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Challenge #01386-C291: Anti-serendipity

"What happened to the scarf of invulnerability?"

"Uh... my cat ate it." -- OohLookShiny

The cat in question growled from its position under the ottoman. Yellow eyes glowed out from the shadows.

"The good news," said Ki'van, "is that the scarf itself is invulnerable. We... um... just have to wait a bit."

Now the growling from under the ottoman took on a slightly musical quality. So... the cat wasn't just pissed at him.

"I know she'll try to take my arm off if I try to feed her, but I need that invulnerability, Ki'van."

"Um..." Ki'van twisted herself sideways so she could look at her cat. "About that..."

*

Ki'van had to be a good magician, because she had managed to convince Twinkle, the homicidal cat, that he, Mouchon the Magnificent, was one of her equally homicidal kittens and needed Twinkle close and nurturing.

It worked, in that the invincibility spread by contact to protect Mouchon from most of the harm.

And it would have been great, if it wasn't for the constant sandpaper licking. He could barely hear any taunts over her purring.

If all else fails, vowed Mouchon, I'm going to throw the cat at them.

That day went down in history as the strangest wizard duel that had been fought to date. And Mouchon would spend the rest of his life explaining it.

(Muse food remaining: 13. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01385-C290: Sys iPhus

"I'm sorry, I can't... I'm broken,"

"Is that what they told you?" -- OohLookShiny

The Doctor skidded to a halt in yet another room in the complex. There, a vaguely cylindrical robot went in a circuitous path, repeatedly fixing things that, ultimately, caused everything to return to its original state.

"Sysiphus," he muttered.

Holly stopped, too, almost blundering into him. She took in the scene and said, "Excuse me?"

The robot paused. "I cannot aid you. I am... broken. I must... fix.

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Challenge #01384-C289: Well Why Not?

They've revived this show about MacGyver who could do almost anything with a swiss army knife and a roll of duct tape. -- KnitNan

[AN: The jury's still out on the new show. It's powered by more bullshittium than the original was]

The problem with improvisational souls like Mac was boredom. With nothing to do, nobody to battle, Mac would slowly gravitate towards junkyards and equally gradually fill his warehouse home with so much technological packrattus that Jack and Riley both worried

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Challenge #01383-C288: Default Fix

Imagine this 'go to' item [duct tape] had been lost and then turned up on Amalgam. -- Anon Guest

[AN: FYI, the titles you use on my forum for prompts do not survive my writing process]

Once upon a time, JOATs did not know about ductape. It seems impossible, but it was not as ubiquitous as it is today. Ambassador Harry was not the only one to come into Galactic society from the impact of the Chelete ship Explorer 255 and the

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Challenge #01382-C287: More Than Ductape

I needa! The perpetual cry of the (a) attempting to make/fix something. (b) Person hitting the twice a year Trade Show. -- Knitnan

Humans were amazing. Most Galactics reached the stars and harvested society for new ideas. Humans did the same, but then they warped those ideas further and made new and frightening things with them.

The most terrifying introduction to Galactic Society was ductape. Humans couldn't agree if it was 'duct tape' or 'duck tape', so Galactics compromised and made

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Challenge #01381-C286: Hell's Rowdy Neighbour

Here in Aussie high school students celebrate end of 12 years education by one week called "Schoolies" often followed by hangovers, regrets, and long explanations to parents. The Media have a field day. -- Anon Guest

The music was so loud that it was incomprehensible. The crowds were so thick that movement was next to impossible. Most of the people present weren't wearing very much at all. The air was thick with a miasma of alcohol, hormones, and a not-so-subtle tincture of

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Challenge #01380-C285: Not a Joke

And so the Princess kissed the frog, and the Prince laughed because, How did she fall for that!?! -- OohLookShiny

The Princess Orinoco glared at the Prince as he laughed so hard that he fell out of the tree he'd been hiding in.

The frog in her hands said, "He promised he'd release my family... Please forgive me."

Princess Orinoco carefully put the frog down by the pond, drew her knife, and marched over to the laughing Prince. His laughter cut short

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Challenge #01378-C283: Heavenly Host

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/151095300715/deliverusfromsburb-gods-falling-in-love-with The god that adopts a ton of kids

1) In the beginning. Stupid mistakes, awkward moments, working out what to do and what to tell the kid

2) Later. There's a horde of them, some of them have grown up and left but there's always more that need help. -- Anon Guest

[AN: this puts the gap count down to TWO]

1)

Hestatus, God of home and hearth, used to be a minor god. And

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Challenge #01377-C282: Soul Mate Counselling

http://jupiterjames.tumblr.com/post/148863222746/

I love reading fics about OTPs having mental bonds and things like that, but they’re always so profound. It’d be so much more entertaining if they still thought like normal people. Imagine this stuff:

“You’ve had that song stuck in your head for days. It’s driving me nuts, too.”

“Why are you making a grocery list in your head while we’re having sex?”

“Is that really what you think about my

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Challenge #01376-C281: Everything? Everything!

"I'm gonna eat everything!"

"Please don't, we'll be kicked out."

"Everything." -- OohLookShiny

There is just one reaction that newcomers have when entering an Unsuitable Food restaurant. Many newcomers have come from planets founded by people with ideals. Or from planets where entire species failed to flourish. And one human settlement survived with stone-age technology, an extremely limited diet, and ritualistic cannibalism, before the Alliance found them.

Faced with the abundance of all the foods of all the Alliance in every possible,

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Challenge #01375-C280: Needing Hands

Breathing bodies is a term for people, not necessarily qualified who can be used for tasks that free up more qualified people(@) - third hands? Well humans have only two, but some people are quite good at being a third hand when needed.(*)

(@) example "here, put your hand on this and yell if it gets hot."

(*) "Hold this steady while I tighten the coupling up." And there are times when they are invaluable. -- Knitnan

[AN: Footnotes in prompts are NOT a

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Challenge #01374-C279: Three Things They Did Wrong and One Thing They Did Right

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/150856878533/agentquinn-sepulchritude-my-fav-trope-is -- Anon Guest

Understanding humans is a difficult business. Gallusians, one of the earliest Galactic species to hire their services, know this better than most.

Kru'ku, designated companion/guide of the exploration vessel Tikavi, wrote what many consider to be the first guide centred around the proper care and handling of humans. Their work encapsulates years of research, anecdotal evidence, assumptions, and quite a large amount of wild guesses.

For a seminal work, it is

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Challenge #01372-C277: It's a Human Thing

1) Aliens being extremely confused when humans that spend any length of time in the area with the nice fashionable wallpaper become nauseous and when questioned try to explain that the patterns are moving

2) True Facts(TM) about Ghosts -- Anon Guest

[AN: This puts the gap count down to three!]

1)

The Klypt'l had done their best to be accommodating. They had refurbished any and all human artefacts into useful furniture -even comfortable furniture- for the use of their Deathworlder

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Challenge #01371-C276: One Small Difference

Dragon: Tries to kidnap a princess

Dragon: Accidentally saves a Prince from a tower

Dragon: Isn't sure what happened -- OohLookShiny

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young Dragon in possession of a good lair, must be in want of a Princess. So it was for Ginrauth, who had not only terrorised the local Dwarfs into submitting 'donations' to his hoard, but had also found an abundance of shiny gemstones within the cavern he dug. He knew all there was

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Challenge #01370-C275: Homicidally Annoying

"Are you eating cereal? It's 8pm."

"Specific mealtimes are social constructs that have no real impact on our lives."

"Is that my cereal?"

"O-ownership is a social construct that..." -- OohLookShiny

There are drawbacks to rooming with a pseudo-intellectual. First was having to know the thesaurus just to have a conversation with them. The second was not murdering them for their constant over-corrections.

And the third...

Madrass(not his real name. He claimed it was 'more spiritual') had taken over the couch.

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