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Challenge #01948-E124: Who's a Good Dog?

In the land of magic, Death frequently has problems with pets that absolutely refuse to stay dead. -- Anon Guest

In all of creation, there is nothing more loyal than a good dog. Though it was widely agreed that Kerby was one of the truly daft ones. He was a rescue dog, and had some kind of skin infection that made him look dead. Dan, who had picked him up with a shovel as part of his job, got the fright of his life when what he assumed was a corpse woke up and hopped off to start fawning in his general direction.

Kerby, a pun on Kerberos, which in turn was the correct spelling of Cerberus, got his name as a joke. Even the vet said that this hound must have escaped from Hell. But he was the sweetest little angel and everyone's friend for a bite of hotdog and a pat. He was a living reminder for the Animal Cleanup Crew to check for a heartbeat before flinging a body into the back of the ute. And he was credited with the saving of fifteen far more telegenic animals.

The press nicknamed Kerby the "Zombie Dog". Especially after he got run over. Twice. And bounced back with minor injuries and an undaunted attitude. Though Dan religiously treated Kerby's skin with the recommended lotions, bathed him carefully, and fed him the recommended diet, there was nothing that impacted Kerby's decayed-looking skin, or that would remedy the Smell. Dan and his Cleanup Crew just dealt with it and hung air fresheners from his collar. And gave him a dog-sized jacket that read I ain't dead (yet).

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Challenge #01947-E123: Loose End Tied

"Never, ever empty this person's pockets again!" referencing Harpo Marx, Sergeant Constantine Bothari, and any JOAT! -- Anon Guest

Okay, now I've fucked up, thought Taako, transmutation wizard extraordinaire. Crew-member of the Starblaster. Multi-dimensional traveller. One of the Seven Birds of Prophecy. Member of the B.O.B. Best chef in all of Faerûn. Oh, and main squeeze of the Grim fucking Reaper. This thought came, of course, at half-consciousness as the not-so-stupid guards dragged him to the throne room of the

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Challenge #01946-E122: Change for the Better

Paper clips, rubber bands, and the ever reliable wire coat-hanger. -- Anon Guest

In accordance with Galactic Standards and Practices verses the JOAT Conglomerate, all Standard Screws will now feature a slot to accommodate the use of a 5 Sec Coin in lieu of any screwdriver.

Truly. This was a day of victory. Of course, the fine print under the announcement reassured business owners that secure spaces were still allowed to use non-standard fastenings, so long as they provided the relevant tools

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Challenge #01946-E122: Strangers With Candy

TANSTAAFL, or "Invest in Acme income Management, returns of 50 to 70%" Yeah! Right! -- Anon Guest

[AN: For those who don't have familiarity with ancient acronyms, this one stands for, "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch"]

Lee Arr and Fred DeShanko were at it again. She recognised the pattern, even though their names weren't easily found in the pamphlet.

Step One: Latch on to some fringe science or stuff so far out on the cutting edge that it's

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Challenge #01945-E121: Caveat Emptor

"Marry in haste, repent at leisure," or what happens when the icing is off the gingerbread. -- Anon Guest

Tyn could not understand why Thel had gone through so many spouses. Thel was the dreamiest star of romance and song in the entire world, and Tyn counted hirself lucky to share a minute with the famous and wonderful Thel, and now ze was sharing hir life with them. It was the life of Tyn's dreams.

Red carpet. Glitz. Glamour. The intense and

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Challenge #01944-E120: Detect Trap

If it looks too good to be true, it's probably a con. -- Anon Guest

Exciting opportunities were to be found in the Callibreso Void, according to the promotional puff piece. A new force was being investigated that could be a natural form of anti-gravity, as opposed to the gravity generators that were the sole responsibility and product of the Nae'hyn. If it could be isolated and harnessed, then it would be a new revolution in propulsion technology. You, too, could get

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Challenge #01943-E119: It's a Living

Having the tact and sensitivity of a kick in the ass can be considered a disadvantage in nearly any circumstance, mostly when dealing with superior or ambassador. But from time to time it allows you to unfreeze some situation. -- Anon Guest

Sometimes, delicacy and care are needed in a given situation. Sometimes, people need a swift kick in the butt. For the former, there is the entourage. Which contains all the people who know tact and negotiation, and how to 'handle'

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Challenge #01942-E118: Made Great Again

Mouth on Legs politicians willing to promise anything or come up with grand schemes to get elected. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I need an image of Google Search asking "Did you mean Donald Trump?" Nonny - I write fiction. Nevertheless, I'll give it a go.]

It was going to be a bold new era. Things were going to change. The rich would pull their weight in the economy. People were going to have the playing field both leveled and cleared. No child

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Challenge #01941-E117: Well Met, Helpmeet

Third hand, semi trained person needed to "here hold this'," Pass tools, shine lights. -- Anon Guest

There are only so many fates when you're an orphan, and Krop figured he was one of the luckier ones. Sold to a travelling show as a crewman's prentice. The food was a great deal better than orphanage food, but you could say that about any food outside of an orphanage or a monastery. In one, the meals were bland and austere because the monks

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Challenge #01940-E116: Pax Princeps

My son now has a five year old daughter. He referred to her as 'Princess' and I had to tease him. "What are her duties as a Princess? Does she negotiate treaties between her dolls and her teddy bears? Does she preside over public events? Does she have any input on new legislation?"

It backfired. Now she DOES negotiate treaties among her stuffed critters. -- Bard2DBone

Most little girls like to play Princess. Most little girls do so by wearing sparkly, frou-frou

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Challenge #01940-E116: Mama Done Tole Me

a world that's basically space America but taken to its logical extreme and becoming a redneck paradise -- Anon Guest

[AN: Trying not to go to Greater Deregulation here]

There are the Few, but we don't go near the likes of them. We are the Many. We look after our own. We make do with what we got. We earn what we can, and we got our pride. Every now and again, the Few come along and try to tell us what

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Challenge #01939-E115: Baby's First Flight

I'll spread my wings and learn to fl- oh, crap, sorry, I didn't mean to knock that over. I underestimated my wingspan. -- TheDragonsFlame

The thing about wings is, they're the largest part of any flying creature's anatomy. They have to be. In order to independently lift one's own body-weight, most of that weight has to be doing the heavy lifting. And if you're flapping to do it... well... there's a reason why the largest flying birds in the world employ the

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Challenge #01938-E114: Shark Generosity

Temptation comes in many forms, 30% off for one. -- Knitnan

Sale season was something Shayde was used to happening during the new financial year. Something that this new age didn't have. What they had, instead, was tax season. Which lead to the tax season charity sales. Excess stock that the companies could no longer afford to store, was to be sold at a discount to those who could otherwise not afford it.

Shayde, who could afford anything she liked now-a-days, still

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Challenge #01937-E113: Very Important Tools

Why on Earth would you ever need more than one of those? -- Anon Guest

"Listen. There is a philosophy about the right tool for the right job. And these tools all have a different job."

"But six different spatulas? Why?"

"This one's best for scrambling. This one's best for tossing. This one can flip a pancake with ease. This one is good for chasing things around on a griddle," the chef laid them out as he spoke. "This one's excellent for

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Challenge #01936-E112: Recurring Pathology

You finally decide to re-arrange or clean up an area and find stuff. -- Knitnan

"This is not a collection," said Rael. "This is a hoard."

Eyah sighed. "Yeah. I might have a problem."

Rael leveled a ersatz-telepathic Look at his fellow Faiize. It said, You may have made the biggest understatement since some alleged genius claimed that black holes are 'a bit heavy'.

"Okay. Yes. I have a problem. I can not stay away from glittery objects. I mean... I have

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