Humans Are Space Orcs

Challenge #01700-D237: Tougher Than You Think

So, havenworlders getting a look at this data? Alternatively, Galactic Citizens or Deathworlders from a lower category seeing one of our weak areas (like water requirements) and going "I can do better than that!"

(Same data, but with it in sane units) -- RecklessPrudence

Galactic Society shares some information for free. For example, information on what they deem to be dangerous species. Before the rediscovery of a colony world later named Amity, they shared gathered information on humans so that others could avoid them.

Some people, however, did not take such information in the spirit that it was given.

Thork, Captain/Explorer of the Investigating Journey had found an otherwise ideal world that was infested by humans. They were a sparse population by his judgement[1]. It should be relatively easy to eradicate them. Once he isolated their weakness. He carefully gathered up all available data on humans and concluded that they were vulnerable to both cold and flooding.

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Challenge #01698-D237: One Thing in Common

So, about those Deathworlders and their group singing/memetic hazards? -- RecklessPrudence

There were hundreds of human colonial representatives. An even third was busy having a heated argument with a second third, while the rest attempted to argue the other two groups into submission. Any moment, now, blood would be drawn and these savage Deathworlders would fly into a frenzy.

Which would not be good news for the first Ambassadorial Meet that actually welcomed these bloodthirsty, balding apes.

One of the human's

Challenge #01696-D235: Functionality

[From one person who got about three hours' sleep, to the person who dumped a new, extremely important, problem in their lap at godawful in the morning, and who they are responsible for]

"Have you slept at all, [Name]?"

"Not at all."

"You should try it sometime. I end up in less trouble when you do." -- RecklessPrudence

...by any other species standards, we just plain don't get tired. -- Archivaas Collective on Humanity's Self-realisation

The news of impending disaster was met

Challenge #01695-D234: Unlikely Survival Tactics

[Person #1]: Stop asking hard questions.

[Person #2]: Buddy, if I could stop thinking 'em, I'd stop asking 'em. -- RecklessPrudence

It's very clear that humans are gather-hunters whenever an isolating emergency occurs. Their first instinct is to gather everything they can and use that as a basis for what they do next. Often, this can be displacement activity in situations where the best course of action is to wait for the ERT to come to the rescue.

But there are other

Challenge #01693-D232: The Most Dangerous Opponent

"You can’t hold a grudge forever"

“I’m not ‘holding a grudge’, I’m making decisions based on past evidence.” -- RecklessPrudence

"The humans are going to destroy all your careful plans," said the old general. "These are members of a species that coined the phrase, 'no plan ever survives first contact with the enemy'. You could try to learn from that."

The war council turned to stare and General Gerax. He was the last one to famously lose to the

Challenge #01692-D231: Items of Mass Destruction

It was hard not to admire a four-year-old who could disassemble a hygiene unit into so many pieces it took three engineers most of a duty shift to put it back together. -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the destructive items that humanity has in its collective repertoire, the two that cause the most amazement and confoundment are: the average pants pocket, and their own young. Left unsupervised, they can cause more chaos, destruction, and all-out-entropy than the tools actively designed to do so.

Challenge #01691-D230: Dangerous Lifeforms

[Name] wondered if considering that statement to be a fine example of famous last words made them unduly paranoid or just conscious of historical precedent. -- RecklessPrudence

There are numerous, common, famous last words. "I think it's going to be all right," is in the top ten. Likewise, "Hold my beer, I've got this," or, "Hey, watch this!" But of the all-time destined-to-be-last-words, Grax thought that, "Awright, silleh bugurz..." had to be a record-holder for the first prize.

Especially when it came

Challenge #01690-D229: Problems of Scale

"Lets poke it and see what it does?" famous last words or an eureka moment. -- Anon Guest

There is nothing so large and so terrifying that a human won't try to poke it. - Galactic Proverb.

Of all the terrors of the universe, black holes have to be the one that holds a universal horror. Nobody with any sense wants to be anywhere near a black hole. So, of course, humanity figured out how to get a station in a LaGrange

Challenge #01669-D208: Favourite Flavour

Auto Condimenter. -- Knitnan

The habits of humans fascinated Zyrik. It was why she went into food services, so she could study them in an environment where she would be invisible. She made Time off her anthropology as well as bussing tables, but anthropology was her chief area of fascination.

This latest example was a freight trucker fresh off their rig, sitting down to a big plate of deep fried potato prisms. The plate was already loaded with the house gravy, but

Challenge #01666-D205: High Risk Employment

Beware the old ones in a profession where one dies young -- RecklessPrudence

Fast reflexes, an almost preternatural awareness of one's surroundings, instincts like a knife blade. These are the things that make a good asteroid runner. Being able to get in, snag the asteroid, and get out without causing orbital upsets in one's wake is a skill that one only has to get wrong once for a life and a career to be over.

It's a job for the young and

Challenge #01660-D199: Explosive Egress

[Scientist #1]: Where'd you get plastic explosives?

[Scientist #2]: Made it.

[#1]: It'll work?

[#2]: See, you don't worry if explosives work. You worry if they'll work too much. -- RecklessPrudence

V'tez considered their options. The downside of this situation was that they were trapped by a meteor impact and all methods of communication were cut off. There was only so much air, even in their livesuits. The odds of the ERT's finding them in time were remote.

And V'tez was working

Challenge #01655-D194: Expensive Reactions

On the topic of "Humans are Insane," I present: Every chemist who has ever willingly worked with something that ended up in the "Things I Won't Work With" guy's articles. Please note, many of said chemists were attempting to come up with new, better, rocket fuel, so it was designed to be highly explosive from the get-go.

(can't embed the link for some reason, gets flagged as spam) -- RecklessPrudence

Humans are recognised as patently unkillable across the Galactic Alliance. But even

Challenge #01647-D186: Bad Eggs in One Basket

[On the idea of putting two Deathworlders in the one cage you have that you think can hold them]

Yeah, I mean, it's like storing all your plutonium cores in the same spot. Can't hurt right? They'll all be contained in a reinforced area anyways... -- RecklessPrudence

It was the perfect prison. Re-enforced cerametal[1] with smooth, vertical sides. The only way in or out was through a hole in the ceiling. Which was well out of the human's reach.

The human,

Challenge #01627-D166: Desperate Invention

“The reasons that would not work are outnumbered only by the reasons it would be a disaster if it did.” -- RecklessPrudence

The ship's human took a moment to stare at Thorassik. "You and I have very different definitions of 'disaster'..."

"Yes! There is significant loss of profit in all scenarios, but if we die, the company loses the least."

"Well," sighed Human Steff. "I'm not about to lay my life down for the company."

"You are not a model employee," chided

Challenge #01616-D155: But What is it For?

Soft Teddy bears given to people in stress, usually children who are hurt or rescued. The thing about Teddy Bears is they don't judge you, they are just soft, and smiling and invite a shared hug. -- Knitnan

Pulled from a lifepod. Still in shock. Bright lights and confusing noises and too much. Far too much. Way too much to deal with at once. People in frightening suits all getting into her face. She didn't know anyone. Didn't know where she was

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A 313-post collection

Challenge #01700-D237: Tougher Than You Think

Challenge #01698-D237: One Thing in Common

Challenge #01696-D235: Functionality

Challenge #01695-D234: Unlikely Survival Tactics

Challenge #01693-D232: The Most Dangerous Opponent

Challenge #01692-D231: Items of Mass Destruction

Challenge #01691-D230: Dangerous Lifeforms

Challenge #01690-D229: Problems of Scale

Challenge #01669-D208: Favourite Flavour

Challenge #01666-D205: High Risk Employment

Challenge #01660-D199: Explosive Egress

Challenge #01655-D194: Expensive Reactions

Challenge #01647-D186: Bad Eggs in One Basket

Challenge #01627-D166: Desperate Invention

Challenge #01616-D155: But What is it For?