’ try a few things a’ight? Koreans eat it an’ live.“

"I don’t eat anything I can’t identify,” said Pietro.

“I stopped listening at ‘all you can eat’,” said Freddy. He was already taking a sampler.

“Heywow… How’d they get all the little lines on

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Taken from a conversation

“Mad! I’m not mad! Your brain is just too small to see the beauty in my ingenious master plans! - [name], Federally Funded Mad Scientist in Training

(#00173)

"My brain is just fine,” said Stark. “You, on the other hand, have had way too many red bulls and treacle toffees, and definitely not enough sleep.”

Sara wheeled on him. Her pupils were pinpoints and her eyes were red. “SLOWLY I TURNED! Step by step.

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Challenge #00172: One Fine Afternoon in the Halls of Higher Education

“When I said that it was nice that you could recite the same dirty limerick in 5 different languages and have it rhyme, I was not asking for a demonstration.”

“Aaaw… but I’m almost up to Pharsi. Do you know how hard it is to rhyme ‘Calcutta’ in Pharsi?”

“No, and I don’t particularly care. We’re supposed to be working on theoretical math, not filthy poetry.”

“…aaaaawwww…”

“Fo-cusss…”

“But this isn’t as much fun.”

“Ai! Focus.”

Sara pouted.

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Challenge #00172: One Fine Afternoon in the Halls of Higher Education

“When I said that it was nice that you could recite the same dirty limerick in 5 different languages and have it rhyme, I was not asking for a demonstration.”

“Aaaw… but I’m almost up to Pharsi. Do you know how hard it is to rhyme ‘Calcutta’ in Pharsi?”

“No, and I don’t particularly care. We’re supposed to be working on theoretical math, not filthy poetry.”

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