Amalgam Universe

A 2270-post collection

Challenge #02441-F251: The Mikado's Song

Puns: a beautiful amalgamation of the language it derives from, and that situation that comes forth. -- Anon Guest

Of all the atrocities committed by the English, I give you one that has passed into the levels of international crime, yet has also passed almost unnoticed by the law. I give you - the pun.

Words are plastic. Meaning is malleable. One word can sound enough like another to make the actual joke hit like a missile. It is a form of cruel and unusual punishment metered out by those smart enough to create them, to those smart enough to understand them. The kind of joke where the punchline is not greeted with laughter, but with moans of pain.

Only Humans could come up with a style of humour specifically centred on the mental anguish it could deliver. One reliant, specifically, on the easy confusion between words. Further, some puns only work best when they are read in text format, and cannot be communicated verbally. This is simply because the words sound so alike that they cannot be a pun in an audio-only environment. Yet, Humanity did not stop there.

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Challenge #02437-F247: Looking For the Light

The human had seen his entire ship destroyed. It had been a sneak attack, an ambush. He fought for hours, it felt like months to him, but in the end, the pirates had overwhelmed them by sheer numbers. The only reason he survived was because one of his crewmates had done a "hail mary" maneuver and jettisoned an engine that had gone critical. The pirates were so badly damaged from that explosion that they were no longer able to go after what

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Challenge #02436-F246: A Concerning Countdown

I am a big fan of your "Humans are Space Orcs" Series, I read them every chance I can get. I would love to see this one for one of your stories. A deathworlder, a human, has been living with a Havenworlder as his bodyguard for quite some time. He is a scientist and was working with ways to extend a Human's lifespan and she has always been willing to volunteer for his work. Even when she was warned it might hurt.

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Challenge #02435-F245: The It Factor

As a Havenworlder the stuff in space is pretty scary, but I like trying new things. Asking a human to play "tag" was the worst decision of my life. -- Anon Guest

Humans are a walking paradox. They are level four point five Deathworlders, and are the most warlike species known in Galactic space, yet they are also the most caring and considerate cogniscents the Alliance has ever known. They're social creatures, requiring a modicum of positive physical contact for proper mental

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Challenge #02432-F242: Unfortunate History

"No way. A society advanced enough to even think of getting into space must live in harmony with itself. Everybody has following the rules encoded in their genes. The consequences of disrupting the system of government are equivalent to those of an asteroid impact. Of course you'd say that I'm a Havenworlder, things work differently on Terra, yada-yada-yada, but that's an universal rule... right?" -- Anon Guest

"Er. Not really. Humanity's first steps into space travel were the direct result of an

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Challenge #02429-F239: Fresh as the Day...

Due to a new find on Earth the whole Galaxy's is in a State of utter bafflement and confusion.

Even Scientists are clueless about the How.

One Human has Survived. Locked away deep underground in a sort of Cryogenic sleeping Cell, years before even the First Prototypes where built.

The Signs on the Pod says "Activated 2019. All Vitals normal. Beginning Waking-Procedure. T-24 Hours"

A Human still alive from before the Shattering. -- Anon Guest

The vault under the mountain was brilliantly

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Challenge #02428-F238: Resistance Training

being a telepath isn't easy. Being an apprentice one even less. That's why all apprentice telepath first learn and practice on their teachers, then on volunteer from mind reading friendly species, practising the basics, be it reading someone's mind, communicating basically and making the whole thing as less uncomfortable as possible.

The first true "test" is to go and listen as long as possible to a small group of humans passing by the main hall. Officially it's to make sure the basic

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Challenge #02427-F237: The Tune Called Yakety Sax

[AN: So Steemit.com is having some shenanigans which prevent me from posting there. Rest assured that this tale will be up as soon as it can be managed, at which point this post will change to the default template. Thank you for your patience and understanding]

Explaining 'The Benny Hill Show' to future Culture classes. -- Anon Guest

Every entertainment is a product of its time and a product of its medium and a product of its culture. Nothing shows this

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Challenge #02426-F236: Trust Us On This

First meal of the day, in a 'Greasy Spoon' Space diner. -- Anon Guest

There are some spaces that are eternally stuck at one hour. In most casinos, it is eternally early evening - just after work, so there's plenty of time to kick back and relax. Shopping malls have a similar atmosphere, but generally put themselves earlier in the afternoon so one doesn't have to rush to collect the kids. In diners, it's always a little late, but not that late.

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Challenge #02425-F235: A Study of Abnormalcy

On the Edge there are many prisons. Some of them are just normal, regular prisons, but you can also find a special prisons.

Heavenworlder (name) is trying to learn about human psychology. Probably the best place to learn about "true human madness" is prison for unstable human murderers.

"He talked about murders with some sort of weird passion. But he started to be aggressive when I asked him about his childhood experiences. He struggle against cuffs and tried to reach me. If

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Challenge #02423-F233: The Hubris Initiative

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting, "All the Gods are Bastards!" ~ Also by Terry Pratchett -- Anon Guest

There's inviting trouble to your door, and then there's stalking it for apparent fun and alleged profit. Inviting trouble is asking questions with obviously painful and demonstrative answers from the cosmos, like: "What else can go wrong?" or, "So what's the big deal?" or, "How can we possibly fail?" Stalking trouble... well, to

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Challenge #02422-F232: Crit Happens

Most gods throw dice, but Fate plays chess, and you don't find out 'til too late that he's been playing with two queens all along. ~Terry Pratchett

Also known as being a DM. (Dungeon Master) -- Anon Guest

Imagine a game so complicated that even the experts have to look up the rules. It is not just played with dice, but also cards, charts, tables, books, miniatures, and a hell of a lot of imagination. There is only one person at the

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Challenge #02421-F231: Organically Sourced Isotopes

Imagine the surprise across the Galactic Alliance when they discover that humans have more than a mild tolerance to small doses of radiation, and that some of our plants are (in large enough quantities) active enough to set off sensors designed to detect much more harmful materials...

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bananaequivalentdose -- Adam in Darwin

The stasis box arrived in successive layers of protective wrapping, depending on which port it had shipped through, and which species did

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Challenge #02416-F226: Pheromone Formula Number Nine

H: "oh SHIT"

I rushed in as soon as I can, noticing a pink liquid spread across the floor as I slipped on it.

H: "you should lock yourself in you sleeping quarter for a few hours"

My body began to heat up, as the human helped me up they look different form they was a moment ago, Breathing heavily.

M: "why should I?"

I was on the floor again, pulling the human down with me.

H: "Its a universal aphrodisiac" --

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Challenge #02415-F225: Getting the Message

Depending what you listen to it can affect your mind and body drastically. example being that rush of adrenaline while listening to Ghost Ship of Cannibal Rats by Billy Talent and calm mind while Nocturne from String Quartet No. 2 plays in the background. -- Anon Guest

Shayde had either been picking up outdated slanguage or she was trying to say something without the correct words. She said, "Music is mood," out of nowhere. They had been enjoying a companionable silence on

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