I may be a coward, but I will not let that define me. -- RecklessPrudence
My name is Val, and I'm afraid. Every day, every minute, all I can think of is the worst possible consequences that result from my actions. You might call it anxiety. I don't think it's anything as mild as that. I have a mechanical clock as an alarm, because what if the power fails in the night and all the electronic stuff doesn't work? I sterilise my toothbrush in-between uses because every time you flush the toilet , poop bacteria gets literally everywhere. I have bars on my windows because what if burglars... but they're the ones I can undo from the inside because what if fires?
I obsess over health news because what if I get sick? And I fear going to the doctor, because... what if I'm dying? Everything I eat is natural, and I take multivitamins, and I exercise because I never, ever, ever want to get sick. And every morning, I'm scared to read the health news because what if I've been doing it wrong?
I carry antibacterial hand sanitiser and baby wipes everywhere. I never go out for fun, because that's how you get murdered. I can barely go out for work, but I have to because everything costs money. I'm that person in the office you never talk to, who has their lunch in their work desk drawer so that the office lunch thief doesn't help themself, causing me to go into hypoglycemic shock and die because I can't trust vending machines or restaurants. It's a scary, scary world.
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