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Challenge #01078-B346: A Miracle by the Riverside

We have a saying, "They're not dead 'til they're warm and dead" -- Gallifreya

Lizards watched in alarm as the humans pulled the child out of the freezing water. Limp and lifeless, the sad scrap of a life seemed beyond salvage. And yet...

The humans around the baby were working tirelessly to instil life into the apparently lifeless. They stripped off wet clothes. Wrapped the tiny body in foil and applied heating blankets. Warmed up bags of saline to plumb into the child's veins. Pumped and pumped and pumped at its chest. Breathed into its lungs.

"Is dead body," insisted Tetarna. These stupid mammals were the stupidest. They either didn't believe the child to be dead or didn't want it to be dead. "Time for sorrow feast, yes?"

The surrounding humans never stopped abusing the body. Lifting its head and neck to breathe air into its lungs. Pumping at the chest in a parody of a heartbeat. Listening, ear to chest, for a sign that Tetarna assumed would never come.

One, the one working on pumping the drowned child's chest, spared a moment to growl, "They're not dead 'til they're warm and dead."

It was torturous. Disturbing. Downright grizzly. Grotesque. Tetarna shielded her younger brood-mates from the sight of it.

And then, just when the entire family was about to run away for their own mental health, one of the humans crowed, "PULSE!"

The one who pumped at the body's chest cheered. Continued breathing for the baby. "Come on, kiddo. Come on. Just breathe, baby, breathe..."

And a few Standard Minutes, later, the body coughed. Gasped. Vomited water and bile onto the rocks underneath. Ze immediately started up a weak cry, which caused the humans to cheer.

Tetarna slumped to a sitting position. Forced herself to remember the shock relieving breathing pattern so that she would not be next under the humans' relentless hands. "You is beating child to live again?"

"It's called CPR. Cardio... pulmonary... resuscitation," panted a nearby human. Taking a break by leaning back on the pebbles of the beach. "Humans - especially young humans - can go into a sort of suspended animation when they're very cold. The trick is to keep it up until they're warm. Then we know."

The baby human, once dead, was crying louder and longer. Passed from one comforting pair of arms to another. Finally piled onto a stretcher with a hot water bottle done up to look like a teddy bear, a wrapping of silver blankets, quilting, and a device that pumped warm air into a blanket, and then around the child. And, of course, someone to hold their hand and remind them that they were not alone.

Most of the swarming humans carried the wailing baby away.

"Warm and dead," Tetarna echoed.

"Yes. Humans are hard to kill." The human struggled off the rocks and joined Tetarna's family by the courtesy warming unit. "I could tell stories."

This was the human who had entered the gelid waters to fetch the child. They were still wet. And fighting unconsciousness. "You is need help, also," said Tetarna.

"Yeah. They'll be back for me. In the meantime... keep me talking, eh? Good yarn... can save a life."

Tetarna did her duty for a fellow cogniscent. "How so?"

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Challenge #01077-B345: Urban Swashbuckler

Out for a walk and carrying a golf umbrella, walker is attacked by nesting birds. Falls into temptation from watching Far Too Many Fantasy Shows. Opening line. "Beware foul fiends for I am the greatest blade you'll ever meet!" And there are bystanders. Have fun! -- Knitnan

There are several ways to carry an umbrella in modern society, and none of them worked for Latora. There was always one convenience after another that made all the traditional methods a problem. Which was

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Challenge #01076-B344: An Unsettling Necessity

CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS NECROMANCERS! YAAAY! -- Gallifreya

[AN: This prompt was NEARLY spoiled by the CMC getting their Cutie Marks. Almost]

Mayor Mare had let them use an abandoned shop as their Cutie Mark Crusader headquarters. Now that there was help for ponies who wanted to get or understand their marks, there was business.

And very rarely, it came from parents worried about their foals.

Gloomy Doom was a black filly with an equally dark mane. She was one of the few

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Challenge #01075-B343: Ah, My Old Enemy...

"A robot who encounters a problem, attempts to find the solution, makes it worse, and then continues attempting to fix it until their programmer arrives to find them banging shit together and swearing"

from http://cnvvj.tumblr.com/post/134743888161/ryttu3k-audacityinblack-durpacerangerrogjro -- Anon Guest

"Th-this is just stage one," murmured Alphys. "A test."

It looked like a brick with buttons and dials and -yes- a big LED readout for a face.

"I-I-I'll be adding f-features, later. Like. L-l-legs..."

Metta slid into the

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Challenge #01074-B342: When Realities Collide

"No, sir. They're not green, they're blue! They talk funny and they're drinking everything!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: a doff of the witch's hat and a formal bow to Sir Terry Pratchett. You are still missed. Also I saw that reference to Monty Python, you magnificent sneak]

Kazooland, though it is a reality unto itself, is also a Corridor realm. It has little back doors to every other realm of imagination. Soft spots where you can trip over another reality without a

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Challenge #01073-B341: One Lazy Afternoon in Shayde's Entertainment Lounge

Is laughing at someone doing something stupid and reaping the consequences a very human thing?

"They're fine, so it's funny"

Even the idiot that tried to go sledding on a bin lid is laughing (leg in plaster optional)

"Look how far I flew when I came off!" -- Gallifreya

"What the living heck is this?" demanded Rael.

On her screen, two 'knights' in cardboard armour sat in shopping trolleys and held broomsticks like lances. They faced off at opposite sides of a

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Challenge #01072-B340: Pursued Knowledge

Someone that can see, or at least somehow perceive, Lewis/the deadbeats and is determined to study them -- Gallifreya

A shot of the old haunted house. Then a mirror, in which someone was wearing a headcam.

"They've left the house," said the person. "This is my chance to investigate the phenomenon. I've been living in the neighbourhood and I've seen a few weird things. I know something else is in there. They never lock their doors so I'm going in."

The

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Challenge #01071-B339: One Good Apple

A TV psychic with genuine ability and their crew end up on "This Old Haunted Mansion" -- Gallifreya

Pamela Aerie ran a very small psychic show on the local PBS with a budget so small that they had to recycle their shoestrings. She filmed a lot of it with the one camera she'd owned since 1988 and the help of her husband and children.

And she was one of the few who actually asked permission to guest on their webcast.

The instant

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Challenge #01070-B338: One Slow Afternoon at Unsuitable Food Eat

EUREKA!

Which is greek for "This bath is %*£&ing cold!" -- Gallifreya

"I thought it meant, 'hand me a towel'."

"I heard it was, 'there's a cockroach in the bath'."

"No, no, no. It really means, 'is my time up already'."

Shayde, gloomily watching her joke plummet like a leaden balloon that was currently on fire, tapped the countertop for another fudge sundae. "What goes around comes around," she sighed. "And this one went around so often it's no' a joke

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Challenge #01069-B337: Out in the Rain

The Underground residents and Weather. -- Gallifreya

They were all clustered together inside the nearest police station. Mostly, clustered around Frisk in a protective and comforting manner. The cluster of monsters tightened a little as the ceiling made a noise.

"W-w-what is that?" quavered Alphys.

Frisk signed, Rain.

"I saw that in your animes," whispered Undyne. "Clear water just... falls out of the sky." She grinned widely. "I have got to see this!"

The monsters swarmed out into the parking lot. Even

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Challenge #01068-B336: A Reason to Sing

Sans, you have a lovely singing voice! -- Gallifreya

[AN: This prompt references this fan mix of a song called Drop Pop Candy. CAUTION: That song is an ear-worm. Do not listen until you have something that trumps everything.]

Sans hadn't realised he was singing out loud until Frisk began clapping. He hadn't been in a mood to sing since... O Gods... since the first time they had escaped the underground. So many resets ago.

It had been over a year. Things.

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Challenge #01067-B335: They've Been Hiding up There For Ages

http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/043/748/cc4.jpg

Frisk the undisputed monarch of hide and seek (and massive troll) -- Gallifreya

One thing the files said about Frisk, was that if they didn't want to be found, the seeker would never find them.

One rather malevolent foster parent called the police to search for them, and the child just spontaneously turned up in the rear of a squad car. With a friend who was not so good at

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Challenge #01066-B334: Touch Feast

You mentioned Frisk being tactile - so they probably don't mind at all if the monsters take every opportunity to pick them up, carry them around, hug them or hold them (and one time pretend to suplex them) -- Gallifreya

The first thing people noticed about Frisk was their silence. The second thing they noticed, assuming they got past the silence, was that Frisk was rarely out of the arms of a monster.

It didn't matter which one. Whatever came along to

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Challenge #01065-B333: Santa Claws

The Santa Suit in King Fluffybuns' wardrobe. -- Gallifreya

The first rays of Christmas morning lit the snow with gold. This was a day of magic. A day of miracles. And the best miracle was that Frisk had a family now.

Mom Toriel and Dunkle Sans. And Uncle Papyrus. And Aunties Undyne and Alphys. And a whole host of others who would be sharing the feast at the Really Big table.

The grin on Frisk's head wouldn't go away. Their breathless giggles

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Challenge #01064-B332: The Pros and Cons of Cute

That one ambassador that has at this point given up on avoiding being picked up and cuddled/held/used as a large teddy bear, and just gets on with paperwork (or listens/chats/relaxes/reads a book/takes a nap) while their fur/scales/feathers are groomed by whoever got them this time, so long as they don't have any appointments to get to. -- Gallifreya

[Re-using Ambassador Ha'ri from story #00761, available for purchase in the next Instants Anthology (coming soon)

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