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Challenge #01473-D012: Life is But a Dream

Imagine waking up from a coma, in a hospital where you were no longer called a patient, but the term 'consumer' was used. That the care you received was based on the cost of doing business, not your outcome as a patient. That the normal systems and avenues to access resources had all changed massively, and when you ask how long you were in a coma, you find out that the coma didn't exist. That your family was changed, that the people you once loved were almost human at times, but in certain flashes, they resembled blood-soaked monsters who feed on kindness and generosity. That a few good people in leadership positions try to fight the invasion, but the whole world is looking to you because you what? Woke up to a "new world order", that you were "immune to the infected antidote", that you were the last "human" on earth, etc. where does she/he go from that point in their journey? -- @kristy1

[AN: I fixed your prompt up for readability. I hope you don't mind. Also I get the feeling that this is a very specific nightmare for you]

Syd woke up from a dream of dancing and rather good music to a white ceiling. Beige walls. Sterile scent to the air. What? was her immediate thought. There were no flowers. No cards. No helium balloons. But there was also no pain, and a partition up against where the window should have been. She pressed the call button.

"Your call has been noted and logged, and your patient number placed in a service queue," said a calm, mechanical voice from somewhere behind her head. "You are currently number. Two. Seven. In the service queue. We know you had a choice in medical assistance, and we thank you for supporting Insuricare."

"...what?" Syd mumbled. Her mouth was dry. And there was no carafe of water on her beige bed table. Nor on the set of drawers by the bedside. There were five other beds, all neatly made, but nobody else in the room with her.

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Challenge #01472-D011: Lawful Suspicion

“I wanna leave without a trace cause I don’t wanna die in this place.” -- Song-Lyric-Prompts

The Night Guard who had found her outside, one second after curfew, nodded in understanding. For an instant, their eyes were human, before they remembered to be cold and cruel once more. "We have a duty to the citizens of Nova York, miss. Including the citizens who are breaking the law. Now we find it suspicious that you were cleaning up after yourself as you

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Challenge #01471-D010: Plus La Change...

“We both do work around here.” “Yeah but you feed the dog and I clean up the shit, there’s a difference.” -- WannaSheWriter

"What? We don't have a dog."

"It's a metaphor. You cook, but you leave the cleaning to me. You make things to sell at the market, but you leave all the mess from making it all over the house for me to sweep up. You fix the garden, and then you track mud indoors. All of your work

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Challenge #01470-D009: Survivor's Tale

I am mentally ill. I can say that. I am not ashamed of that. I survived that, I’m still surviving it, but bring it on. Better me than you. I don’t want to be a victim. — Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

On the cusp of sleep, I hear voices. Stranger's voices, almost always. Sometimes, they're spouting nonsense. I know they're the firings of my unconscious brain gearing up for a dream. Other times... well...

They're the voices of people I know,

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Challenge #01469-D008: Judge Alike

“I heard someone say once that many of us only seem able to find heaven by backing away from hell. And while the place that I’ve arrived at in my life may not precisely be everyone’s idea of heavenly, I could swear sometimes—if I am quiet enough—I can hear the angels sing.” —Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking (2008) -- RecklessPrudence

Hell, like Heaven, is relative. One being's paradise is another's torture. And for Til, life was that torture. Another

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Challenge #01468-D007: Beware of Storytellers

“The anthropologists got it wrong when they named our species Homo sapiens ('wise man'). In any case it's an arrogant and bigheaded thing to say, wisdom being one of our least evident features. In reality, we are Pan narrans, the storytelling chimpanzee.” - Terry Pratchett (GNU) -- RecklessPrudence

What's most impressive about humans, besides their patented unkillability, is their propensity for stories. Stories encompass their lives. They explain their past with stories. Foretell the future with stories...

They even seek evidence to

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Challenge #01467-D006: Surrender Now, or... What?

:In front of a delegation from [Bad Guy], facetiously:

"Commander [Good Guy]? Do you have any idea where the [Bad Guy]'s Military is? They seem to have misplaced it. And do you smell something burning?" -- RecklessPrudence

Of course, it was a metaphor. The humans were irritatingly rife with them. Smell could no more travel through the gulfs of space than sound could transmit through vacuum. Nevertheless, they were also irritatingly good at inventing means of transmitting information at ludicrously faster

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Challenge #01466-D005: One Family Argument on a Summer Evening

"I haven't heard from [blank] in a while,"

"I may have not-so-accidentally told them about your secret popcorn stash,"

"You what!!" -- OohLookShiny

"You told Kel about my popcorn stash."

"Um. In my favour, I was mad at you at the time."

"You told Kel about my popcorn stash."

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Challenge #01465-D004: The Wrong Question

English is... well... it's a Germanic language where sixty percent of it is based on Latin. That should tell you everything you need to know about how awful a language English is. -- RecklessPrudence

The current meeting of the Society for the Preservation of Original English wound to a cold halt. "Who let the linguist in?" demanded someone in the assembly hall.

"Uh," said the unexpected linguist. "This isn't a language study group?"

The Chair-being took a deep breath. "This is the

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Challenge #01464-D003: Dammit Dwayne!

Always remember, no matter where you are, no matter when you are, someone out there is intent on being the reason we can't have nice things. -- RecklessPrudence

Through all of time and all of space, there's always one of Them. You know Them. They're always cheerfully helpful and a beat behind everyone else's drum. They mean well, which is the most damnable of faint praise. Their heart's in the right place, people say. It's the elbows, knees and ankles you have

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Challenge #01463-D002: Visit Zoq'in University!

Motto of a Uni in a world where Humans are Doc Brown (doesn't necessarily have to be a human-run uni): Training the Terrifying Terran Technologists of Tomorrow. -- RecklessPrudence

All things considered, it is a great boon to the universe that Terrans have never been able to read Golq'ethin. Otherwise, when bright-eyed and enthusiastic future engineers of all flavours entered the decorative gates, they'd have read, Zoq'in University, Training the Terrifying Terran Technologists of Tomorrow. But they could not begin to unriddle

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Challenge #01462-D001: The Curse of Vows

Rest in Peace. Now get up. And go to war. -- RecklessPrudence

Falstaff the Paladin breathed in with great difficulty. "Would it kill you," he croaked, "to at least let me rest for a day or two before the resurrection spell?"

The appropriately-named Faith concentrated on her healing mantras for a moment. "The longer you're dead, the worse things get for you. Do you remember the Brain Damage Incident? I remember the Brain Damage Incident. And let's not talk about the intestine

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Challenge #01461-C366: Abominations Are Relative

[Conversation Participant #1]: [Name mankind was not meant to know]! Where did you come from!? [Conversation Participant #2]: From the blighted womb of your worst nightmare, quivering on legs innumerable, soaked in the black ooze of your greatest fears. I rear back my heavy head, and howl: DETEEENTION ...for AAAALLL three of you! I swear, I'm the only one around here that doesn't find threats and violence to be charming. -- RecklessPrudence

"Aw come on Mx Elth... this is the AV club,

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Challenge #01460-C365: The Slippery Slope

Trying to sell a specifically weapons design team as a pro-peaceful exploration move is sort of the zen apex of the art of budgetary committees, no matter how necessary self-defence is out on the frontier for Federation starships. -- RecklessPrudence

"Point of Order," said Admiral Joubert. The rest of the budgetary committee moaned in anticipation. "These so-called science vessels you're proposing look more like warships. The Federation has never stood for this sort of thing."

"It's called being prepared, Joubert," growled Admiral

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Challenge #01459-C364: Dangerous Encounters

A [Human science ship] is basically a prickly little echidna going through space wearing a mortarboard. It just wants to science. If you stop it sciencing, it can survive you kicking it, hurt the foot that you were foolish enough to use to kick it, and call for help from the other, decidedly LESS peaceful ships Humanity has to offer. -- RecklessPrudence

Humans are dangerous. Everyone knows this. The preferred method of interacting with humans, for the longest time, was simply two

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