InterNutter

So who wants in?

You might be aware that I’m trying to make a living with words. Anyone who doesn’t… go check out my Smashwords account and buy something, plib-blobbit!

Ahem.

Thing is, I need beta-readers. People willing to read things-I-consider-finished, things-I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-with and things-I’m-checking-up-on-to-see-I’m-still-going-in-the-right-direction. AKA WIPs.

I have a whole pet universe I want to share. Short stories, long stories, stories of inbetweenish dimensions… all waiting for readers to help with the quality control.

And I can’t afford to pay because… well… I don’t have an income as of yet.

I’m also going to be experimenting with my pricing and, if I’m really lucky, find someone willing to do some better covers than my own considerable lack of skill.

Anyone who wants in, please send me an email address [either by ask or by reply, whatever suits you] and I shall be sending you some PDFs in the nearish future.

Are you game?

Guess how many downloads Scavenger has? I feel so loved! Squee <3 Thankyou everyone for trying my free sample! Tell your friends! Enlist...

Guess how many downloads Scavenger has?

I feel so loved! Squee <3

Thankyou everyone for trying my free sample! Tell your friends! Enlist your relatives! But, more importantly, buy the rest of them :)

Check those glorious numbers

Especially this one

::insert sound of angelic chorus::

Challenge #00059: Nice Guy Syndrome

Anywhere in the story: “Fate, it seemed, had a sadistic cruel streak in regards to his love life.”

There had been Jodie. First love. Perfect tits. Perfect ass. Perfect smile. And a perfect already-boyfriend who was five times his size and really, really territorial. He paid for her in bruises and blood, and just when he thought he was going to get luckier than he ever believed, she set him up for a very public humiliation.

Jodie was also the

Fanfic Time: Collection

A blast from the past, this time. My very first fanfic ever. And, incidentally, the first non-parody fanfic of DS9 ever.

Enjoy the delicious horror.

This is a story inspired by someones’ innocent enough comment on the net. It was something like “Hey, wouldn’t it be neat if Quark somehow managed to save Odo’s life?” You know who you are :) The resulting story is printed below; I apologise in advance for the absence of Sisko

Challenge #00058: Zen and the Art of Renovating

Begin with: “Citrus fruits, once rotten, never failed to induce a melancholy state of mind.”

Citrus fruits, once rotten, never failed to induce a melancholy state of mind. Shayde had just found one in the bottom of a surprise refrigerator that had been buried under a feral stand of alien vines that, once it had conquered the rear right corner of her garden space, had died.

There was also something moving in the clouded tupperware on the second shelf.

Shayde

Dear every manufacturer of women's clothing, ever:

my-girl-binx:

bythehammerofthor94:

deadjohn:

bassoonerthebetter:

lord-kitschener:

gothiccharmschool:

Faux pockets are an abomination. If you’re going to bother putting pocket flaps on something, add the G-d damn pockets.

No love,

Jilli

And make the pockets deeper, you soulless bastards.

You know what’s attractive?

Not this:

EVERYONE REBLOG THIS

On average, men’s pants have about 6 inch deep pockets.

IT’S 2013 AND WE STILL DON’T HAVE PANTS POCKETS EQUALITY

PANTS POCKETS EQUALITY!!!

THIS!

Would all my beta-readers please...

Send me their email address?

I have three stories that I reckon are finished, but every time I ask for volunteers, I get lots of ‘yes please’ and nowhere to send it to.

I ALREADY HAVE THREE STORIES FOR YOU.

Just send me your freaking email address?

Fanfic Time: Where Were You Last...?

One-shot ficcery inspired by the fact that Blink started its life as a fanfic.

Doctor: Ten. Not that it matters a lot, because you can easily put Eleven in there and not change much. (cough cough, scriptwriters…)

Wall of text under the cut:

Disclaimer: Doctor who and all recognisable characters therein are owned by the BBC, bless their little cotton socks. I make no claim on them, only to Deb Harlec and the story below.

Some stories have a soundtrack. The

The real adventure of the baby skink in the bathtub… This little sweetie was in our bathtub one night and we didn’t want to...

The real adventure of the baby skink in the bathtub…

This little sweetie was in our bathtub one night and we didn’t want to drown the poor thing. So Mayhem (he’s the background) and I spent about twenty minutes rounding up this poor baby skink.

I sent him outside to return the skink to the wild. During this time, said skink decided it didn’t want to leave.

Must’ve spotted us for born suckers.

Fanfic Time: Heaven, Earth and Hell, part 9

Continued from yesterday, and concluding today:

By the time Celia got back to the kitchen, there was a bilingual argument going on.

“Of course I talk! What? Did you think I was a *pet*?”

“C'est impossible. Quelle sorte d'une maison de fous est ceci?”

“It’s your fault! You decided to walk into a circus trailer. Dummkopf.”

“Oui, mais moi a marché dans un bas de page d'entraóneur animal… qu'ils n'ont pas –

Challenge #00057: Unlikely Treasures

Chicken feathers, a glass eye and a grasshopper.

“The least you could do is pitch in,” grumped Hwell as he alternated between shovel and pick.

“The least I could do,” argued Axand'l, “is go meditate while you indulge yourself in this… adventure holiday.” He tisked at the thought of wasting time on frivolous things. “As it is, I am recording this for edutainment purposes.”

Hwell rolled his eyes as if to say, Saurians!

Challenge #00056: Human is as Human Does

When blandness strikes! Also include an explosion of confetti.

Certain words are a portent of doom.

“I’m bored,” is definitely two of them. From Shayde, very much so.

“I told you to subscribe to the calendar of events,” said Rael.

“I did. It kept spammin’ me in weird languages.”

One of these days, she was going to learn not to tick checkboxes she didn’t understand. “I’ll help you

Fanfic Time: Heaven, Earth and Hell, part 8

Continued from yesterday:

He woke in a nest of cushions with a fan ruffling his fur. The grandmother-esque woman - Mrs Nezmith? - sat calmly nearby reading a book.

“Feeling better?”

“I’m sorry,” he blurted.

“Whatever for?” she reached over to soothe his hair into place, brushing an ear and his cheek by co-incidence. “It’s perfectly natural to be nervous, Kurt. New things can be frightening.”

He sat up, trying

On Wednesday, the US Supreme Court will hear a case that has the potential to give big corporations free rein to write contracts that...

On Wednesday, the US Supreme Court will hear a case that has the potential to give big corporations free rein to write contracts that prevent consumers from ever holding them accountable for fraud, antitrust violations, or any other abuses of consumer and worker protection laws now on the books.

motherjones:

Read up.

Everyone should be up in arms about this.

Challenge #00055: Slow Progress

The fourth day of therapy for the man who’s ‘Appreciation’ for Julie was dashed by Shayde’s particular brand of intervention.

Day four. The human man known on his paperwork as John Smith still rocked himself in place. He still preferred a soft, gentle environment. He did not want any variety of toy that had eyes.

He had, however, finally stopped repeating, “They wanted to eat me.”

Orsiz'edand'l viewed this as a positive sign. Human

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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Guess how many downloads Scavenger has? I feel so loved! Squee <3 Thankyou everyone for trying my free sample! Tell your friends! Enlist...

Challenge #00059: Nice Guy Syndrome

Fanfic Time: Collection

Challenge #00058: Zen and the Art of Renovating

Dear every manufacturer of women's clothing, ever:

Would all my beta-readers please...

Fanfic Time: Where Were You Last...?

The real adventure of the baby skink in the bathtub… This little sweetie was in our bathtub one night and we didn’t want to...

Fanfic Time: Heaven, Earth and Hell, part 9

Challenge #00057: Unlikely Treasures

Challenge #00056: Human is as Human Does

Fanfic Time: Heaven, Earth and Hell, part 8

On Wednesday, the US Supreme Court will hear a case that has the potential to give big corporations free rein to write contracts that...

Challenge #00055: Slow Progress