InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12647 posts

Challenge #0038: Where Art Thou, Daughter?

Before Josie’s mom goes to Kraplaquistan, recount the last conversation she had with Jason and how little she really knows how awful he is, even as it reeks and ferments before her very eyes due to her obsession to bring Josie back to her point of view.

Porche  greeted Jason with a warm hug and a kiss on each cheek. “Daar-ling! How have you been? I’ve been dying to see you since Tullagawupwup…”

Jason smiled warmly for her and waved away a disappointed blonde in the background. “Porche, dear Porche… Have you heard anything from poor, lost Josie? Has she changed her mind?”

“I heard from a good friend that one of his distant cousins glimpsed her in Kraplaquistan, of all places.”

“That is a lot of miles to track her down,” Jason snagged a passing champagne. “I do hope that inheritance dear Josie is due is not catching a beating. I’d hate to think of you lovely ladies becoming destitute.”

“Oh, no, don’t you worry your darling head about it. I pretty much budgeted for all this travelling since before dear Josie took it into her head to go gallivanting. Securing the knowledge of my poor girl’s future and its security is just a drop out of the reservoir.”

“And I trust you’re well adept at keeping any… nasty rumours under wraps?”

“Of course, of course. My best friends own the networks. The rest can be dismissed as hateful things people spread on the internet. Lesbian, indeed,” Porche sniffed.

“Ha. I put rest to that one,” Jason laughed. “You can’t be a lesbian if you’ve had sex with a man.”

“Yes. No need to state it so crudely, my dear.”

“There’s a polite way to say it?”

“Perhaps that you both enjoyed a ménage?”

“Oh yeah,” Jason swapped his empty glass for a handful of canapés. “I ménaged her brains out.”

Porche cleared her throat and pretended not to have heard Jason’s last remark. For all his occasional crude attitude, he was of good stock with some very good political connections. If she could just convince that idiot girl to give up her nonsense and live properly, then Porche’s grandson may well be leader of the free world.

As she drifted away, she could have sworn she glimpsed Jason re-joining the blonde he disappointed earlier. One of his more regrettable tendencies was that he lacked a certain amount of volume control.

“Yeah, that’s the old bat. Gonna marry her only daughter for the money, fuck ‘er until she pops out a kid or two, and then set us up on our own little holiday island. Ugly as hell, the both of them, and the daughter’s damn flaming. Of course I’m all yours. I got a whole library of excuses to stay away from them.”

Boyish high spirits. Once Josie had him settled down, he would forget about the blonde. And if he refused to part with that silicone-stufed piece of eye candy… Porche would just have to find out the girl’s name - and make her life… inconvenient.

Nobody put one up on Porche VonSmythe. Tomorrow, she was going to fly to Kraplaquistan and drag Josie back to the altar if she had to. But for now, it was smiles, glitter and wine.

[Muse food remaining: 5. Submit a prompt or ask a question!]

Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 50

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Fifty: Peace in Another’s Arms (part two)

  They didn’t care how loud they were. It didn’t matter how loud they were. All there was was each other.

  Kitty all but ground herself into the base of his tail as the coiling, twining, prehensile limb filled her like nothing else. Kurt’s pulse made it jump inside her, his heart’s rhythm driving her wild.

  When she

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 49

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Forty-Nine: Peace in Another’s Arms (part one)

  They’d been planning this event for weeks. It had felt like forever, while they were trying to find a piece of time, but they’d found it. The story for their comrades and families was that they were seeking a little ‘together time’. It was strictly true, but no-one had mentioned, or asked, what they were *doing* together.

  It had

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Challenge #00037: Whither Shall I Wander

Include anywhere in the story this line: “Anywhere was home, unless the place included her.”

Josie was a wanderer. Anywhere was home, unless the place included her.

She did not use her name. It was always she, her or, in extreme situations, that woman. Just a glimpse of her, just the thought that she might be there, that she might have followed her across oceans, continents, rivers, towns or down the endless roads… had Josie packing her bags and

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betterbemeta: fuckyeahfanficflamingo: [FIC WITH TERRIBLY OOC CHARACTERS SET IN A HIGH SCHOOL AU IN WHICH EVEN THE SUMMARY HAS MISPELLINGS:...

betterbemeta:

fuckyeahfanficflamingo:

[FIC WITH TERRIBLY OOC CHARACTERS SET IN A HIGH SCHOOL AU IN WHICH EVEN THE SUMMARY HAS MISPELLINGS: HUNDREDS OF REVIEWS (Fanfic Flamingo) WELL-WRITTEN FIC WITH GOOD GRAMMAR AND SPELLING WHICH GREATLY EXPANDS UPON CANON MATERIAL OR IS SET IN A REALLY INTERESTING AU: NO REVIEWS]

my life

me


GPOY, with Twilight and 50 Shades of WTF versus the good stuff ANYONE ELSE INCLUDING ME writes.

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Challenge #00036: Wanted hair problems

I think I submitted this before, I might be mistaken.  Anyway…

Kurt and Beast, a malfunctioning electric razor/pet-groomer, and the amusing/embarassing results of the latter encountered by the former two.

[Yeah, you did as anon, and since you’re so insistent, I guess this is today’s instant story]

Shaving was a problem for the naturally hirsute. The trimming products usually designed for people did not take into account things like, say, embarrassing bald patches. And trimer

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 48

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Forty-Eight: Home Away From Home

  “What on *Earth*?” Scott boggled. “He is *not* greeting everyone by name.”

  “Heirelgart’s a small town,” said Jean. “What do you expect?”

  “Okay,” said Kitty, “That is *so* not German,” she flipped through her dictionary. “That is *way* not German. It’s not even *dialect*. What *language* are they like, *speaking*?”

  “

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Challenge #00035: Not My Fault!

Jean discovers a reason why Duncan should be dumped and Todd shows her why Scott might be a better choice, all while they hang upside down from a tree. By accident.

“It'snotmyfault, IsweartoGod, pleasedon'tkillme!”

Jean was still getting her bearings. A tough thing to do when gravity wanted all her blood to settle into her head because the ground was directly above it.

She let open her ‘walls’ a crack to scan for any other intelligent life besides&

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aria-lerendeair: completelybackasswards: your-crowning-glory: pie-liner-eats-tesseract: spookysataan: heyfunniest: Avengers' New...

aria-lerendeair:

completelybackasswards:

your-crowning-glory:

pie-liner-eats-tesseract:

spookysataan:

heyfunniest:

Avengers’ New Groove Masterpost.

oh it’s not the masterpost… not yET:

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LOL BEST POST EVER 

Reblogging again for the new notes

This fandom.

THIS.  SO MUCH OF THIS.  YES.

Reblogging because MeMum does not believe Tumblr does this all day.

There ya go, mum. There ya go.

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 47

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Forty-Seven: An Excercise in Surrealism

  Andrei had been growing again. He was bordering on clearing eight feet. He was fiddling with a cork overshoe, worn so that his metal horseshoes wouldn’t cause too much noise or damage to the interiors of the public building.

  He put his huge hoof back down the second he saw Kurt. “Are you all right, Kasegewicht? You’re looking a little - ill.”

  “

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Challenge #00034:

End a story with this line: “She only knew it was going to be messy, however it ended.”

Karin had a problem with clean. Firstly, it never made sense; because the first thing that happened to clean was that someone pretty much instantly made it ‘un’ in short order. Secondly, she could never really do it. Her attempts at clean always ended badly.

And Mom loved clean. Loved it beyond all reason.

And today was Mother’s

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 46

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Forty-Six: Damning Testimony

  Kurt’s face went almost completely emotionless as he sat. Raven, under the guise of Risty Wilde, didn’t let her fear show. She just took notes, as she always did. She’d need this material to drive Hess so insane that she’d never harm another child ever again.

  Matt Murdock stood and traced his way around the table. “Mister Wagner, how long have you

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Challenge #00033: Baby Monster

Graydon Creed and Mr. Kian get into an argument about mutants in school, power, decency and misogyny, which also demonstrates to Kian how much of a terror Graydon could be when he’s older.

“Now, I understand you used a slur in a public arena, mmkay?”

“Mutie is not a slur. It’s what they are.”

“Mmkay. That word you just used, the new M word? Mmkay, that’s a slur, mmkay… It&

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