Amalgam Universe

A 2271-post collection

Challenge #01188-C093: In Sense'd

1) http://scienceisadesiretoknow.tumblr.com/post/141075139346

2) Remember that mystical "sight" thing the humans have? Well my kid is apparently a fan and now they're trying to do it too. -- Gallifreya

1)

"I keep telling you to invest in aluminium upgrades," Angie sighed, adding just enough coefficient friction to slide Trevor off of the wall mount for the knives. "Why do you keep going near that thing, anyway."

"I couldn't find the paprika."

"We're out. I told you to get more."

Trevor looked blankly at her.

"Last week? I put it in your memo file?"

"Uuuuuuhhhh..." said Trevor. He got that constipated expression that meant he was searching his files. "I... don't have... a memo file?"

These were the things that made her life painful. "Of fucking course. You got your _head stuck on the knife block. UGH! I should just get rid of that thing and get a wooden one!"

Which gave Trevor a bright idea. "Hey, I could make a new memo file and put it on the list with the paprika."

"Just do me a favour and do that far, far away from any magnets?"

2)

There was a cluster of junior Crystates and Pterops and some hushed conversation. The object of their interest was concealed by their furry bodies. Captain K'rik didn't much hold with children aboard a starship, but the new regulations were the law...

He endeavoured to be companionable.

"What are you pups up to? Nothing dangerous, I trust?"

The crowd flustered themselves into a line, and the apparent leaders quickly moved something behind their back. "No sir," squeaked a smaller female Crystate. "Nothing dangerous, we checked."

A slightly larger Pterops chirped, "T'tal!" in a reproachful tone.

They had to be the ringleaders. Children were far less effective at hiding their tells. K'rik didn't need the ships' human to read them with hir mystical 'sight' when these pups were practically shouting that they were up to something.

"Well if it's not dangerous, you can certainly stop trying to hide it," chuckled K'rik.

The assembled pups rustled uncertainly. Chirping doubtfully amongst themselves. "Er," said T'tal. "Our parentals don't like us talking about this..." she had a peculiar headdress behind her back. Rather like Lt-cmdr Jain's glasses. Only far thicker and with an assortment of technological aids. And... K'rik had to note... pup-sized.

With sinking certainty that he knew what the answer would be, K'rik asked, "And what is this?"

"It's a sight assistance device," gushed T'tal. Evidently proud of herself. "I've been asking Lt-cmdr Jain all about hir vision and ze's been helping us come up with this." She put it on and giggled. "It uses our vestigial occular capabilities and enhances the input from outside. And with practice, we're starting to tell colours apart! It's really amazing what Jain can perceive. Even though ze says... this... is... justafraction... ofwhat's... possible?" The little pup cowered in her place and eventually took the device off.

"It's really amazing, sir," said a pre-teen Pterops. "You should try one. We've been making them for all the crew when we're not in class? Only we want to get it right before presenting them? And we tried getting our parentals involved? But..." the pre-teen scratched nervously at the floor. "Um. Mam said it's heretical."

"We're in space, meeting life forms that are direct contradictions to the Holy texts," said K'rik. "I would think a little heresy is warranted." He checked his schedule. "You get your prototypes up to conference room twelve and I'll drag Doctor M'koi in for a practical demonstration."

The pups were ecstatic. But what K'rik was thinking of was the look on the old country doctor's face when he learned that light was real.

(Muse food remaining: 37. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01163-C068: With Cat-like Tread

http://scienceisadesiretoknow.tumblr.com/post/139059138214 -- Gallifreya

The humans had one question when they were invited to display some of their culture for the Numidid in Kal'rike. It was: "How much pyrotechnics are we allowed to use?"

After some research into what pyrotechnics actually were, the answer was, "None, please."

Their letter of acknowledgement and compliance read as more than a little disappointed, but they were showing a willingness to please.

Deathworlders in the capital!

The arena where they were displaying

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Challenge #01162-C067: Ready For Inspection

T'reka (or another of her species) meets a Helmeted Guineafowl -- Gallifreya

The thing about Terrans, when one got down to it, was their fanaticism for introducing things. Some of them, inherently hazardous. Some of them, frankly insane. And some, K'iival found out, previously extinct.

As manager of the Integration Board, she had to inspect and begin the process of clearing Terran species for use or contact with her fellow Numidid in Kal'rike and it's growing satellite settlements.

Some were inherently useful,

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Challenge #01160-C065: Weird is Universal

A person is the only member of their species in a group, so a lot of their behaviour is passed off as "must be a (species) thing."

Then they meet up with the others and it turns out no, none of them do that, it's a Dave thing. -- Gallifreya

In the interests of diplomacy, crews from various species' crew have been shared out into other species' vessels. I think the Galactic Alliance is trying to engender familiarity with others as a

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Challenge #01159-C064: Not-so-Vital Information

Is there a species in the galactic community large enough to hold a human like a hamster? -- Gallifreya

Taken from the Wikipedia Galactica under the heading of Illogical Questions Asked About Humans...

A: Short form answer: usually not.

Long form answer:

Cogniscents in the Galactic Alliance vary in dimensions and mass. For organic cogniscents, the mass is usually between eight and five hundred Standard Weight Units. There are a few exceptions [see file: Hive Minds] but giants are solely in the

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Challenge #01155-C060: One Tiny Flaw

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

And another one -- Gallifreya

"Look," said the proud architect. "It's the perfect sealed environment. Everything anyone could need, including weather systems to strengthen the trees[1]. I thought of everything. Water purification and recycling, food manufacture. I even created a system that eliminates pathogens in the waste recycling system and removes all risks of infections. There's more than adequate space for everyone, lounges and personal space, shared space. Look. There's even a cinema!"

Director

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Challenge #01154-C057: One Ambitious Training Session on Amalgam Station

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

pick one -- Gallifreya

[AN: Only one? They're all gold!]

It was a minor Ambassadorial meet and greet session, allegedly concerning negotiations to stop the Greater Deregulations from being such massive collections of feces towards their fellow human being.

Not acting like massive collections of feces towards non-human cogniscents was going to take significantly more time and effort.

Laws and regulations were not really working. The most the Deregulations would do was show lip service

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Challenge #01148-C051: Filling in Time

Channeling Bugs Bunny (maybe Shayde?): "I know this breaks the laws of physics, but you see I never studied law." -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Yes, Shayde did study the laws of physics, but she also found some loopholes]

They were waiting for the dust to settle and Security had already confiscated Shayde's guitar. Possibly out of self-defence. Which meant a series of increasingly unlikely self-entertainments that she pulled out of her trans-dimensional 'pockets'.

One day, Rael supposed, they would learn that Shayde was

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Challenge #01143-C046: Can it, Carol!

"Hmph. I'll have you know, that whole thing is just a horrid example of misinformation."

"You're basically a two-meter-tall mantis from our perspective. Humans assuming you devoured your mate was kinda to be expected... namely since, uh, you did."

"Well, yes... but not before he was dead! We do have laws, you know. Such is our way for those who are gone. Your kind just throws them in a dirty hole to rot or burns them to ash. How wasteful." -- Gallifreya

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Challenge #01138-C041: All Things Spadge

Some of the nicknames make sense - their name sounds a little like that word and a slip of the tongue gives them a moniker for life.

But how the heck did nicknames like (RL example) Spadge happen? --Gallifreya

[AN: Dunno how it happened to your friend, but...]

The new crewmember had a special word. A word for all things. A word that could mean all things. And after a week of hearing things like:

"This is complete Spadge."

"I love

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Challenge #01137-C040: Special Education

The routine butchering of names by various species that have trouble with minor inflections in other languages which inevitably results in silly nicknames - T'reka > Trekker, for instance, or to borrow from another author, Usze > Uzi and N'tho > Nitro -- Gallifreya

Names are important. Across the Gallactic Alliance, all cogniscent beings had a string of sounds or signals that meant 'this is me'. And some... could get quite picky about it.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Rail," said the human.

"Ra-el," said Rael.

"Ray

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Challenge #01121-C024: Humans Are Space Orcs

A couple of case studies that had managed to be kept away from the general galactic knowledge pool (except under specific licensing and non-disclosure contracts) come to light - the cases of Phineas Gage, James Brady, Ahad Israfil and others that have suffered massive head injuries and made practically full recoveries, despite the loss of large amounts of brain. (And often despite the lack of medical care of the time - Phineas's accident was in the 1820s)

(Warning for Ahad, pictures from

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Challenge #01120-C023: Irreconcilably Different

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/137972037479/songofsunset-fireandwonder-songofsunset -- Gallifreya

[AN: I know for a fact that there's a really bizarre bug out there. Its young can only eat this super-rare fungal growth, and they solve the problem of making more babies by having one larva gestate like a billion more larvae inside it as it eats. I can't find the name of the thing for life of me. I know David Attenborough talked about it, but that still leaves a lot of

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Challenge #01112-C015: Performance Piece

A scrap of data is recovered. Death's Belief Speech, from Hogfather. Doesn't matter if it's the book or the movie.

For those who haven't read it, a clip from the movie is here.

Not as anything unique to humanity, but rather as a comment on Sophonts as a whole, from a human who would have very much liked to meet the rest of the universe. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: I would also love to meet the rest of the universe, but I have

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Challenge #01111-C014: To be Good Parents

Speaking of created peoples - whether biology or technology-based - and whether they can be trusted/will rebel/will have morals/all the standard concerns:

"If we do our jobs right, our children are better people than we are." -- RecklessPrudence

The station officials had cleared out a medbay for the anxious parents. A standard Medik and a Wave of the Future Medtech stood by. Patient and implacable.

It was one thing to be first-time parents. It was an entirely different level

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