Humans Are Weird

Challenge #02501-F311: Special Skill

I have the unique ability to become very flexible after cracking every joint in my body -- Anon Guest

On a kludge station like Amalgam, you get repair junctions like these. They were spaces where cables, pipes, and the occasional load-bearing strut ran through because they were convenient, and then access was added as an afterthought because it was all becoming inconvenient. Time and entropy had made it even moreso.

"Can you get up in there?" asked Engineer Laisse. They were quite done having their breakdown by now, thankyou, and had hired the most flexible JOAT on the roster. The hope was that 'flexible' meant 'physically flexible' and not 'mentally' or 'emotionally'.

"I could but you might not like it. Full offensensitivity warning for disturbing body sounds."

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Challenge #02498-F308: Sleepless With Sialith

They knew humans could last a long time without sleep, but most had regular sleep intervals. When choosing a new man, they heard he was very reliable, fiercely protective of whatever crew he served, and anyone who'd worked with him were more than a little disappointed when he would be reassigned. Things seemed to be working out fine, until they noticed he was sleeping a lot less than most humans, but when he did, he crashed hard! So much so it was

Challenge #02495-F305: Goofy Scary Skeletons

"Be careful of humans this time of cycle; because this is when they perform a ritual they call 'Halloween.' They place images of human skeletal structures, women with green skin, humans biting into other humans' necks, and other frightening images." -- Anon Guest

Some Humans celebrate mortality. Others celebrate horror and the unknown. In both circumstances, part of the celebration involves dressing up and a certain volume of depictions of Human skeletons. The cultural significance of these have been through more

Challenge #02482-F292: Sauce Please

Humans are known to be very adaptable to most conditions thanks in no small part to the horrors that come naturally on their home planet. So while many aliens won’t be making Earth a tourist hot spot of the galaxy, the next best thing to experience human cultures are the restaurants in the space stations or food markets on a human colony. Seriously, if you have to think of nutrition requirements for more then two different species but can only go

Challenge #02479-F289: What in a Name

A small movement has cropped up amongst the Vorax. People who would rather try to live quiet, peaceful, lives instead of piracy and war. When the government goes to make an example out of them, they take the only ship they can get their hands on and flee. They find an uninhabited haven world that's suitable for them to live on and settle down to live quiet lives as farmers, raising their meat animals, hunting wild game, fishing, growing crops, and just

Challenge #02478-F288: Hope in the Dark Times

A distant planet has caught ancient radio signals from earth. They are visual images and audio of the chronicles of a exploratory ship and it's crew.

Over 200 years before humans figured out long-term space travel...

Everyone is confused. -- AmberFox

Filtering things out of the Hydrogen Line is an interesting task. Though it is a band relatively free of interference, there is still signal fade as it disperses through deeper space. Those listening for the echoes of the big bang regularly

Challenge #02475-F285: Dismantling Babel

Humans may not be able to recreate the visual cacophony of many species in the Allegiance due to a lack of chromatophoric organs,

(though the "body art" some inflict upon themselves both temporarily with chemical compounds on the Dermis, as well as via repeated and what they call "minor" puncturing of said dermal tissue coupled with the injection of colouring chemicals)

But what they can do with their vocal and pneumonic systems in mimetic creation and improvisation is incredible, and now it

Challenge #02473-F283: Yo Ho, Foe No Mo'

A band of pirates attack a ship they'd learned would be mostly hauling civilians, students, and their possessions. What they don't realize is the ship they attacked, though owned by havenworlders, is filled with deathworlders, mostly humans. To pass the time while waiting for the fight to end, the humans pick up their instruments to practice the music they were going to play at the interspecies music competition. But there are other music lovers out there, too. Can a pirate learn to

Challenge #02471-F281: Double the Experience

They were twins, identical to the last freckle. It brought them no end of joy with playing pranks on friends, or on unsuspecting galactics, when they wore the exact same clothes and hair styles. Very few have ever seen humans that looked, sounded, and acted so similar that they could practically be ONE person in two bodies. But they were in space for a reason. To learn new foods, new cuisines, new inspirations. They wanted to open a restaurant that could one

Challenge #02470-F280: Fluidity

A genderfluid human whose sexuality changes along with their gender, attempts to explain how they experience life to someone with very little context, save for that this particular human is sometimes interested in them and sometimes... just wants to play video games together. -- Anon Guest

Humans have so many labels for things. It could be amusing, were it not for the multitude of those who struggle with those labels and what they mean to them. Prefixes and suffixes and interfixes, oh

Challenge #02467-F277: Human Jae's Video Log

Up next, the top 10 questions you'll get from your intergalactic crewmates. -- Anon Guest

Hey, out there, infonets! It's your friendly wandering Human Jae! Living large on the Edge of the Galactic Alliance, yeeeaaaahhhh... Have no fear, I am mostly harmless, I swear. That thing with the Vorax scout troop was a fluke I have yet to explain. Promise.

So I've been doing the round robin thing, escorting the. Absolute. Cutest. Havenworlders on their scientific excursions, and oh my God I

Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Master Chef in SPAAACCEE!!! -- Anon Guest

Chefs tend to treat certain groups of people differently. Professionals who mess up are far more likely to get the chewing out of a lifetime than a small child or a student who is just beginning to learn. The most famous of them who held this philosophy has managed to spread it memetically through most of Human space. Now, every Human chef follows the same philosophy.

Now, because of the Train Wreck Phenomenon, cogniscents all

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

"Do you wanna go with me, [fellow Havenworlder]? Human Frank invited me to a showing of one of his favourite - what's the word? Ah, "movies"! No, stop screaming! This one is just some made-up story about wooden mush or something. Sounds pretty safe, probably not much violence there."

[ten minutes into Pulp Fiction]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" -- Anon Guest

Never trust Human entertainments. They are made by Deathworlders, for Deathworlders and, for many years after they met and learned about Havenworlders, about Deathworlders.

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Genders are like the twin towers; there was two of them, now it's a sensitive topic. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh boy, am I glad you're an Anon or I'd track you down and logically explain how this is so wrong on multiple levels]

There were rainbow flags everywhere. People wore their identities on their chests, on their faces, around their wrists and draped over their shoulders like a caped hero. Dave only knew what half of those colour combos meant, and

Challenge #02446-F256: Do No Harm

In her late teens, early 20's, she went into space to learn to be a medic. From the time she was a small child, she had wanted to be someone who saved lives. She was a Lucker with a twist. For though she never won at cards, dice, or at any game she played, when it came to the struggle between life and death, death would always lose. And she had vowed, no matter her patient be a friend or an enemy,

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A 178-post collection

Challenge #02501-F311: Special Skill

Challenge #02498-F308: Sleepless With Sialith

Challenge #02495-F305: Goofy Scary Skeletons

Challenge #02482-F292: Sauce Please

Challenge #02479-F289: What in a Name

Challenge #02478-F288: Hope in the Dark Times

Challenge #02475-F285: Dismantling Babel

Challenge #02473-F283: Yo Ho, Foe No Mo'

Challenge #02471-F281: Double the Experience

Challenge #02470-F280: Fluidity

Challenge #02467-F277: Human Jae's Video Log

Challenge #02464-F274: No Ordinary Fool

Challenge #02453-F263: A General Warning

Challenge #02452-F262: Tolerance Overload

Challenge #02446-F256: Do No Harm