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Amalgam Universe

A 2280-post collection

Challenge #02396-F206: They're Only Human

Alien: "It's only a First Contact with those.....um..... it reads here Huuuemaannts.... How bad can it go?"

Human: ... -- Anon Guest

"What level are they? Three? Three point five?"

"Four point five," said the underling. "Most of that is because of N'Oz and Australia."

"Pfft. Myths and legends. Everyone with a Deathworlder label exaggerates about their abilities. We're four point five. We can take them."

Those last eight words may well have been filed under "Famous Last Words". The underling, who had so far lead a relatively privileged life, said, "Er..."

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Challenge #02394-F204: Achievement Accomplished

"Why do you always have a magnifying glass?"

"I like having dumb and/or ridiculous things with me, and a magnifying glass checks both boxes. Also, it's not ALWAYS a magnifying glass." -- Anon Guest

"What? So... it's a multitool?"

"Well, there is a set of incrementally smaller screwdrivers in the handles, but that's not the point. A magnifying glass is specifically useful in weird directions and I love it. It's a solar-powered firestarter, an analysis tool, a joke prop and a

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Challenge #02393-F203: Ill Met in a Summoning Circle

I can't believe no one's asked you for this before, but a Crossover please...? -- AmberFox

[AN: Betwixt whom? I'm picking my Unlikely Heroes and Shayde because she can wind up anywhen]

They had arrived two minutes past the nick of time. The demonic cultists had succeeded in performing their ritual, summoning a being from a realm beyond their understanding. The portal was open and a humanoid figure was in the middle of resolving itself in the centre of the arcane diagram.

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Challenge #02391-F201: Resisting Instinct Case Files

Creatures from earth evolved for four reasons called the "Four f's", fighting, fleeing, feeding, and fuc- fornicating. -- Anon Guest

Four fine instincts to make life continue are very important on Deathworlds like Terra. Fight or Flight are just two of them. The third -Feed- keeps the living alive and the dependent upon them alive as well. The fourth... let's call it Fornicate... continues the evolving population through preference-based selection. Deathworlds have many opportunities for fatalities, therefore the compulsion to breed is

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Challenge #02389-F199: Be Prepared

There is always an outsider. One that, although they accepted the risks of space travel, are extremely hesitant to accept any OTHER risks. -- Anon Guest

The Humans have a very apt saying: There's always one. In this case, there's always one traveller who takes certain aspects of travel way too casually... and others way too seriously.

The livesuit was one of the best ones on the market. In-suit cleansing, bio-attachments, and necessary padding in silky comfort. The manufacturers bragged that a

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Challenge #02388-F198: Nibbled to Death...

There is a myth about the Shattering. It states that the Shattering was put into motion by one human, one that had seen the future. -- Anon Guest

Five hundred years makes all the difference. For Earth, it viewed all its sundry colonies as a form of backup. Not just for the Human race, but also for the data and knowledge the colonials took with them. Surely, they reasoned, the colonists would keep such vital information about their beginning days.

Of such

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Challenge #02387-F197: Very Strange Creatures

I always believed that humans were these unstoppable beasts, until I met one of their infants. -- Anon Guest

Elsewhere Station. Here there be Humans. Seryk watched hir step. Ze only wanted to hire one human for the exploratory mission and this was one of the Edge Territory stations where they were reputed to swarm. So far, Seryk had seen numerous Edge species, but few Humans.

Those who were present were busy at other occupations. Seryk searched for hours, but found few

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Challenge #02386-F196: Please Ask

When you have an interest, you have something to enjoy in the humdrum of daily life. -- Anon Guest

Welcome to Podunk Station. Mind the legos. This is a natural result of leaving three to five Humans largely alone for long periods of time. Though their daily duties are many, Humans are naturally lazy and figured out how to streamline the humdrum necessities of daily existence... and then sought out new ways to keep busy during their non-active hours.

Fortunately, some of

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Challenge #02385-F195: How Lucky

A scientific analysis crew of aliens hire a human bodyguard. The human has a strange power over fauna, as in they become friendly/borderline domesticated like earth pets. The human is confused as it's happened in many planets/stations. Meanwhile the scientists are having trouble between making sure to get the data and making sure the human stays on as a permanent crew member. -- Anon Guest

It is a known rule of the universe that Humans will attempt to pet anything

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Challenge #02384-F194: Attitude Adjustor

There always a foul-mouthed human within every group, but when there a kid nearby, they put on a mask and they're the politest creature you ever met. -- Anon Guest

They say that people who curse a lot are more likely to be honest. If that is true, then Human Nor was the most honest being in the known universe. If they came with a censor beep, others might be mistaken for believing they were speaking in morse code. Unfortunately for those

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Challenge #02383-F193: No More Pencils...

Can we hear more about the changes in intergalactic schools? (And can two of them be the removal of perfect attendance "awards" and school lunches that even the most well behaved child can't choke down?) -- Anon Guest

The Cogniscent Rights Committee had a lot to say about Terran Standard Schooling, especially that of the pre-shattering era, relics of which can still be found in Terran colonies. Nothing it had to say about the school system was polite. They tried, but there

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Challenge #02382-F192: It's Just a Hobby

Captain: "You have nothing to worry about. Our only human crewmember is one of the nicest, sweetest humans you will ever meet."

Human: "I found my knives! Now, WHO THE HEY HID THEM FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!?" -- Anon Guest

Rule Eleven: Never go anywhere without a knife. -- Leeroy Jethro Gibbs, historical Terran hero.

Civilisation in general holds certain truths to be self-evident. Such as the ability to make and safely use sharp things as one of the stages

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Challenge #02380-F190: Tasty Trade

Alien witnesses true fear in the eyes of a band of country roughneck mercs in the form of a single raised eyebrow of the group's diminutive elderly "grandmother" figure. Grown warriors, men and women, who have charged into the maw of insanity cowed by a 98lbs octogenarian.

Pretty pretty please. -- Yup

In all the known universe, there is little that is as unlikely to be terrifying as the words, "What the diddly gosh-darn heck're you kids got goin' on in here?

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Challenge #02378-F188: Anything You Can Do...

An idea for the humans/earth is space Australia. These aliens fight with their voice. But our songs are stronger. Opera singers? They can't even fathom, they just faint. Thought you'd have fun with it! Thank you -- Anon Guest

The Karolai had thought they were masters of tactics and the ultimate weapon. None had dared oppose them for a thousand years of glory. Their empire spanned most of a galactic arm, and they kept tight control of it with sonic weaponry.

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Challenge #02377-F187: Almost a Nightmare

Imagine you meet your doppelganger of a different species. They look nothing like you, but your personalities are as close to identical as possible! -- Anon Guest

The universe is a fractal, as above, so below. Galaxies spiral into a supergalaxy. Stars spiral into galaxies, clouds of debris spiral into both stars and planets. Atmosphere spirals into weather... liquid drains into a spiral form. Around and around it goes... Is it no wonder, then, that there are patterns of personas?

They do

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