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Challenge #02384-F194: Attitude Adjustor

There always a foul-mouthed human within every group, but when there a kid nearby, they put on a mask and they're the politest creature you ever met. -- Anon Guest

They say that people who curse a lot are more likely to be honest. If that is true, then Human Nor was the most honest being in the known universe. If they came with a censor beep, others might be mistaken for believing they were speaking in morse code. Unfortunately for those in Human Nor's aura, they did not come with a censor beep.

That is, until the day that Human Nor and five of the crew of the Consummate Scrounge rescued a life pod from the erratic course it had error'd its way into. The solitary occupant had mashed some buttons with a handful of something else that had been mashed. Forensic analysis would later identify the remains as a banana. This was unsurprising because the sole occupant was less than two years old.

What was surprising was Human Nor's reaction, and actions after said discovery. Instead of the usual stream of unfiltered invective, interspersed with actual conversive meaning, Human Nor changed their entire attitude to the point of being nearly unrecognisable.

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Challenge #02383-F193: No More Pencils...

Can we hear more about the changes in intergalactic schools? (And can two of them be the removal of perfect attendance "awards" and school lunches that even the most well behaved child can't choke down?) -- Anon Guest

The Cogniscent Rights Committee had a lot to say about Terran Standard Schooling, especially that of the pre-shattering era, relics of which can still be found in Terran colonies. Nothing it had to say about the school system was polite. They tried, but there

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Challenge #02382-F192: It's Just a Hobby

Captain: "You have nothing to worry about. Our only human crewmember is one of the nicest, sweetest humans you will ever meet."

Human: "I found my knives! Now, WHO THE HEY HID THEM FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!?" -- Anon Guest

Rule Eleven: Never go anywhere without a knife. -- Leeroy Jethro Gibbs, historical Terran hero.

Civilisation in general holds certain truths to be self-evident. Such as the ability to make and safely use sharp things as one of the stages

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Challenge #02381-F191: Viva La Revolution

The peppy one with beautiful blond hair is always in black and the one with dyed-black spiky hair is always in soft pastels. -- Anon Guest

She wore braids. Neat, tidy braids she wound into a knot of a bun in the back of her head. The only thing that changed about that 'do was the length and volume of the hair, and that was progress that was annually cut back. The rest of her choices were pretty much anything she liked

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Challenge #02380-F190: Tasty Trade

Alien witnesses true fear in the eyes of a band of country roughneck mercs in the form of a single raised eyebrow of the group's diminutive elderly "grandmother" figure. Grown warriors, men and women, who have charged into the maw of insanity cowed by a 98lbs octogenarian.

Pretty pretty please. -- Yup

In all the known universe, there is little that is as unlikely to be terrifying as the words, "What the diddly gosh-darn heck're you kids got goin' on in here?

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Challenge #02379-F189: For a Thousand Years

"I believe there's something good in him."

"That's childish."

"So? Children can be right too." -- Anon Guest

"We're talking about a man who has rounded up millions of people, put them into life-endangering camps when he and his cohort couldn't outright kill them, denied them basic human rights, denied them humanity, cowed the populace with both his super-loyal adherents and threats of physical and legal violence, and is one hundred percent in favour of eliminating anyone who isn't a member of

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Challenge #02378-F188: Anything You Can Do...

An idea for the humans/earth is space Australia. These aliens fight with their voice. But our songs are stronger. Opera singers? They can't even fathom, they just faint. Thought you'd have fun with it! Thank you -- Anon Guest

The Karolai had thought they were masters of tactics and the ultimate weapon. None had dared oppose them for a thousand years of glory. Their empire spanned most of a galactic arm, and they kept tight control of it with sonic weaponry.

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Challenge #02377-F187: Almost a Nightmare

Imagine you meet your doppelganger of a different species. They look nothing like you, but your personalities are as close to identical as possible! -- Anon Guest

The universe is a fractal, as above, so below. Galaxies spiral into a supergalaxy. Stars spiral into galaxies, clouds of debris spiral into both stars and planets. Atmosphere spirals into weather... liquid drains into a spiral form. Around and around it goes... Is it no wonder, then, that there are patterns of personas?

They do

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Challenge #02376-F186: So Walks a Spider

Imagine if the Old Pagan gods still walked among us. But the stories from their point of view were slightly different.. and they were only made into gods because of storytellers...

I.E.

Odin: "I started my existence as an ordinary man, and lived a fairly uneventful first life. Then my wife passed and I became lonely so I started to look after all the local lost and orphaned children. The bards started to sing of my generosity far and wide until

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Challenge #02375-F185: Call it a Win

"I'm sorry HOW was this created?"

"Ok, two parts antimatter, three parts tachyon particles. Toss near the edge of the event horizon of a black hole, while slowly adding the core of a model 57 chronos warp drive engine."

"Uh-huh"

Look into the perfectly stable portal. -- Anon Guest

"Wait. No. The physics is impossible. Antimatter and tachyons react explosively when in close proximity..."

"Not if you use a sufficiently advanced magnetic bottle containment system," said the Human smugly.

"There aren't any,

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Challenge #02374-F184: Interesting Impressions

Imagine meeting a species that displayed all their emotions via dermal colour displays. And how humans would react to them -- Adam in Darwin

As first contact situations go, the meeting between Humans and Acrodontids could have plausibly gone better. When it comes to meeting Humans, it's a minor miracle that they don't shoot on sight. Those who don't shoot on sight are the ones who tend to enthusiastically pack bond. It's still a matter of debate as to which is worse.

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Challenge #02373-F183: The Human Paradox

An alien publishes his work on "The human paradox", the fact that the universe is a more safer place since the most deadliest species are everywhere. -- Hyorky

Humans are a paradox, Grax wrote in hir treatise. They are simultaneously the bravest and the most cowardly, the most generous and the most miserly, the most sensible and the most insane. As Deathworlders, they should also be the most hazardous species in the Galactic Alliance, but, as we all know, Alliance space has

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Challenge #02372-F182: The Marvellous Six

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9Q3i5w6-Ug

(Also, Why isn't this a legit anime!!!!) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Well, I made it 181 days without using anyone else's IP. Can't get any money from the anthology of this year now. Sigh. Oh well. Totes worth it for this one]

Reach for the stars, Yukanna... Their power is our power. If you can feel them... you will never fail. Grandfather had said that, when he had taken Yukanna to see the ribbon lights

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Challenge #02371-F181: Colour-coded For Inconvenience

"Don't touch that, it's hot."

"It doesn't look hot."

"Hot things are red on Terra." -- Anon Guest

"Uh. Not exactly," said a nearby Human. "Not all red things are hot, and not all hot things are red. For your safety, check for radiant heat," they demonstrated, holding their hand above the surface and gradually approaching touching it until they pulled away. "This one is actually hot. See?"

The tourists huddled together a little. "That is how you test for heat on

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Challenge #02370-F180: Stone Tools and Bear Skins

An alien crew hires a discount group of human bodyguards to protect them on an expedition to a heavily forested/jungled planet to research the planet life. Murphy's law happens and the alien crew find out they hired the human group that is , as a group, a hybrid of MacGyver, John Wick, and the the A-Team. -- Anon Guest

One of the launch seats, heavily charred, fell out of the tree with a solid thud. The Human who dislodged it had got

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