Just Add Prompt

A 4934-post collection

Challenge #01330-C235: Grass No Greener

Supervillian grad student, just trying to get by: (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: This tale harkens back to story 1 in this thing ]

I tried to tell her it wouldn't work. Convincing a superhero Aunty to finance a neophyte supervillain requires more points in debate than dear little Wondergal ever possessed.

Just like every other rich person, Aunty Wonderbabe thought that all the poor people had to do to get ahead was work harder.

"Fine," said Wondergal. "Then I demand to have my allowance revoked for the rest of the semester. If I can work hard, I shouldn't have a problem, right?"

"If you want to pick that animal's side," announced Aunty Wonderbabe, "Then you can live like her too." And just like that, she was kicked out with just the uniform she had on.

So Wondergal moved into my tiny little closet apartment that had just enough room to turn around in and fart.

It was cramped with just me in it. What there was of 'kitchen' was a one-ass nook full of refrigerator, toaster oven, and one cardboard cupboard that was in danger of falling apart. And of course, it was bare. There was just enough room for the single bed and the crate I used to hold my laptop on.

Wondergal summarised it in one word. "Yikes."

"It ain't much, but mi casa, es tu casa. At least until the absentee landlord receives a complaint about two of us living here so he can kick us out and raise the rent some more."

She giggled. "That can't happen, that's illegal."

Sweet summer child... Of course I helped her alternate identity get work. It was easy to sell a privileged child on the outs with her rich family. What she wasn't used to was the work.

She might have powers, but this kind of stuff wears you out on a spiritual level. Smiling and being nice to asshole customers. Staying quiet about those same customers and their sexual assault. Taking out the garbage, taking in the orders, and taking all of the blame.

By the second week, she was using her X-ray vision to help me dumpster dive.

The nearest food place that was open at the hours we had time to be free was a dive. No vegetables worth mentioning, of course. Packaged stuff that was definitely not vegan, atkins, or anything else approved. Possibly not FDA approved either. But it filled the holes and that was what mattered.

She auctioned off her authentic, signed, Wondergal costume to internet perverts so we could make the rent. She lost every single standard she had when she was rich.

And then she had a brilliant idea. She blogged about it as Sally Stevens. How she had a fight with her sponsors over a relationship with Maria -me- her girlfriend. And now she was trying to make do on the other side of the fence.

It helped that she was blonde and pretty. It helped that I stayed in the background and didn't say a lot. She got quite popular. And then YouTube pulled her account just before a big cheque was due. We were depending on that to pay for the new cupboard after the old one finally collapsed.

And everyone knew how badly our landlord was overcharging, but we couldn't afford a lawyer. Everything is shut up and pay up when you're that broke.

It took us a few months of busting our asses, but that one was the final straw. Wondergal turned to a life of crime. We got away with a couple of heists before Aunty Wonderbabe turned up to crash the party.

My Sally did all the heavy hitting. Two months of creep dodging between jobs definitely honed her reflexes. Meanwhile, I managed to sneak off with the loot.

We chilled out opposite the jewellery store that started it all, two nights later. All the money we got from fencing the loot was already spent, and our debtors always wanted more.

"Crime is a symptom of a world turned rotten," Sally brooded.

"Hey. You're completely the wrong gender for the stubbly anti-hero."

"High time there was an anti-heroine. Right?"

I giggled. "Could call yourself Miss Methadone."

She got it in an instant, and laughed her first real laugh in months. "Robin the Hood and her merry dames?" she countered.

"Eh." I sighed, looking down at the store. They'd upped their security of course. I couldn't See a way in any more.

"Y'know..." said Sally. "If I still had a Wondergal outfit, I could walk in and convince them that I needed all those diamonds to save the world."

"Diamonds are shit. Go for the sapphires. At least you get close to market value on the resale."

But, as it turned out, neither of us needed to. Sally still had the passcodes for a bunch of super-lairs. One, unified, blitz attack on all the heroic resources and all of a sudden the entire city was upside-down.

And that made us the first paired Valedictorians, that year. Sally insisted.

(Muse food remaining: 18. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

I'm not saying it's bears, but it's bears. (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

"And in other news, Australian zoologists have managed to capture the fabled Yowie. Down by the little outback town of Canyapassabeermate[1], a local dingo trapper found more than he bargained for in one of his cage traps."

They cut to the live feed where the only person wearing corks on their hat was the American newscaster.

"G'day from down under," she cheered, blatantly ignoring the winces of contact embarrassment from

Read more »

Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Ghosts and the word 'boo'. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

"What the hell did you say to that demon, Demon?"

"Shayde," said the demon. "And she was'nae a demon, she was Seeliegh. A Fae."

"You speak gibberish, demon," said Sir Ethil. "More so than usual. Everyone knows that fairies are small and have butterfly wings. That monster looked more like an insect trying to appear human."

Behind Sir Ethil, Tragyk the Mage snorted. He had a lot of trouble with pollen, every time

Read more »

Challenge #01327-C232: Almost Like Home

Vulcans discover Australian wildlife. -- Anon Guest

Out in the Never-Never, it's either deathly dry or flooded to the point of cataclysm. This time, when the Vulcans sent their science team to investigate, it was deadly dry. Though they had a native guide with them, they seemed most at home in this arid and hostile environment.

Some even felt chilly, and wore coats.

"Ey up," said the native guide. "Got a nesting emu up ahead."

'Ey up', they were assured, was Australian

Read more »

Challenge #01326-C231: Seek Understanding

http://immaplatypus.tumblr.com/post/148474190835/fieldbears-ursulavernon-adamusprime-if

if you didn’t know stuff about humans you would think they get mad at the weirdest stuff

like one human raises their thumb to another human that’s good, humans like that

one human raises their middle finger to another human

humans do NOT LIKE THAT

humans think that is a BAD FINGER

don’t you DARE raise that specific finger at me

any other finger is ok just not that one

--

Anthropology

Read more »

Challenge #01325-C230: An Everyday Misadventure

http://mrfebruarius.tumblr.com/post/144148482350/papyrus-deserves-to-be-carried-around-like

Image: Frisk carrying papyrus bridal style, apparently running. Papyrus seems surprised and confused "Papyrus deserves to be carried around like princess that he is." -- Gallifreya

"NYA-HA-HOW-OW-OW!" Papyrus rolled into a sitting position on the field, clutching at his left boot. A floating number indicated that he had taken quite a few points off his total HP.

Frisk instantly stopped playing and ran to their friend. They signed, Do you need help?

"The Great Papyrus

Read more »

Challenge #01323-C228: We'll Let You Terraform Mars For Free

Both from this post: http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/148437315937/bioluminosity-jean-bo-peep-artiestroke

1) I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.

They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.

2) (Description of monstrous animal, weighs 3 tons, runs 30kph, bites 8000 newtons. Just as fast in water. Only some crewmembers who dropped all their gear and ran survived.)

"You later describe the

Read more »

Challenge #01322-C227: Jinkies!

http://blazichu.tumblr.com/post/148360791519/callmegallifreya-blazichu-im-gonna-tell-you

Scoobydoo-esque mystery but with real murder. Murderer goes for Lewis as next victim, gets spectral surprise. "Oh look, I'm dead. Are you happy?" -- Gallifreya

[AN: And proper credit should go to Blazichu who came up with the idea]

They said he haunted an abandoned town, and murdered people who came through it thanks to misdirections from their GPS. They said he was a survivalist that could eat whatever he hunted. And since skulls and

Read more »

Challenge #01321-C226: Lost and Found

The Ballad of Apollo XIII - sung to the tune of 'The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald', but with a triumphant ending. -- RecklessPrudence

"I can't find Ambassador Shayde."

They should have been terrifying words, but they had lost any such sparkle through repetition. It had got to the point that Sherlock and Officer Marken both used Ambassador Shayde as testing material for new recruits.

So far, only one sharp Ensign had passed the Shayde Test.

This... was not that Ensign.

"You've

Read more »

Challenge #01320-C225: The Catalogue of Bad Ideas

The invasion was so simple. We sent our soldiers to their children, and they played with them as if they were toys.

When the time came, the attack began, and soon the world was ours.

https://wilwheaton.tumblr.com/post/148216965069/ - quoting Wil Wheaton -- Anon Guest

They were everywhere. Insanely popular. Every child just had to have one. They were obnoxious, of course. Designed by some insane and scheming mind to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

And they were

Read more »

Challenge #01318-C223: Gem Daycare

1) Steven likes to visit Centi. She and the others have sort of adopted him as an honorary crewmember at this point.

2) From http://muppetymels.tumblr.com/post/144837683649 -

Teaching kindergarten is like being an ambassador to beings from another planet and teaching them how to assimilate to our culture.

“No, we do not LICK water fountains. Perhaps that is acceptable on your planet, but here on earth we prefer to DRINK from water fountains.”

“Physics might be a little

Read more »

Challenge #01317-C222: For Hate's Sake...

"You idiot! Can't you see this will hurt both of us?"

"Well yes, but it'll hurt you a lot more than it'll hurt me, and I can live with that." -- OohLookShiny

There were things she could never talk about. And one of them was the battle of wits with a godlike being.

They could make their arena look like anything. Be made out of anything. They could cast a glamour so powerful that it overwhelmed her. But there was always that

Read more »

Challenge #01316-C221: Random Encounter

Pick your favourite cartoon character, print or media and have them meet/interact with another. -- Knitnan

[AN: You do realise SPG have their own webcomic right? but I'll play this straight this time]

"That wormhole really did a number on me," mumbled Sylvia. "Where the flarf are we?"

"I have no idea," Wander chirped. He had made a campfire and was roasting something on a stick. "But the beach is lovely and there's a cute little town on the other side

Read more »

Challenge #01315-C220: Get Lost!

To get really lost you need a GPS without updated maps, or worse with proposed routes entered as functioning. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Did I tell anyone that story? Stay tuned to my tumblr feed today for the full thing]

"Turn left at the fork."

"What?" said Tirla. "This thing is clearly showing a right turn at the fork."

"Turn left at the fork," said the mechanical voice.

"It's still a few hundred SDU's. We can slow down and see which way

Read more »

Challenge #01314-C219: The Long Days

These things are sent to try us and they certainly do. -- Anon Guest

All of the longest days start in the wee small hours. Haven't you noticed? They begin with the nightmare. The terrors. The loud neighbour who accidentally or on purpose blasts five seconds of noise into the air. Or the telemarketer who calls without realising the time where you live. Or the obnoxious party relative who drunk-dials you for no real reason, or under the mistaken assumption that your

Read more »