(DS9 prompt for a change!) Odo has fangirls.


Commence Personal log, Security Chief Odo. Once again, Starfleet’s insistence on records and lists and files forces me to take note of events as if my memory is not reliable enough.

In this case, I have to make note of events as they occur, establish a pattern, and present such evidence to the commander before action can occur. And, since it has to take place in a personal log, I also have to make note of my thoughts and feelings in regards to… events.

Starfleet should learn to keep its nose out of everyone’s business.

But, since this is the only way to get Commander Sisko to act… this is something I have to do.

Commander Sisko also informs me that I can only log events during the day they occur. Any precedent is, apparently, a product of my own imagination. Which I am not in the habit of employing in the performance of my duties.

Today, I encountered a strange clique of junior females loitering near the Jumja kiosk. They were all wearing outfits reminiscent of, but not exactly copying, the Bajoran security uniform. All were amused or delighted to see me approach, and immediately indulged in both high-pitched squeals and what they imagined to be hushed whispers.

The resultant babble sounded intensely like a flock of Terran Chickens.

Since I am a shapeshifter, my first thought was that something had gone awry in my daily form. I had checked not seconds before I stepped out onto the promenade, but this cadre of gigglers managed to erode that confidence in mere moments.

Naturally, I enquired if something was the matter. To which they replied, “No, Constable,“ and erupted into more laughter.

I had no legal reason to detain any of them, so I continued on my patrol.

As I walked away, I heard some distinctly objectifying dialogue concerning my shape. Most of it concerned… ‘dat ass’.

On my second patrol, they were discussing what a shapeshifter ‘could do’ to them in a sexual manner. They stopped when they spotted me, but I was able to remind them that the Promenade was not an appropriate arena for such tawdry conversations, given that there’s a school nearby and minors constantly present.

They promised to amend their behavior and I moved on. Once again, their topic of discussion returned to objectifying my chosen anatomy.


Security Chief Odo, Personal log. Append Stardate.

They have started lingering at Quarks’ when I am in my office, thus obstructing my view of that odious Ferengi and his attempted crimes. I had to encourage them to move along, or at least clear the way.

I found their behavior as a result disturbing to say the least. They all erupted in shrieks and began open conjecture of which one of them I liked the most. Since I was annoyed by the repeated antics I am not able to document here, I reacted adversely, telling them that I did not like anyone who obstructed my surveillance and I gave them five minutes to clear that area of the Promenade.

Of course I checked up on Quark. He was busy sending his brother away to hide something. Documents of my investigation are in my public log. Key search term: personal image misuse.

Later in the day, I noted one of the older females following me. When I enquired as to why she was doing so, she shrieked and ran away.

I do not like being followed.


Security Chief Odo, personal log. Append Stardate.

Major Kira has paid me a visit in my office for the first time since I closed the Vaatrik case. She seemed very amused by the odd clique and declared that I had a ‘fan club.’

I asked her what air recirculation had to do with blunt instruments and earned more damnable laughter. Fortunately, Nerys knows me and apologized for her outburst.

What followed was… an education.

Apparently, these young ladies are acting that way because they… like me. I frankly find this disturbing because everyone who has professed such a desire has been out to manufacture some gain at my loss.

These girls, however, are… devoted to me.

I expressed my confusion at their objectifying dialogue, and Nerys forwarded an interesting idea.

Recruit them. Given rules forbidding fraternization and objectifying speech, their amorous intent and idealization could turn them into a force to be reckoned with.

I shall cogitate on this further.


Security Chief Odo personal log, append Stardate.

The new Junior Security League are the most devious, insidious, and outright perfidious bunch that ever set foot on soil. And they’re on my side.

I’m starting to like them.

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