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Unlikely Heroes

A 173-post collection

Challenge #02150-E321: Deal With the Deity

"I know that you are a higher being, like a god or something. But, for the love of everything that's sacred, can you please stop playing with the basic laws of physics for five minutes ?" -- Anon Guest

"Aw, but it's fun," said the Roaming Deity. A gesture made the Kobold Rogue now known as Lady Anthe float up to the ceiling again.

She bobbed around with a very put-upon expression on her tiny, draconic features. She had only shrieked once, when this wandering minor god had first pulled this stunt. That was enough for them, unfortunately.

"Listen," said Wraithvine. "We already know we're merely mortal beings who are literally at your mercy... but you also need us. Deities need worshippers. Worship gives you power, and it gives you life. We... can be your agents."

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Challenge #02147-E318: Disturbing My Rest? Again?

"Why am I always either the meat shield or the distraction ?"

"Because you are the only one here that's immortal. And you got your regeneration thing."

"I may be immortal, but it doesn't change the fact that those pikes friggin hurt.... And it ruin my vest." -- Anon Guest

Never let anyone tell you that immortality is a blessing. Anyone with a lick of sense knows that it is a curse. It's even worse if you're immortal and an adventurer. Never mind

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Challenge #02144-E315: Terrifying Obstacles

(Person 1) (Quietly): So now we have to somehow get across this long metal hallway without making any noise. How are we gonna do this?

(Person 2): Pulls out (very long) rolled-up carpet from their backpack -- TheDragonsFlame

Marvin looked down at Lady Anthe and the carpet that was still unfurling down the metal hallway. "Really?" he whispered. "Are you prepared for everything?"

"I like to be," she whispered, grinning as the final tassels landed with a soft 'thwup'. It didn't set

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Challenge #02138-E309: Plot Thwart

"In my defense I'm not used to people listening when I speak." -- OohLookShiny

"In our defense," said Wraithvine, "you were the first of us to come up with a workable plan."

"Wasn't that workable," sighed Marvin. "We failed."

Lady Anthe, also chained to the wall of the dungeon, was smiling. Always be wary when a Kobold is smiling. "I wouldn't say that. We got into the castle. Objective one went without a hitch."

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Challenge #02108-E285: Failed Medicine Check

"What happened?"

"The kobold was thirsty and drank some brandy by accident." -- Anon Guest

On the plus side, the enemy was getting a routing it never suspected from a foe they couldn't even focus on. On the minus side, this had to be doing something awful for Chrysanthemum's bodily systems. Dragonkin had different biology to mammalian lifeforms. A drop of alcohol might dull a human's senses, but to one of reptillian descent... It was like a plus three Potion of Haste.

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Challenge #02076-E252: Omniphobia

"You said it wouldn't be scary this time!"

"Technically I said it wouldn't be a monster. "

"It's a dragon!"

"I stand by my statement!" -- OohLookShiny

[AN: This is before they meet and rescue Marvin in Dirt's Worth]

Wraithvine mentally ticked 'dragon' off the list of beasts that ze could make hir phantom steed appear to be like. The problem was that Kobolds like the freshly-renamed Chrysanthemum were renowned for their craven cowardice and apparently terrified of every possible mount they could

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Challenge #02054-E230: Dirt's Worth

"Look I'm okay with you scapegoating this onto me-"

"What? Why!"

"But next time warn me first. Do you know how hard it is to turn a weak lie into a strong one with no background info?" -- OohLookShiny

"Okay," Marvin allowed. "But... I still need to know why. Most people react to being pushed under the omnibus with vengeance."

Lady Anthe sat on the table so she could level a glare at the Human Fighter. "I'm a Kobold. The first name

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Challenge #01867-E043: Got'cha

[Person 1] “It’s no use! We’ll never make it in time!”

[Person 2] “Scoot over. I didn’t have my driving license revoked for nothing!” -- TheDragonsFlame

So. Let's recap. They were in what only appeared to be a Tuktuk, stuck in traffic, desperate to make it to the big public exposé to expose more than the badguy could ever want made public, and without much of a hope. Except the one that Els was uncannily good with machines and

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